Got on board a westbound seven forty-seven
Didn’t think before deciding what to do
Ooh, that talk of opportunities, tv breaks and movies
Rang true, sure rang true…
Seems it never rains in Australia
Seems I’ve often heard that kind of talk before
It never rains in Australia, but girl, don’t they warn ya?
It pours, man, it pours
W/ apologies to Albert Hammond
“Do you know a person like this?”
I spent 5 years in the Arctic at Prudhoe Bay….I worked with a guy that said the air was thinner there since it was so far North.
He didn’t last long
Yes. I was working an office job drawing plats and water line maps for an engineering firm one day when I mentioned to one of the drafters that it was raining. His reply was, “outside?”
I had a guy like that in my squad in basic training. He was caught outside in a Georgia thunderstorm and stood there looking up in wonderment at all the bright flashes of light in the sky. He forgot to close his mouth and drowned. True story! (-:
I do. A black guy at the gym (suspected state or federal employee). This morning he was on his soap box explaining why black people don’t trust the police and why the Fergeson Jurry was all Fxcked up. According to this guy Police were invented by white people right after the Imancipation Proclomation because white folks were afraid former slaves would band together and rape, pillage, and riot. So I said “Well” with a shrug of my shoulders. He left. Now I’m the asshole of the gym, again.
I know a lady who once told me that the reason it is so much drier now is that people don’t hang their clothes outside to dry. (they dry them in the clothes drier) Thus the humidity is lower and rain clouds can’t form.
Yes Mika Dumbitcky on Morning Joe MSNBC
‘Posted by anon’
Another reason those ‘anonymous’ on this site need to take the 0.00038 yocto seconds to create a goddamn screen-name!
@Frank – But 97% of climate scientists say that the lady’s right.
And Oh I forgot. It rains counter clock wise in Australia
Watch it Moe!
@Moe Tom, if you watch MessNBC for more than 2 seconds in any one week your place in heaven is assured.
I think I need Scotch. 😉
I feel like I’m in ‘liberal land’.
My Ex wife told me the car was pulling to the right so I sent her to the tire shop to have the winter air replaced in the right tire with summer air. Since winter air is more dense than the summer air, that would cause that kind of problem. She believed me and went to have it fixed the next day. She said she argued with the guy about the price of an allignment over something as simple as changing the air. She diddnt talk to me for a week. Divorced three months later. Hehehe.
I only see Mika when she’s on IOTW, jabbering
imadjack. Cheers.
I once heard of a race track in France….where the women don’t wear pants……..
And I thought the earth was flat.
@Herd Mentality, well it is my neighborhood.
And here I always thought that Australia was a rumor. Maybe I’d better get out more and turn
off MSNBC.
Ah, this is what Joey Biden does in his spare time.
Yes…and he happens to be a Commiecrat.
No one ever believes this story when I tell it. I was pumping gas for my hummer when a lady pulled in under the canopy. It was pouring rain and her car was making a sound like nails on a chalk board. I looked at her car and both wiper blades were gone. But they were running full speed.
She gets out and comes over and asks me what that sound was. I said you don’t have wipers. She said yes I do. I can see them. I said no, you have wiper arms but no blades.
She still did not understand so I showed her my car.
It took a while but she seemed to understand. She got back in and drove away wipers still set on high.
I believe you DoIWin,
I told a girlfriend not to turn the headlights on BEFORE starting the car.
She said it didn’t hurt because the lights run off the battery but the car runs off the engine.
*sigh*, she DID have a nice rack…
I know someone who doesn’t understand why the tides still work when the moon isn’t there.
I said, “Huh?”
Her: “Yeah. The moon isn’t out in the daytime, so why are there tides? Doesn’t the moon pull the water and that makes the tide?”
Her brother and I are still laughing. I don’t think she has forgiven us yet.
People like that flock to Twitter and Yahoo Answers. Sometimes it’s more entertaining than the Amazon Reviews.
I have three.
In the bygone days of minimal hard drive space, I once spoke to a woman who thought that if she changed the font size in all of her documents to 6 points, it would take up less space on the disk. Her boyfriend agreed with her. (That’s two.)
