You’re stranded on a deserted island with…


39 Comments on You’re stranded on a deserted island with…

  1. Hmmmm? Let’s see.

    Swim to the nearest island in shark infested waters?
    Smash her on the head with a coconut?
    Smash myself on the head with a coconut?

  2. Enjoy the fact that I could kill her, and nobody would know I did it. And lament the fact that I could kill her, and nobody would know I did it.

  3. Fill coconuts with marijuana, lash them to Killary and send her out to sea, and live happily ever after.
    The end
    PS the sharks got her.

  4. As the Distinguished Rep. Hank Johnson would say.

    “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize,”

  5. I’d spend my time practicing telling the press how she tragically died in a freak avalanche, falling from the cliff – several times – until it was finally over, and reminding myself to not tell the press how heavy the evil bitch was.

  6. I think Hillary could be useful to get rescued. With her size and clothing choices she should be visible from outer space. And her loud cackle is like an air horn. She’d be a useful tool.

  7. Tell her the next island over has all the money you can stuff into your oversized coat and she’ll be gone in a flash.

  8. You’re all to scared to say,

    Eliminate the threat.


    Been nice to have been around you all. I’ll tell Vince you gave a shout out to him.

  9. 1) Make damn sure her clothes don’t wear out.

    2) Tie her to a coconut tree and then go try to make some bleach to wash your hands with.

    Then, make a bow and arrow and shoot one at her every time she doesn’t answer your questions. But don’t kill her until you get the full confession.

  10. I would convince her the adjacent island is full of naked virginal hula girls who have found pirates treasures of gold, diamonds, rare gems, and don’t know what to do with them, so it is worth the swim over. Just take some chum with her to feed the great whites circling the island. Then load her burqa with rocks; she will probably never notice the extra 200 lbs. If she does, tell her it’s ballast.

  11. Gilligan: Hey Skipper!
    Skipper: Yes, Gilligan?
    Gilligan: There’s a lady washed up on the shore and she doesn’t look happy.
    Skipper: I think she’s a Kuppakai Head Hunter who loves to eat people. Don’t worry, Little Buddy, the professor has figured out a way to use all of her medical devices to get us off of the island.
    Gilligan: Whew,cuz I thought she might try and steal my coconut crème pie!

  12. Bring up all her scandals continuously until she has one of her seizures. Crack open my only beer. Watch. Repeat as necessary.

  13. I’d just wait. Without her army of handlers she won’t last 48 hours. The only question is what would get her first: the stroke, the seizure, or injury from a ground-level fall.

  14. With my luck, it would be an island so small I couldn’t be rid of that horrid voice, plus twice a day the island would disappear at high tide. So, I’d climb the only tree, strap myself in and wait for high tide to wash her out to sea. If she tried to hang onto my tree, I’d throw coconuts at her.

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