Metro: Sorry caffeine lovers but coffee is not going to help you live for longer, according to Switzerland. The country has decided the raw bean isn’t essential for human survival and has announced plans to stop stockpiling it in the event of national health emergencies. It came after the government’s Federal Office said the bean doesn’t ‘safeguard nutrition’.
The country has had the legislation in place for decades, with instant coffee giant Nestle and 14 other importers required by Swiss law to store masses of raw bean bags. Coffee stockpiling requirements will expire by the end of 2020 with companies free to decide what they store in their warehouses, according to the plan. The Swiss government said: ‘The Federal Office for National Economic Supply has concluded coffee… is not essential for life.
Dear Switzerland,
Eat shit.
Sincerely,
Mocha McJavaface.
Covfefe.
But I drink tea.
Swiss sources say the empty space left by coffee removal will be used to build up the strategic cigarette stockpile.
I can’t believe a nation ever made a determination that coffee was essential in the first place. Sure, a cup of coffee is enjoyable, but essential, on a strategic national level? I don’t think so.
Coffee is a food group!
Guess they will have to change to stocking Chocolate. I predict the 50% who said coffee not required will insist chocolate is a necessity
Evidently the Swiss never worked third shift…
You wanna screw with morale? Drop the coffee.
You will pay later 🙂
30 days without coffee, and even peaceful Switzerland will be invading Italy for their stash of beans.
This song has been floating around in my head for the past week and I’d like to dedicate it to all my IOTWReport family. Have a great rest of the week and let this float around in your heads, too. Have it with your coffee.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaLDut30Br0
…
“Coffee makes me less Murdery”
They’ll wind up eating paint chips to get a buzz.
They might survive without the coffee—-but why bother?
Thems fighting words
They better adapt themselves to Lincoln coffee ahead of time so they will know what they are facing, and be ready for it.
https://civilwartalk.com/threads/substitute-coffees-during-the-civil-war.88368/.
I’ve read a common saying of that era due to a craving for real coffee, was they wanted coffee strong enough to float an iron wedge.
FAKE NEWS!
If I know politics, it’s because Nestle and 14 other importers, reduced or stopped giving out campaign contributions.
That’s how it works folks!
The media will seek out Trump for his views on this. Then they will poll “average Americans” whether the agree with Trump about coffee. Stories will run, panels will convene 24/7 discussing Trump’s divisiveness and extolling whatever is the opposite of Trump’s view. Finally, Obama and Hillary will weigh in on their sadness that Trump has yet again abused his Presidency to push his extreme views.
Their argument, like their cheese, is full of holes.
I’m sure there are people in Hollywood reading this wondering whut they’re gonna do for emergency enemas now…
They’re stockpiling raping immigrants instead.
Sure, you say coffee is not essential for life. It isn’t essential for me to live my life. But coffee IS essential for me to not “interfere” with YOUR life.
So tell me again, just HOW not essential for WHOSE life is coffee?
LOL! Starbucks operatives will never let that happen.
Coffee keeps me regular. One big cup a day. Once it’s gone, I’m ready for the throne!
After that, straight into the shower.
Hey, I’m doing my part to save the planet. Do you know what a waste toilet paper is?
Timing, it’s all about timing and I buy a carbon steak offset every morning by shitting and then showering!
Midwatch coffee. If it couldn’t dissolve a stainless steel spoon, why bother.
They’ve switched over to pinto beans for the future gas shortage.
THANKS, AA! Very nice!