A co-worker couldn’t understand why her computer wouldn’t power on. I told her there was no wall outlet close and she would have to get a power strip with a much longer cord. She said she had already plugged it in. I looked under her desk and the power strip was plugged into itself.
I’m not a drinking man but when I got home after those two incidents, a drink was necessary.
Classic brilliance from the scholars on the “View”.
Unbelievable! Sometime, it’s difficult to believe people are this dumb.
I told someone I was an engineer when asked what I do for a living.
They asked if I drove for Amtrak, so of course I said yes.
A fellow oilfield type explained international flight paths this way: “Dem planes gotta fly ovah d’nort pole because goin around dat equatah they be slung into outer space from de ert’s spinnin too fass. If I’m lyin I’m dyin!”
Yes, he was of Acadian ancestry. Oh, hell yes he was serious. Yes, he was also drain bammaged from working in the oil patch. Yes, I still wave to Santa Clause every long-haul flight I take and smile thinking about this nitwit.
Mudbug…perhaps your Acadian friend made that comment due to the lack of oxygen. After all, doesn’t the wind blow west to east?
30 years ago I was on a range in Germany firing 155 mm howitzers. The No.9 cannoneer started bitching because he was outside the gun and getting rained on. He kept hoping they would stop calling fire missions so the rain would stop. When asked what checking our fire would accomplish, he explained in all seriousness that it was raining because we were firing shells through the low clouds.
When I worked at E. F. Hutton in the 1980s there was a secretary who couldn’t understand why no one at a company in San Francisco was picking up the phone when it was 9:30.
“Because it’s 6:30 there,” I told her. “They’re probably just waking up right around now.”
She simply did not understand how New York could be three hours fast on San Francisco. The following day, I brought a soccer ball and a flashlight to work so I could illustrate the concept of time zones to her the way my second-grade teacher had to me in 1965.
“because we were firing shells through the low clouds” Actually, he said “we were shooting holes through the clouds”
Funny how ones mind remembers stupid comments, even after many years.
Too many to list here but here are two at opposite ends of my life.
I was 17 and on my way to school riding shotgun in my GFs car in Lake Geneva Wi. and part of the route faced the morning sun directly. With the salt on the road and the snow-melt making a salty mist, the windshield had become lightly coated with a white film by the time we had reached that stretch of the road.
As we drove into the sun the windshield lit up like a white movie screen and you could hardly make anything out through it.
“Hit the wipers with the wash fluid so we can see.” I said. I was wondering why she hadn’t already.
“No! It keeps the sun from hitting my eyes!” We broke up before Christmas. There was too much of that for my liking. Only GF ever w/ big boobs, but that wasn’t enough.
—-
Last year, a tenant, at a place I was servicing, was animated about how her Grandma didn’t believe in Global Warming.
Having all of 3 minutes to spare in my day I assessed her as too far gone and with too little time to fully engage her, so as I worked, I lightly referenced the political solutions as the real meaning of the movement but I went straight to talking about practical solutions to using less energy – which is the ‘sin’ being targeted.
I started off with saying I think if all roofs were metal, the a/c systems in Texas wouldn’t have to work so hard. It’s amazing how much difference it makes when the a/c doesn’t have to fight it so much – like how an underground house uses less energy to be cool.
She gave the same level of animation in reaction to that: “But then all that energy from the sun is reflected back into the sky and you have even more Global Warming!”
Hoo boy.
It was time to move on. No fertile ground to till and plant seeds of wisdom.
??? Well if the top of the world shields Australia from the rain, how do the people keep from falling off? Question must have been submitted by Cher, who Sonny said believed the moon was part of the sun…..
@Jinks, we always change the winter/summer air in our tires. Otherwise, we’d never remember to check the pressure…. like the reason for Daylight Saving Time is to remember to change to batteries in the smoke detectors and thermostats.
I worked on a loading dock in Chicago and there was an older bachelor there who had just saved up enough money to buy a color TV (this was 1972). He was bragging about how much money he was saving on his electric bill by turning the ‘color’ knob all the way down so it was black and white only…
via crazy lazy silly
Yes and they all voted for Obama.
