Why Was There Peace and Quiet in Mayberry?

The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married ….
Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T. Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara ……. and, of course, Opie– all single. 
The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk……….
Via  Moe Tom

31 Comments on Why Was There Peace and Quiet in Mayberry?

  1. Tommy, Gomer wasn’t married but rumor has it he was in a serious relationship with Roman Gabriel, Deacon Jones, and possibly Merlin Olsen. Too funny bud. By the way he had the hots for Jack Snow, but he was to damn fast.

  2. Yeah. It’s true. Andy Griffith, a commie. Mm.
    Peace would be great if we could just get the sexes right with each other. Males fill the deep needs of females. Females to know the needs ( past sex) of the male.

  3. I have autographs of all those football players – I’ve had them since I was 12. (Jack Snow’s son JT graduated high school the same year as my little sister – they went to the same school).

  4. It was over when Andy married anal-retentive ballbuster Helen Crump.
    His first girlfriend Ellie (Elinor Donahue) was way hotter and cooler.
    Other girlfriends Joanna Moore and Sue Ann Langdon were real honeys.
    No wonder the guy went commie.

  5. A guy at work announced that he was gonna marry the girl he’d lived with for 25 years, or so.

    Another guy asked “What, you tired of fucking her?”

  6. One of my favorite episodes is when the two spinster sisters shut down all the moonshiners in town so that they can sell their “elixir” which is just moonshine but according to them not bad because its used for religious and medicinal purposes.

    One guy comes back multiple times for the elixir. One of the old gals remarks about how much they’ve sold to him and then says “who knew Mayberry had so many muslims?”.

    So apparently they did have muzzies in mayberry–hypocritical drunken ones

  7. That’s funny but it’s not really accurate. Floyd was married and had kids. We even meet his son on the show. Both mayors of Mayberry are married and have kids. Thelma Lou leaves Mayberry to get married. I think Andy and Helen get married in the very last episode. And if you count the “Return to Mayberry” special Barney finally marries Thelma Lou and Opie (all grown up but still played by Ron Howard) – is married and has kids. And Clara is a widow.
    Also the people that Andy and Barney have dealings with are usually always married. And Mayberry is full of kids. Just sayin’ :–)

  8. It really wasn’t that peaceful anyway. In one ep all of the women in town protest to keep a man being thrown off his property to build a highway. In another Andy returns from a business trip to find that Barney had the whole entire town locked up in jail. There are countless attempts to rob the bank and fugitives always seem to end up there. When a criminal is brought in he almost always escapes (usually because of Barney) – and then a full scale manhunt ensues. Mayberry is really a pretty jumping place it just looks peaceful on the surface.

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