The Federalist: Our culture is so saturated with feminism that even conservatives and devoutly religious people like me think inside its wheel ruts. This wouldn’t be a problem, except that feminism is antithetical to human flourishing, both individually and corporately, because it has a false view of human nature.
No matter how the evidence piles up in heartbreak after heartbreak, many women continue to give themselves cognitive dissonance. We all want to believe that we’re exceptional, that patterns of human behavior don’t apply to us. That while bad things happened to other people who did the same things we are or want to, those bad things won’t happen to us, too. We’re special. We’re different.
Refusing to learn from history and experience only hardens people against the feedback from reality they need to make their lives better through smarter decisions. Thinking that the experience and wisdom of humans across time has a claim on our present behavior allows a form of troubleshooting and decisionmaking using billions of accumulated datapoints. Yes, it requires humility to consider whether your presuppositions and behavior are wrong, but what you may lose in feminist scorekeeping you reap a hundredfold in a richly happy life. How do I know? It’s happened to me.
The Day I Started Losing Feminism, I Saw a Positive Pregnancy Test
I got lucky, with an unintended and unwanted pregnancy. We were married, but I was devastated, because I had wanted to do what everyone says you should, and focus on my career right out of college. My husband and I called the baby our “fruitcake”: that present you get that nobody knows exactly what to do with. A finicky baby, he kept that nickname deservedly for his first two years. Now, it no longer fits him.
Over time I learned that I was distressed about this miracle when I should have been, and slowly became, deeply grateful. That little boy saved me, in ways that unfolded themselves slowly in my life, like a rare and precious flower. Another petal unfurled this week as I read two recent accounts from women I would be far more like if I had figured out faster how to keep my womb sterile, as I had planned.
A 35-year-old woman wrote The Cut’s advice columnist last month in great distress, and became one of its most-viewed stories of late. She embarked on life as a “creative,” cycling through West Coast cities and boyfriends in ways that may sound glamorous, but now she sees in retrospect has wasted her potential for creating a family.
I have no family nearby, no long-term relationship built on years of mutual growth and shared experiences, no children. While I make friends easily, I’ve left most of my friends behind in each city I’ve moved from while they’ve continued to grow deep roots: marriages, homeownership, career growth, community, families, children. I have a few close girlfriends, for which I am grateful, but life keeps getting busier and our conversations are now months apart. Most of my nights are spent alone with my cat (cue the cliché)…
My apathy is coming out in weird ways. I’m drinking too much, and when I do see my friends on occasion, I end up getting drunk and angry or sad or both and pushing them away. And with men I date, I feel pressure to make something of the relationship too soon (move in, get married, ‘I have to have kids in a couple of years’; fun times!). All the while still trying to be the sexpot 25-year-old I thought I was until what seemed like a moment ago.
I used to think I was the one who had it all figured out. Adventurous life in the city! Traveling the world! Making memories! Now I feel incredibly hollow. And foolish.
The advice columnist offered empathy and self-esteem talk, but did not recognize and validate this woman’s genuine loss. MORE
I’m thinking I may go back to being Bruce.
How do I forward her my number?….I can be a 25 year old sexpot too….I just need some fluids and a day of muscle cleansing massages…..and pot roast with roasted potatoes and root vegetables….
Personally I do feel rather bad for her; liberal ideals inevitably always hurt most those who should be Prospering i.e. feminism harming women. Women need to be in a marriage with children because it the natural intended role for them as ordained by God. Humans are created beings they are not evolved and the sooner we all understand that the better of we will be.
I’m thinking she was an unattractive fat pig. Have fun, good luck.
The Feminist Dream is like making it to the NFL – You spend you whole life on education and career only to end up a bored, frustrated, cog-in-the-wheel cube critter. Less than 1% achieve the spectacular career success and balanced family life.
I know, I work in the Corporate offices of the largest entertainment company in the world. Usually around 35 – 40 years of age the women get it, but then it’s too late. I hear this from both the Executives and cube critters alike.
We were married at age nineteen and still going strong. My grandkids love having their mommy around the house, and they love being there (most of the time).
The Gunny
Wow, you work for Porn Hub?
Funny Lunatic Fringe. Ask your mom, she will know. Ask if she ever notices me walking around near her webcam show.
The Gunny
She does. Some fat Ass naked guy, with no noticeable genitalia,
must have been you.
Lunatic Fringe
Must have confused me with your dad since I don’t work there.
I’m lucky I didn’t listen to Ms. magazine scaring me about juggling everything in my life. It is shocking to discover how many older women (from school) are not married and were never mothers. Most of the time that’s pretty sad. And btw later on it life I briefly stood next to Gloria Steinem at a book signing (I didn’t buy and didn’t go there to see her, but I gawked a few seconds) and she looked thin and miserable.
Oh, noes! Another tale of woe from the profoundly stupid.
“Feminism ruins women’s lives. What can be done?”
