These Rides Are Not Chick Magnets – IOTW Report

These Rides Are Not Chick Magnets

Tuesday, 1 April 2014, 21:15 BFH Home 0

Clash Daily

Guys love cars. That’s what makes the following cars so shameful – they have betrayed the basic compact between man and his car. And that is that a man will take care of his car, love it, feed it, maybe even give it a nice buffing every once in a while, and it return the car will do its best not to make him look like a huge dork.

1971-76 Ford Pinto

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It’s not so much that the Pinto looks lame – although, let’s face it, it’s not exactly rolling with its badass brother, the Mustang, in the looks department – it’s that, well, there’s a good chance you will blow up and die the first time you’re rear-ended, which, believe it or not, isn’t as sexy as it sounds.
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59 Comments on These Rides Are Not Chick Magnets

  3. I had 4 pintos and 1 wife (now of 32 years)
    If you drive a pinto and she stays — she’s a keeper.

    These things were cheap and easy to fix. The dollar per mile ratio on the pintos was better than any other car ever built. I would buy a pinto for a couple of hundred bucks and drive for years.

  4. Why not? I always thought if a guy has a clean well kept car, it didn’t really matter what the hell he drove. Its not the size of the engine, its where he takes you!

  6. Off topic but I just heard an 8.2 earthquake hit Chile and there is a tsunami warning already for the entire Pacific. Check out SevereNjweather on FB.

  7. My friend had this same exact model and color. It got us from point A to point B. It wasn’t the car that got the chicks. It was the pot we carried. Priorities.

  8. About the earthquake…I actually have had this page up all day…but check it out:

    http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/map/#%7B%22feed%22%3A%221day_all%22%2C%22search%22%3Anull%2C%22sort%22%3A%22newest%22%2C%22basemap%22%3A%22grayscale%22%2C%22autoUpdate%22%3Atrue%2C%22restrictListToMap%22%3Atrue%2C%22timeZone%22%3A%22local%22%2C%22mapposition%22%3A%5B%5B4.239485461322005%2C-176.60917282104492%5D%2C%5B68.34345960490668%2C-40.02714157104492%5D%5D%2C%22overlays%22%3A%7B%22plates%22%3Atrue%7D%2C%22viewModes%22%3A%7B%22map%22%3Atrue%2C%22list%22%3Atrue%2C%22settings%22%3Afalse%2C%22help%22%3Afalse%7D%7D

  9. What, no Yugos. Or Citroens, Puegeots, Renaults, only if you want to attract French chicks. And what can you say about Isetta’s except that they’re the ultimate clown car as well as the ultimate slug buggie. If you see an Isetta it means you can’t ever be slugged again. And where’s Chevy’s biggest POS the Chevy Vega? And 1949 Nash’s are butt ugly as well.

  10. This article qualifies as one of the top…um…17 laziest articles ever written about anything. Ever.

    “Pinto, Pacer, old timey horse car and Yurrupeon classic worth 40K, all suck.”

    That about cover it?

  11. I’d take a Pinto over a Mustang II or a K Car any day. Truth be told, most American cars built between ’71 and ’94 were total crap. There were a lot of truly shitty cars in that era, and the Pinto was hardly the ugliest. Some examples:

    AMC Pacer
    Chevy Chevette
    Chevy Citation
    Cadillac Cimmaron

  12. I did have a semi-chick magnet ride–an Opel GT.
    It looked like a pint-sized Corvette Sting Ray.

    It was a pocket rocket with a peppy 4-banger but had a rotten Solex carburetor and had stalling problems.

    I had to ride in it’s ‘back seat’ (shelf) one time.
    I had a panic claustrophobia attack.

  13. Had a ’62 Corvair 2.3cc, had a ’61 283 Impala, had a ’67 Camaro 396 w/ dual Holley carbs, had a ’68 Torino, 351, had a ’69 Chevelle 396.

    Got married & all I could afford, much to my shame, was a ’70 Ford Maverick w/ 200 ‘roaring’ cubic inch displacement. A drunk driver ran a red light and T-boned me directly behind the driver’s seat and destroyed it.

    Thank you Insurance! Got a ’70 LTD w/ a 400 Cleveland and cruised (this was back in the day when 70 mph was the posted speed limit; so 80 mph was the norm; nirvana!)

  22. I, a girlie, drove a Renault 4CV, and it was probably the cheapest thing to run on earth. This was the late 60s and I ran around all week on a couple of bucks worth of gas. Remember the gas prices back then, if you were alive? Like 19 cents a gallon.
    Plenty of guys wanted to buy the thing out from under me.

