White House Begins Temperature Checks for Press

43 Comments on White House Begins Temperature Checks for Press

1. I hope Trump uses his boot.

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2. Rectal thermometer I hope.

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3. Bend over, we just want to take your temperature

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4. Mayor Pete will be first in line for a rectal check!

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5. While they’re at it, maybe they should check to make sure that the “women” reporters don’t have prostate glands.

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6. Rabies tests would be more appropriate for that mongrel horde.

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7. Acosta was the first one to bend over!

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8. Better yet, kick the dirty motherfuckers out. I don’t know why they let all that scum in the building in the first place.

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9. ‘no-contact thermometer’ – yeah, that’s what they tell you it is.

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10. “A friend” wonders if you could camouflage a captive bolt to look like one of those hold-it-to-your-forehead thermometers?

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11. I’ll believe this is a pandemic when the carts come round and they holler “bring out your dead.” Till then it’s just the flu.

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12. “Hey! That’s not my forehead!”
    “That’s OK. That’s not a thermometer.”

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13. lolew. ^

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14. Worst Journalist of the Year Don Lemon (Worst Journalist of the Year) frantically proceeds with his ass cheeks spread apart directly aiming his bhole at point of thermo impact.

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15. This is racist! Reporters are a race. A race of vermin.

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16. “OK. First one who shows a temperature will be quarantined in Adam Schiff’s office. 3 weeks.”

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17. Rectal: it’s the only way to be sure.

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18. Q. What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
    A. The taste.

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19. @Answerman Cooper – Don Lemon says the best rectal thermometers are ribbed.

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20. Just bend over, we need to take your temperature,
    Do you need a phone pole for that?

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21. Drop trou mister Lemon, we need to take your temperature. “With that thing? It’ll just fall out.”

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22. Too bad it’s not a handheld frontal lobotomizer. Zap!!

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23. Since, according to Crazy Joe, the Thing created all men and women as equals then they should all be required to bend over and drop their drawers for a group rectal check!

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24. My boy informed me that he has had his temperature checked, rectally, hundreds of times today alone.

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25. a taser would be more appropriate

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26. If ANY of them are above ROOM temperature, I’LL be amazed! 😮

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27. Liver temp to determine time of death! 🙂

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28. Strap it under his armpit and broadcast it over the Internet for $1 per subscriber. The Democrats will sign up = quick campaign cash.

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29. Well all my best jokes been used up by early commenters.

    Of course their is the one about the absent minded doctor who was attempting to write a check with a thermometer when the clerk informs him.
    “Shit. Some asshole has my pen.”

    Dated. You see, we used to write checks in a retail store. That was from the Paleolithic, or was it the mesozoic, perhaps the Pleistocene eras. You youngsters wouldn’t understand.

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30. “But if this is the thermometer, where the heck is my pen?”

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31. Checking for hotheads like Jim Acosta

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32. This way to quarantine and that way to the morgue.

33. That loudmouth reporter Brian Karem will threaten to meet the doctor outside.

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34. I hope the White House got their thermometer from Harbor Freight. That way the Piece Of Shit will read too high and the WH can throw some of these bastards out.

    The bonus is that the thermometer was made in a Chink Slave Labor Lamp AND that it was made by enslaved Uighyur FILTHY MOHAMMEDAN SAVAGES!!

    Winning!

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35. By all means, make a rectal thermometer – I recommend this one for accuracy:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World%27s_tallest_thermometer.

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36. Considering all the unhinged libs hoping Trump and Pence get the virus, it is NOT an “over abundance of caution”…

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37. @ Bob M: 10,000 ^s!

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38. A celestial plant-it designation called, Uranus…with rings of sandpaper!

39. OK!…Bend over and spread those cheeks!…

    Hey!…wait a minute!…

    Are those TEETH?

    …Really need to see a proctology Dentist!

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40. The White House should test reporters with a rectal thermometer in the size and shape of a cactus, complete with spines.

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41. Don Lemon and Jim Acosta would require a rectal thermometer no matter where you stick it.
    They’re complete assholes.

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42. Take their temperatures (no matter how/where), gather them in one room and seal it up. Push meals through a slot under the door. Toilet? Bucket? Why?

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43. Have them all stand in line single file and using the same thermometer, alternate checking their temperatures orally then anally. I’d sure hate to be standing behind April Ryan right after she had a thermometer shoved in and out of her ass.