Will nobody end the scourge of gender-specific beers?!

Patriot Retort:

Something must be done about the scourge of gender-specific beers, my friends.

Everybody knows if you put a bottle of Sam Adams in the same fridge as a bottle of St. Pauli Girl, misogynistic Sam will elbow her to the back of the shelf.

Or worse!

I know what you’re thinking. “But Dianny, beer doesn’t have a gender!”

That’s just the kind of wrong-headed thinking that comes from people who have been poisoned by toxic masculinity.

Not only do beers have gender, but the very existence of beer brands is a clear and present threat to the gender confused.

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26 Comments on Will nobody end the scourge of gender-specific beers?!

  1. “Bud” was male….”Weiss” was probably female….”Er” could have been pond scum that makes frogs float….

  2. I have both Sam Adams AND St. Pauli Girl in my refrigerator right now. Late at night I sneak into the kitchen and open the door just a crack and peek in to see what they’re up to. I like to watch, and I guess this makes me a perverted voyeur.

  3. If I were Sam Adams I’d drag Miss Pauli with me to the back of the fridge. You might just open the door the next day to find a full six pack.

  4. What about Billy Beer? Or Rainier named after a mountain in Wash. state, Olympia, named after a city or Olympic gods, Lucky lager, do you feel lucky pal or what, Miller, Pabst, Coors all named after people, San Miguel, lousy Filipino beer named after a saint, the Mexican beer with negra in its name. If this keeps up all we’ll have left is generic beer. And hops has got to go as well since it discriminates against people who can’t hop. Barley has bar in its name, can’t use that either. Liberals ruin everything including beer but are perfectly happy to legalize marijuana as their drug of choice. Marijuana, can’t use that either since it discriminates against girls (if you call them that) named Mary Jane. Sometimes you have to be absurd just to describe how dumb and absurd and existential everything liberals and progtards describe.

  5. @PHenry – Heh! But if you take a look at the picture of the barmaid on the St. Pauli Girl label, you have to consider the possibility that she’d be the one doing the dragging! (-8

  6. I thought the rainbow beer was a joke so I had to look it up. It is real. What on earth is going on? Are we going to have an end like a Stephen King novel where everyone ends up dead except for IOTW readers and the few of us left go on a quest to find one another?

  7. @UncleAl Ever been to Oktoberfest in Munich? Those beer servers make Miss Pauli Girl look like she’s bulimic.
    8+ liter mugs bear hugged into ample upper torsos for delivery to the table.

  8. @PHenry – No, I’m sorry to say I’ve never been to Oktoberfest in Munich. Pennsylvania is as close as I’ve come!

    BTW – in re: your first post. I’ve actually drunk Old Frothingslosh and it’s actually a decent if ordinary beer.

  9. @uncle al.
    I couldn’t even look at beer after Ofest. But I remember the waitresses. And the massive urinals. If you were upstream at one of these troughs it was ok. Downstream were the rapids.

  10. @PHenry – Hold your breath and piss fast!

    If you Google search for “st pauli girl pinup” and go for the images, you will find some nice things. Here‘s one I rather like.

  11. PHenry, you gotta stop!!! I’m busting a gut here…

    The rapids?

    Have you considered a career in comedy?

  12. I still remember the troughs in the old Kingdome and in grade schools back in the 60’s. Those were no fun believe me. But when you have to go you have to go as embarrassing it is peeing in a trough next to a whole bunch of strangers.

  13. @boehnerdict
    Whaaat? And give up my exciting career programming archaic ibm machines for a dying retail support business selling cds and DVDs? Are you crazy? Vinyl is coming back and I just couldn’t give it up.

    Until they shutter the biz.

    I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses and bartenders.

    You should see some of the comments in my code, though. Snicker.

  14. @uncle al.
    I can speak cobol, but I speak mostly RPG. It’s been modernized and rpg is a pretty sexy programming language now, believe it or not.

  15. GOWanus, WTF is that?

    I’ll drink my boring miller light and blow off all
    that other ‘spensive shit, you can have it.

    If’n I feel fancy I grab a six of Hacker-Pschorr bottles
    and they do me good, that’s when I can find them.

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