Got on board a westbound seven forty-seven
Didn’t think before deciding what to do
Ooh, that talk of opportunities, tv breaks and movies
Rang true, sure rang true…
Seems it never rains in Australia
Seems I’ve often heard that kind of talk before
It never rains in Australia, but girl, don’t they warn ya?
It pours, man, it pours
W/ apologies to Albert Hammond
“Do you know a person like this?”
I spent 5 years in the Arctic at Prudhoe Bay….I worked with a guy that said the air was thinner there since it was so far North.
He didn’t last long
Yes. I was working an office job drawing plats and water line maps for an engineering firm one day when I mentioned to one of the drafters that it was raining. His reply was, “outside?”
I had a guy like that in my squad in basic training. He was caught outside in a Georgia thunderstorm and stood there looking up in wonderment at all the bright flashes of light in the sky. He forgot to close his mouth and drowned. True story! (-:
I do. A black guy at the gym (suspected state or federal employee). This morning he was on his soap box explaining why black people don’t trust the police and why the Fergeson Jurry was all Fxcked up. According to this guy Police were invented by white people right after the Imancipation Proclomation because white folks were afraid former slaves would band together and rape, pillage, and riot. So I said “Well” with a shrug of my shoulders. He left. Now I’m the asshole of the gym, again.
I know a lady who once told me that the reason it is so much drier now is that people don’t hang their clothes outside to dry. (they dry them in the clothes drier) Thus the humidity is lower and rain clouds can’t form.
Yes Mika Dumbitcky on Morning Joe MSNBC
‘Posted by anon’
Another reason those ‘anonymous’ on this site need to take the 0.00038 yocto seconds to create a goddamn screen-name!
@Frank – But 97% of climate scientists say that the lady’s right.
And Oh I forgot. It rains counter clock wise in Australia
Watch it Moe!
@Moe Tom, if you watch MessNBC for more than 2 seconds in any one week your place in heaven is assured.
I think I need Scotch. 😉
I feel like I’m in ‘liberal land’.
My Ex wife told me the car was pulling to the right so I sent her to the tire shop to have the winter air replaced in the right tire with summer air. Since winter air is more dense than the summer air, that would cause that kind of problem. She believed me and went to have it fixed the next day. She said she argued with the guy about the price of an allignment over something as simple as changing the air. She diddnt talk to me for a week. Divorced three months later. Hehehe.
I only see Mika when she’s on IOTW, jabbering
imadjack. Cheers.
I once heard of a race track in France….where the women don’t wear pants……..
And I thought the earth was flat.
@Herd Mentality, well it is my neighborhood.
And here I always thought that Australia was a rumor. Maybe I’d better get out more and turn
off MSNBC.
Ah, this is what Joey Biden does in his spare time.
Yes…and he happens to be a Commiecrat.
No one ever believes this story when I tell it. I was pumping gas for my hummer when a lady pulled in under the canopy. It was pouring rain and her car was making a sound like nails on a chalk board. I looked at her car and both wiper blades were gone. But they were running full speed.
She gets out and comes over and asks me what that sound was. I said you don’t have wipers. She said yes I do. I can see them. I said no, you have wiper arms but no blades.
She still did not understand so I showed her my car.
It took a while but she seemed to understand. She got back in and drove away wipers still set on high.
I believe you DoIWin,
I told a girlfriend not to turn the headlights on BEFORE starting the car.
She said it didn’t hurt because the lights run off the battery but the car runs off the engine.
*sigh*, she DID have a nice rack…
I know someone who doesn’t understand why the tides still work when the moon isn’t there.
I said, “Huh?”
Her: “Yeah. The moon isn’t out in the daytime, so why are there tides? Doesn’t the moon pull the water and that makes the tide?”
Her brother and I are still laughing. I don’t think she has forgiven us yet.
People like that flock to Twitter and Yahoo Answers. Sometimes it’s more entertaining than the Amazon Reviews.
I have three.
In the bygone days of minimal hard drive space, I once spoke to a woman who thought that if she changed the font size in all of her documents to 6 points, it would take up less space on the disk. Her boyfriend agreed with her. (That’s two.)
