Where’s Jessica Fletcher when you need her?

Patriot Retort: I don’t want to get all Jessica Fletcher on you guys, but the Great Fish Tank Additive Story from last week is looking kind of … well … fishy. READ ON

12 Comments on Where’s Jessica Fletcher when you need her?

  1. The timing seemed so…”convenient”. And as the twitterati stated—repeatedly—how could they be so stupid? WELL! Maybe SHE wasn’t.

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  2. …full disclosure here: I, myself, once considered dosing others with fish tank additive.

    But in my defense, it wasn’t for medicinal purposes, but for a laugh.

    And I didn’t do it anyway.

    DISCLAIMER: THIS IS IN NO WAY TO SUGGEST THAT THIS IS A SAFE OR GOOD THING TO DO, AND WOULD LIKELY BE VERY STUPID AND PEOPLE COULD DIE. I WAS, LIKE, 14 AT THE TIME, AND EVEN I BACKED AWAY FROM IT. DON’T DO IT, IT’S WRONG AND PEOPLE COULD DIE.

    …now that THAT’S out of the way…

    …I had tanks of fish at various times in my formative years for no good reason I can remember, just because. I was quite sincere about it at one point and had a panoply of aquacultural supplies, including a liquid antifungal/antiparasitic dye known as “Methylene Blue”.

    …well, I read a lot when I was younger, too, and I came across a passage in some book about oversexed air force nurses (did I mention I was 14?) where they hosted a party with an open punchbowl (always a bad idea) which someone added a medical dye to for the purpose of making it look more interesting, in keeping with a Hallowen theme.

    This dye was Methylene Blue.

    This is an injection only thing now, but was evidenly used as an oral test for renal (kidney) function at one time a hundred years ago, because it passes freely into the urine in functional kidneys. IT WILL INJURE OR KILL PEOPLE WITH RENAL INSUFFICIENCES, SO AGAIN DON’T DO THIS, and indicates readily by causing the patient to urinate bright blue.

    I’m told it’s quite shocking if you’re not expecting this.

    I contemplated trying an experiment on this, but arrived at the conclusion that a short-term sequelae to this would be an ass-beating from the substantially older brother I had planned to perpetrate it on once he got over his shock and saw me laughing, so in probably the ONLY wise decision I ever made when I was younger, I didn’t follow through with poisoning a family member.

    …and that’s the closest that I, personally, ever came to misusing a fish tank treatment on a human.

    So, if I, an asshole, pimply 14 year old hormonal idiot could figure out to not make off-label use of aquarium water treatment products based on very tangental suggestions from something I read (and quite enjoyed the illustrations in), then it seems to ME that a pair of senior adults SHOULD be able to figure out as much, as well…

    …I think the best way I saw it expressed in a comment was like this:

    President Trump: “Penecillin can do good things. You should discuss with your doctor when and how and why to take penicillin”.

    Moron: “I’m goimg to eat ALL the bread mold, and live FOREVER.

    (Moron dies)

    Press: TRUMP MURDERS MORON BY FORCING PENICILLIN ON HIM AND MUST BE IMPEACHED.

    …it’s as stupid as that…

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  3. SNS, did you ever eat too many beets?
    I did. Had a real shock that I certainly didn’t expect the first time I ate beets.

    I wonder if beet juice mixed into bloody marys at a Halloween party might panic the bathroom goers.

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  4. PJ MARCH 31, 2020 AT 10:50 PM
    “SNS, did you ever eat too many beets?”

    …since my lifetime consumption of beets total is as close to “0” as I could possibly make it, I’d have to say “no”, but I like the way you think ’cause I see where you’re going with that…

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  5. Nice last meal. Probably just what he would have asked for he had murdered her instead. I guess we will never know.

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  6. Am I the only person that cannot edit a comment after posting? Sentence should read in part…had he murdered her instead.

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  7. I love pickled beets. Borscht not so much, I had a room mate of Russian heritage who made borscht for all of us once at the Guy’s house, I don’t think we ate hardly at all that night, it was more like beet colored water. And you know what they say about beets, you can’t beat beets.

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  8. I’m STILL pissed at Nutflux for dropping “Murder She Wrote” from their streaming service, and yesterday they dropped “Father Brown”! Darn Them!

    But yeah, Wife poisons husband and takes non-lethal dose herself to appear to be a victim too… Its not just on MSW. That is the plot in an episode of every murder mystery show. Leftycrats are always Copycats!

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