I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY WITH NO MEN AND WOMEN! – IOTW Report

I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY WITH NO MEN AND WOMEN!

AWD read today the City University of Nueva Jork is hereby forbidding the use of any and all “gendered salutations” like ‘Mister’ and ‘Mrs’ lest anyone who doesn’t have a wiener or cookie be offended. Yeah, that “it” over there.

he she

Note to ungendered students at CUNY: if you haven’t figured out if you have a man thing or a female tingly part below the belt, being offended is the least of your worries. Also, I’m not so sure you should be wasting your time and our tax dollars on college, either, Junior/Missy.

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33 Comments on I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY WITH NO MEN AND WOMEN!

  1. When having your picture taken on a staircase is perceived as a “micro aggression” by someone you’ve never even met viewing the photo from their wheelchair, for instance, it’s hard to argue that we’re not totally fucked as a society.

    I mean, where do you go from there?

  2. HeteroMonogamy is under attack because it is the original governmental institution. Genderlessness by contrast would be the antithesis of this IDEAL. To those that would agree with the above statement, keep shining THAT light.

  3. On the bright side….

    You won’t ever be ‘bitch slapped’ again; you won’t be allowed to cry like a little girl; you can’t ever be told to, “grow a pair”; you won’t be accused of being light in the loafers; never be told to, “man up,” etc…

    I’m just trying to figure out how to say my favorite phrase and be gender neutral, “I hope you don’t kiss your mother with that mouth.”

  4. “I hope you don’t kiss your mother with that mouth.” in NewSpeak?

    First, you are assuming they even have a mother instead of 3 or 4 fathers, but I’ll offer this:

    “I hope you don’t kiss your parental units with that mouth”

    Oh, wait…what if they want to marry their birthing unit or units?

  5. The Man Test!

    Take this simple test to determine what you are made of…

    1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

    A. Lovemaking.
    B. Screwing.
    C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

    2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:

    A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
    B. Your blood-test results.
    C. Five tequila slammers.

    3. You always time your orgasm so that:

    A. Your partner climaxes first.
    B. You both climax simultaneously.
    C. You don’t miss ESPN Sports Center.

    4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

    A. Healthy, creative love-play.
    B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
    C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.

    5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you’ve just had sex with is:

    A. The best part of the experience.
    B. The second best part of the experience.
    C. $100 extra.

    6. Your wife/girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:

    A. Of no influence on your affection for her.
    B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
    C. A conservative estimate.

    7. You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:

    A. A myth.
    B. An oxymoron.
    C. A moron.

    8. Foreplay is to sex as:

    A. An appetizer is to an entree.
    B. Primer is to paint.
    C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

    9. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

    A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
    B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
    C. Shouldn’t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

    Evaluating Results:

    If you answered A more than 7 times, check inside your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.

    If you answered B more than 7 times, check into therapy. You’re a little confused.

    If you answered C more than 7 times, YOU DA MAN!

    h/t http://www.theospark.net

  6. Another way to keep us from focusing on ocommies, crimes, scandals, and impeachable offenses. Oh, and don’t let me forget the intentional damage he’s inflicting on our economy, destruction of our military, and impending bankruptcy.

  7. Please explain to me why 98-99% of society needs to twist itself into an organic, gluten-free pretzel trying to accommodate the other 1-2%, ’cause I’m not getting it. Especially when the 1-2% are MENTALLY ILL.

    Upside: This measure, for all its stupidity and illogic, at least gets rid of “Ms.,” an honorific that I have loathed since its introduction some 40+ years ago. To this day, I refuse to open mail addressed to “Ms. Greetings F. Yonkers” on the grounds that such person does not exist.

  8. @Onward Paul:

    HeteroMonogamy is under attack because it is the original governmental institution.

    You are mistaken; it is no higher than fourth. The first three in both importance and history are murder, theft, and slavery.

  9. Chief, lMhairymansAO! Menderman, Thanks but I think I’ll keep using the old non-pc sayings. 😉 There’s just too many classics to make their heads explode and so the meaning isn’t lost.

    Like the one my Pop would say when we were in earshot if he was working on something and would try not to cuss when he busted his knuckles. “OH BALLS said the Queen! If I had two, I’d be the f@&$ing KING!” We all knew it was time to walk softly away. 🙂

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