A co-worker couldn’t understand why her computer wouldn’t power on. I told her there was no wall outlet close and she would have to get a power strip with a much longer cord. She said she had already plugged it in. I looked under her desk and the power strip was plugged into itself.
I’m not a drinking man but when I got home after those two incidents, a drink was necessary.
Classic brilliance from the scholars on the “View”.
http://youtu.be/UkrkaH_V7fE .
Unbelievable! Sometime, it’s difficult to believe people are this dumb.
I told someone I was an engineer when asked what I do for a living.
They asked if I drove for Amtrak, so of course I said yes.
A fellow oilfield type explained international flight paths this way: “Dem planes gotta fly ovah d’nort pole because goin around dat equatah they be slung into outer space from de ert’s spinnin too fass. If I’m lyin I’m dyin!”
Yes, he was of Acadian ancestry. Oh, hell yes he was serious. Yes, he was also drain bammaged from working in the oil patch. Yes, I still wave to Santa Clause every long-haul flight I take and smile thinking about this nitwit.
Mudbug…perhaps your Acadian friend made that comment due to the lack of oxygen. After all, doesn’t the wind blow west to east?
30 years ago I was on a range in Germany firing 155 mm howitzers. The No.9 cannoneer started bitching because he was outside the gun and getting rained on. He kept hoping they would stop calling fire missions so the rain would stop. When asked what checking our fire would accomplish, he explained in all seriousness that it was raining because we were firing shells through the low clouds.
When I worked at E. F. Hutton in the 1980s there was a secretary who couldn’t understand why no one at a company in San Francisco was picking up the phone when it was 9:30.
“Because it’s 6:30 there,” I told her. “They’re probably just waking up right around now.”
She simply did not understand how New York could be three hours fast on San Francisco. The following day, I brought a soccer ball and a flashlight to work so I could illustrate the concept of time zones to her the way my second-grade teacher had to me in 1965.
“because we were firing shells through the low clouds” Actually, he said “we were shooting holes through the clouds”
Funny how ones mind remembers stupid comments, even after many years.
Too many to list here but here are two at opposite ends of my life.
I was 17 and on my way to school riding shotgun in my GFs car in Lake Geneva Wi. and part of the route faced the morning sun directly. With the salt on the road and the snow-melt making a salty mist, the windshield had become lightly coated with a white film by the time we had reached that stretch of the road.
As we drove into the sun the windshield lit up like a white movie screen and you could hardly make anything out through it.
“Hit the wipers with the wash fluid so we can see.” I said. I was wondering why she hadn’t already.
“No! It keeps the sun from hitting my eyes!” We broke up before Christmas. There was too much of that for my liking. Only GF ever w/ big boobs, but that wasn’t enough.
—-
Last year, a tenant, at a place I was servicing, was animated about how her Grandma didn’t believe in Global Warming.
Having all of 3 minutes to spare in my day I assessed her as too far gone and with too little time to fully engage her, so as I worked, I lightly referenced the political solutions as the real meaning of the movement but I went straight to talking about practical solutions to using less energy – which is the ‘sin’ being targeted.
I started off with saying I think if all roofs were metal, the a/c systems in Texas wouldn’t have to work so hard. It’s amazing how much difference it makes when the a/c doesn’t have to fight it so much – like how an underground house uses less energy to be cool.
She gave the same level of animation in reaction to that: “But then all that energy from the sun is reflected back into the sky and you have even more Global Warming!”
Hoo boy.
It was time to move on. No fertile ground to till and plant seeds of wisdom.
??? Well if the top of the world shields Australia from the rain, how do the people keep from falling off? Question must have been submitted by Cher, who Sonny said believed the moon was part of the sun…..
@Jinks, we always change the winter/summer air in our tires. Otherwise, we’d never remember to check the pressure…. like the reason for Daylight Saving Time is to remember to change to batteries in the smoke detectors and thermostats.
I worked on a loading dock in Chicago and there was an older bachelor there who had just saved up enough money to buy a color TV (this was 1972). He was bragging about how much money he was saving on his electric bill by turning the ‘color’ knob all the way down so it was black and white only…