Avocados are sending people to the ER – IOTW Report

Avocados are sending people to the ER

SF Chronicle: Here’s another story to add to the negative avocado coverage: Beyond the skyrocketing costs and exorbitant avocado toast prices, avocados are also a ruiner of hands (for a select few).

The Times of London issued a public service announcement of sorts on avocado injuries, with physicians saying that the avocado’s rise in popularity has led to an increase in injuries. The Times called it a “global phenomenon.”

It seems that the avocado-eating masses are mishandling their fruit, resulting in a multitude of slash and/or stab wounds that have led to “serious nerve and tendon injuries, requiring intricate surgery.” In the most extreme cases, the Times reported that patients never regained full use of the injured hand. (In its coverage of avocado handling earlier this month, the New York Times stated the wife of one of its employees racked up a $20,000 hospital bill due to an avocado injury.)

Doctors in the U.K. have apparently dubbed the injuries “avocado hand.”  more here

40 Comments on Avocados are sending people to the ER

  1. “Try removing an avocado seed without cutting yourself.”

    It’s easy. Wash, pull out the remaining stem, slice vertically away from you, rotating the avocado slowly all the way around.

    Then pull the halves apart with your hands gently as possible.

    One half will have the stone and the other will be shelled.

    Chop the knife in the stone and twist the half of the avocado and the stone will pop out.

    It’s not bloody rocket science.

  2. The human species is evolving into divergent species, those who can take care of themselves and hopeless fucking idiots who only exist because the first group takes care of them.

  3. Haven’t read the article and don’t plan to, but my first instinct is that many people don’t know there’s a large pit inside as they attempt to cut it through. Who knows. We’ve gone through the Pretzel Bunning of everything, the Pumpkin Spicing of everything during the holidays, and lately the Avacado-ing of everything.

  4. I love avocados. Seriously, how stupid do you have to be to injure yourself with an avocado? I’d hate to see what these people do with a mango.

  5. I have been eating avocados and preparing them my entire life – okay, since I was a preteen – (so 50 years) and have never injured myself. It’s not that difficult. Are people really regressing that rapidly? It would seem so from what I have observed.

  6. Here’s what they can do.
    Lay the avocado down on the table, put the knife into it sideways and turn the avocado as the knife is hitting the seed. Put the fucking knife down. Open the avocado. Grab a spoon and work the seed out if it hasn’t popped out already. Then use the same spoon to shimmy the covering off the avocado, if it has not shimmied out on its own.

    Or download an avocado app. You know there’s one out there. lol

  7. First off, avocados are fucking disgusting, so if you cut yourself trying to open one, good. Go fuck yourself.

    Second, the only thing I get out of these articles is that people who like avocados are fucking morons.

  8. Face it, some people are just too fucking stupid to use a sharp instrument!

    And there are those who aren’t smart enough to realize some foods are high an antioxidants and make great guacamole!

  9. after you cut the avocado in half and remove the pit, take the knife and cut parallel slits through to the skin, then checkerboad the slits the other way. Then spoon out the squares. That is how chef’s do it, and cooks too (it’s not just the Indians with the good cooking tecniques)

  10. Is this an Onion story ? Iv’e eaten hundreds, and never considered cutting anything. I also had a British room mate and he also ate Avo’s daily & not a cut. He did escape England, so that could explain his Rare Talent.

  11. @ bastiches

    Good instructions.

    I do all except chop the knife into the seed. I poke the seed somewhat hard with the tip of a steak knife and usually the seed will just shake off the knife.

  12. Holy Crap, you cut the Avacagobin half with you favorite sharp knife, split the halves, take the same knife and slap it into the seed. Twist side ways. Dump the seeg in your trash compactor. Now grab a tablespoon.

  13. “Cilantro is just plain evil.”

    That’s it, you need to attend one of my feasts with smoked Flank Steak, Fresh Guacamole, Fresh Pico, Made with sweet onions, Vine Rippened Tomatoes, fresh cilantro, and a ton of Lime juice. You’ll dig it. We will in it’s the damn Me icams next door over. They live in a million dollar house and are as conservative as can be, but I always find something to bust their balls on. We have a good time.

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