  23. About the cars…

    I think that is the exact same Pacer I drove for drivers ed in ’78!

    and another thing about ugly cars…I pulled up my F-250 4 X 4 to a convertible Miata with the top down at a stop light yesterday, so I crept up very, very close. My bumper was way higher than the trunk lid. The guy that was driving the car was looking OVER the windshield. I saw him eyeballing me in his rear view mirror, so I flashed my lights at him…He through both arms in the air in a “Y” like he was doing the “YMCA” dance..so I crept closer…I could see his grin in his mirror!. The light changed and he put that little skateboard in the high speed mode! I responded by using 6 of my eight cylinders to stay on his ass and did so for at least a mile! He signaled to turn right on a side street but the car in front of him stopped to turn left so he had to stop again, so I crept up very close once again. This time the giant man in the Miata put both hands up like he was signaling a touchdown but he had both thumbs up! So once again I flashed the lights at his grin in his smirking at me in his mirror. He made his turn, I went on my way, both of us happy for the short lived fun.

    Now for the rest of the story….

    The giant man driving the little skateboard is a highly decorated special forces Marine that has been in places he can’t talk about in public. The midget in the F-250 behind him has known him for 20 years…and we are friends. Sometimes he will approach me in front of total strangers and “start shit”, so I bow up and dare him to “fight like a man”! The look on the innocent bystanders is priceless! I do tell “Fred” that he does scare me a bit when he does that…so he gives me a bear hug and says “don’t worry brother, you know I love you”…and when I can finally breathe again, I tell “Fred”, I love you too man!

    BTW, “Fred” is a Cuban immigrant…and one of the best people on this planet!

  25. It took balls to drive a Pinto….I had one for three years in college, and this was at Texas A&M!

    I remember when I bought it. I told my dad “Pop, I need a car..” He replied “How much can you afford?” “Not much” I replied.

    “Well, I guess you aren’t getting much car then, are you?”

    This from a man who spent 26 years in the Marines…I spent $800 on it and thought it was all the money in the world…

  26. As a young military family in the late 70’s, our first brand new car was a Pinto Pony. We were so happy! When we traded it in a few years later, we got more than we paid for it….which probably means we were ripped of on the ”new” car. Good times!

  28. Basically, any car manufactured after ’75 was a POS. That’s when Dick Nixon’s EPA started getting into the act & created all sorts of ‘ugly girl’ regulations.

    ‘Oooo, all the hot chicks get to ride in cool cars; let’s ban them.’

  32. C’mon, ain’t anybody got a totally tits ride right now? I’m eyeballing a 59′ Ford pickup but that may not happen for weeks yet. Someone on here must have a fire breathing monster in their garage.

    sigh…Yurropeon sexiness qualifies as well.

  33. What hapenned to the gas mileage?

    Back in Oct 1977 I bought a Datsun B210+ and got 33 mpg in the city and 44 hwy. It advertised as 38 city and 50 hwy.

    I could only imagine a greater mileage after all these years. I truly expected 50-100 mpg by this time (2014)

    I was quite upset @ 2004 when I realized my GF’s car weighed more yet got WAY better gas mileage – same year – same maker, Ford.

    My ’99 Ranger never got to 20 mpg at any time – even downhill without the motor on… – and her ’99 Taurus never got less than 23 in the city and 28 Hwy – many times @ 30 hwy.

    The Taurus weighed more every second of its existence, too. 3,329 lbs Taurus vs 3,030 lbs Ranger. Why would such a common, useful, lighter vehicle like a Ranger truck perform so poorly by comparison?

    Intentional?

    What happened to the technology curve? It’s friggin` 2014 fer crying out loud. We should be flying by now! We already have Dick Tracy’s wrist-watch video communicator and the “Lasso of truth”!

    Wait, maybe that last one is next year’s tech release. I get these top secret releases mixed up all the time.

  34. At 19 years of age, in 1973, my boss asked me if I wanted to buy his wife’s 1966 Pontiac GTO. I was honored that he even asked me, but told him I could never afford it. He said he’d let me have it for $700, and let me pay it off at $100 per month. The car was a cherry and I could not believe my good fortune. What a thrill it was to cruise around in that gorgeous, 8 MPG rocket sled. (gas was only 21.9 cents per gallon) I was forced to sell it, as I joined the Air Force and got orders to go to England for three years. Dang, I miss that car!

  35. Burropoly,

    I got a ’96 F-250 with a 350 suspension, rusty steel rims and a huge V-8. Dark Green with a matching fiberglass top, clearance lights (two work, three don’t, looks like horns on a horny toad) Big steel bumpers with a rod rack on the front and a hitch on the back, black wall Michelins with 70K+ miles on them with 20 pounds of air in them for driving on the beach. Kids that aren’t as old as the truck think it is the sexiest truck in town because it looks strong and manly…and it is.

  36. I’ve been fortunate enough to drive bad ass cars. Cars that will force you to leave pinch marks is you seat. (well, maybe some of that was me). But the biggest Chick magnets I’ve ever driven have always been trucks.

  41. RANDO:

    My list is shorter, and in order.

    1970 A body 340 Mopar. (11 second Car)
    1969 z28
    750 Eurotrash BMW. Hit the 160 mph limiter a couple times up highway 5.

    I was fortunate to have been able to own any of them.