“How about all the feminism? With more feminist wymyn’s education. To make sure feminist wymyn will have happy lives.”
“Oh… and unicorn sprinkles.”
Now that she’s been a hundred guys’ saddle, she wants to snare some sucker who is not her first choice and who she will dump when she finds somebody ‘better.’ Run, boys.
MGTOW!
Many women who say they want commitment from a guy really mean they want a binding life time commitment from *him*, but she’s entitled to break that commitment for any reason or none. At any moment, she can insist that she’s not “fulfilled,” file for divorce, take the children, the house, the car and most of their savings as well as a big chunk of his income for the rest of his life, and she doesn’t even have to have any sensible and tangible reason. She just doesn’t feel “fulfilled,” that’s all.
Many women don’t grasp that the time and energy devoted to a career is time and energy that can’t be devoted to children and family life. Men had been aware of this for literally centuries before feminists incited women to pour into the work force in pursuit of some intangible gratification, an illusion that had never fooled men. Some people are fortunate to have careers that give them deep satisfaction, whereas for most people work is mainly something they do so that they will have the resources to do other things that are genuinely meaningful to them. Most people gain far more satisfaction from family and friends, religion, music and literature, the arts, sports and so forth than they will ever get from their jobs.
Feminism poisoned many women’s minds by convincing them that the workplace should be the main source of meaning in life.
FREE FREE FREE!
Free from the bondage of marriage, and slave to the kitchen, and chained to a home where you feed and take care of your kids all day.
Never have to worry about a life partner to be there for you, take care of you when you are sick, or your loving kids who will make crayon drawings of you to put on that slave-like refrigerator!
Nope. You are a strong independent woman capable of living your life as an unattached tumble-weed, or being a full-time slave as you claw your way up the corporate ladder to a meaningless end.
Enjoy!
She should take up smoking. Virginia Slims: You’ve come a long way baby!
Feminism is like the rest of the leftist propaganda: Rebel against tradition and conform to this ‘philosophy.’ It’s a jealous reaction to the false assumption that men are happy in their jobs, therefore we should have jobs and careers. It’s also a shallow and selfish approach to life, that assumes the point of our existence is to be ‘happy.’
I followed the links and read the article, and the letter, and the advice columnist’s dreadful advice, encouraging the lonely, debt-ridden, and directionless catwoman to embrace her shame and be an artist… As if the world needs more angry/depressing feminist art, or wallowing in it would somehow help this lost soul!
Then, I clicked on to the homepage of the website where this appeared: http://www.thecut.com
What a weird collection of articles! Most of the headlines were makeup or fashion or some other shallow consumerism, a lot of celebrity gossip, and a few bits of snarky leftist politics. This is where a 35 year old career woman seeks life advice from a feminist Dear Abby? Her outlook and life choices will improve the moment her reading material does.
@The Plutonium Kid December 13, 2018 at 4:45 am
> Men had been aware of this for literally centuries
I’mma come back to that…
> before feminists incited women to pour into the work force in pursuit of some intangible gratification,
Not feminists. Not even remotely “intangible” gratification. Women were not emancipated, into the “freedom” they yearn for. They were herded into “wage” slavery (the “wages” are illusory — the slavery is de jure).
> an illusion that had never fooled men.
“Look away. Look away. Look away, borderland.”
Not all men. Just most. Mostly most.
Now man up! Little Peter Pans! (And you MGTOWs… I can’ even.) Pay “your” bills! Pay “your” taxes! Make something of “yourselves”! (Subject to seizure by The Holy Mother State, according to “rules” subject to change without notice.) So you’ll be worthy of a good woman! (Yeah for de womens, that’s the ticket.)
Why…? It’s almost (but not quite… “of course”), like it’s a Plan. One Plan. A single algorithm. Grinding through new generations. Grinding through “different” feed stocks. The same way. With the same results. Every time. … Always fooling men. Well, at least enough to form a simple majority. And majority rules. (Yeah… some of you got that.)
BB, you could be right. She probably is unattractive. Especially on the inside. Most men have secret built in bitch detectors. Usually goes off within a minute of exposure to a feminist. To become socially involved with co worker feminist is inviting an inquisition from HR. Marriage would be brutal and ugly, divorce expensive. Children out of the question. In the unlikely event a feminist is attractive she is guaranteed to be a man repellent.
dee, Gloria Steinem brags about having an abortion instead of a child. I guess we should be grateful she didn’t take pictures of that.
Who says you need two years to recover from each baby? My mother had three in the space of 26 months, with me being the last. She was in her early thirties at the time. Of course, it probably helped that my Dad was a doctor, and his best pal was the leading OB-GYNer in town. I often wonder if the fact that he delivered all nine of Mom’s bouncing, bawling babies had anything to do with that.
Still in all, there definitely is a hazard in having children in such rapid succession, especially for the last baby …… as this and many other comments of mine clearly illustrate