I’ve been reading Popular Mechanics again. I checked their back issues, just to be certain, and indeed, men used to work there once upon a time. I think men used to read it, too, not just women who wave it under their boyfriend’s nose while saying, “See, Orlando Bloom can defrag a hardrive while giving a foot massage, what’s your problem?”
I thought that I could help. Lend a hand, like a narcoleptic at a bandsaw, as they say. I am, after all, the Manliest Man on the Intertunnel. I know Lawrence of Arabia once brought a horde of Bedouins out of the Nefud Desert, but I once brought a man out of a wine cellar four times in an hour-and-a-half. Seriously.
Since the Dos Equis guy got ten minutes older and now he’s just another guy in the nursing home, I thought I should step up to the plate and offer the youngsters some guidance on what makes a Manly Man. It’s not enough that they should learn simply from studying Freddie Mercury posters while listening to Black Oak Arkansas records. I mean, that’s pretty manly stuff, and it’s a good start and all, but this is Graduate School for Pheromones, baby. Here’s my 25 Manly Things Every Manly Man Should Know How To Do:
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Hey, I know what that cologne is … Snuff by Schiaparelli.
Mooch has a bigger package.
Not to brag or anything, but I have done all of them. Especially your mother–Twice.
pretty stupid.
Eleanor, I swear it was not I who leaked that photo of Uncle Elmo, Hyde Park’s gayest weightlifter. I swear!
Sure. You’re full of sh!t. I overheard you and Lucifer laughing about how you hacked the Cloud a couple of days ago. 😮 👿
Ruined by progressives
Just spent the last 45 minutes checking out that site.
Thanks for the detour!
I found the tick that had Lyme disease or actually it found
me:-(. You don’t want it…pure hell. Actually now for me all ticks have them…..
You’re not doing that right, Barky…
http://tinyurl.com/ob3n454
Flash cubes…I had forgotten all about those. My sister and I used to make Christmas tree ornaments out of the spent ones.
Is that, that “Fart in the wind guy”?
Build a vagina. (you know, for when there is a shortage)
Feed, clothe, and shelter a family for a lifetime …
or two.
Sipp must have been sorely exasperated by something. Must have been a recent issue of Popular Femchanics.
@Tim, is that two lifetimes,
or two families?
“•Drink from the skull of your vanquished enemies — If you’re currently battling a squirrel in the attic, it’s more of a shot glass thing.”
Hey BFH, one of your friends over at the Cube ain’t gonna like that.