Smoking Gun: A Florida man was found “covered from head to toe in pork fried rice and a red sauce” following an attack yesterday by his ex-girlfriend, according to cops who arrested the woman for domestic battery.
[She ain't even sorry]
Responding to a disturbance at the China No. 1 restaurant in Vero Beach, a sheriff’s deputy discovered Brian Kusmer, 31, wearing his lunch. Kusmer said that he was waiting for his former girlfriend, Samantha Wilson, to drop off the couple’s eight-year-old son (whose custody they share).
Lucky guy. It could’ve been kung POW! chicken or egg poo yung.
What a rngoon. I bet that hot rice put a spring roll in his step. That was a wonton act of violence. I bet she’s feeling pretty lo, mein. She threw it at him, sechuan witness. Sad, though, they are no longer Happy Family.
One from column A….
Tsk, tsk. Fifty years after Martin Luther Kung, and we are still dealing with ricism.
Luckily it wasn’t the splattered pu pu platter.
He is lucky she didn’t Al Green him with a pot of grits
It coulda been worse, he could have been wearing HER lunch, if ya know what I mean.
It coulda been worse, he coulda been wearing HER lunch…
Sum Ting Wong!
What’s her phone number, I can use a free meal.
She’s just reenacting the same restaurant scene from every chickflick/RomCom of the last 20 years.
She’s in prison learning how to play piano.
She can play chopsticks.
Instead of Peking, he should have Ducked.
She was apprehended at the corner of Chow and Mein.
The crime was not including any utensils with the meal.
It’s not the end of the story people, wait for the other egg to drop.
So, with her rap sheet (Child abuse? For Chrissakes) how come she has any kind of custody of her kid at all? Oh wait, I forgot, she has a VAGINA, that’s why.
Mmmm ….. pork fried rice!
Good thing she didn’t order one ton soup.