  43. My first car:

    1971 Plymouth Satellite Sebring
    318 2bbl (Swapped it out for an 800cfm ThermoQuad. Oh yeah!)
    904 Torqueflite 3-in-the-tree automatic
    Bench seats (!)
    A/C, P/S, P/B, front discs
    19 mpg — after a new timing chain
    Wish I still had it.

  44. I learned to drive a stick shift in an old Pinto that my dad brought home one day. He bought it off some guy at his work for $200. (My step mother was horrified – it was the second one he bought).
    I was only 14 and got stuck a lot on hills. It was a good excuse to ask the cute boys up the street to come and rescue me. They were very obliging (:

  46. No ones’ currently wearing an ass grove in a classic ride? Oh well.

    Randos’ got excellent taste in vehicles though. 53 F100, nice. I had a 54 and then a 62 Chevy. Never fixed up an old Ford before.

    I did own a goofball VW ‘Thing’ in H.S. however. My first exposure to an import. I felt embarrassed for Yurrup. It was fun to drive though.

    If I ever gain all the necessary skills, I mean really master the detail work, the dream car would be a 39′ Ford. Those are just tuff.

  47. My mom bought me a used AMC Pacer when I got my first job after college. Her heart was in the right place. It was comfortable and visibility was great. The only problem was, it had a nasty tendency to stop (engine shutdown) while going 70 mph on the freeway – in the fast lane. I had to pray there was enough room to pull over in the center divider. I learned to drive in the slow lane. It took months for various mechanics to figure out the problem. I was never so glad to get rid of a car.

  48. AMC also made the Gremlin. It was available with their 406 big block. Damn fast car. They produced the Javelin with the 390, and the AMX with the 406. A real damn fast car. I’m gathering data from the way back machine, but I beleive that to be correct. I was all MOPAR back then.

  51. My first “car” was a 1946 GMC truck. Paid $15.00 for it in 1964.
    Upgraded to a 1929 Model A Ford. (still have that one)
    1955 Chevy 2-door sedan
    1961 Chevy Bubble top Bel Air
    1967 Mustang Fastback 289 with a 4 speed
    1972 Olds Cutlass convertible
    1971 Pinto Hatch-back 2000 motor with a 4-speed, actually liked it.
    1969 Olds Cutlass 442 clone
    1948 Chevy Aero Sedan
    1995 Chevy S-10
    1996 Dodge Ram Pick-up
    1926 Model T coupe (2- because 1 just isn’t enough)
    1925 Model T Touring Car
    1936 LaSalle Coupe
    1937 LaSalle 4-Door Sedan
    1941 Chevy Pick-Up
    2010 Hyundai Elantra (Mrs Galt’s ride)

    The last 7 on the list we still have. There have been an assortment of “newer” cars (all bought used) from the 1970’s and 1980’s that were just basic transportation. Most on the list I wish I still had, but I ran out of room a few cars ago as it is.

  52. old_oaks, I had some friends who tricked out their Pintos for serious parking lot slalom-racing. Those Pintos were anything but stock, and very badass. No problems getting chicks in ths passenger seat–which was about the only thing left inside those cars.

  54. European survey… so it’s not REALLY a “GUY’S” survey to start with! 🙄

    Not to worry though – I have the ULTIMATE chick magnet-mobile: a lifted ’92 Dodge Ramcharger! >:->

  55. I dunno – my wing man in H.S. used to borrow his Dad’s cars and both were as lame as could be: ’54 Nash & ’55 Rambler station wagons. Hey, they got us to the chicks and didn’t take much gas.

    When he got his own car, a ’59 Ford Fairlane with a 312 CID police interceptor, then we were in the “fast” crowd. It had it’s drawbacks tho. He called his little girl friend one night to see if she could come out and play, but when we showed up from 30 miles away 15 minutes later, her Dad says, “You ARE NOT going anyplace with those boys in THAT CAR!!!”

  56. My first car was a 1967 Cougar XR7. Dark green with tan leather interior, wrap-around backseat. I LOVED THAT CAR! Older bro gave to me & older sister (took over payments) when he shipped out to Turkey. She was getting married so I had it all the time! I liked the looks but my boyfriend/then hubby liked the power of it. When we got married the parents took over payments (we couldn’t afford it, damn it!) and little bro got it. Of course he wrecked it. Got fixed but was not the same.

  57. I knew some aficionados were hiding around here somewhere.

    Boo2, my old man, Colonel Granpa’, had a yellow XR7G. He sold it because he had 4 sons and figured one of us would kill ourselves in it.

    It would have been worth it…

    But Rando and Galt…DAMN!!! Those are all nice toys. I can turn a wrench, but just on old trucks. They’re like erector sets. It’s simple. Some of your rides fill me with astonishment and envy.

    At some point the barn will be done and I’ll move the shovel head and hopefully this 59 that I don’t own yet into it.

    Fug, all this work just so I can have a place to get to work in.

    I love it!

  58. I forgot to mention my 1962 Triumph 650 that I made into a Copper in 1969. Still have that too. Even rode it last year after it sat since 1984. Scared the heck out of me but it was fun.

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