A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.”
“Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer.”
“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.”Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”
“Oh, no, no”, said the old lady.”You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know.
Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?’ So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!’
“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing.
“OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”
“Not everybody pays.”
h/t Forcibly Deranged.
Damn, at first I thought, (was hoping), it was a couple of towel heads being dragged to the dumpster.
…”Obama” would give you TONS of taxpayer dollars for that other bag…
In and around Seattle is an old style hamburger joint called “Dick’s Hamburgers”. Not so much lately, but every once in a while the fast food options are Taco Time or “A bag of Dick’s”.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick%27s_Drive-In
Life imitates art?
https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/arizona-health/2019/07/19/cooler-penises-frankenstein-head-found-phoenix-body-donation-company/1720254001/
We also have a Dick’s drive in restaurant in downtown Spokane on 3rd Ave. and Division St. just off of I-90. I’ve been eating there since I was in HS 50 years ago and just bought a couple of whammies which are double cheeseburgers today for lunch today again. WE used to be able to feed the whole family for cheap for under $10-$!5, not anymore but we still go there probably more often than we should, it’s a Spokane institution with people from all walks of life eating at Dick’s. Their mascot was and still is a Panda bear similar to Andy Panda saying buy a bag full of burgers. they used to be cash only until a year or so ago and now take debit cards which makes it too tempting to eat there still.
What the Fuck is happening here?
Dick’s, Moe, Dick’s. I like Dick’s. But the meat has gotten smaller.
(Edit: I forgot the apostrophes.)
This is the type of thread I’m going to miss when they kill 1A and all the Conservative blogs.
The old lady musta been on her way to sell them to Wang’s In The Desert…
Instead of the $20 she got a tip.
I heard that a Jewish golfer told her “just a bit of the tip please”!
Geez… that’s a tough one… 🤔
On the ONE hand, I haven’t ‘needed’ it for decades… but on the other hand, I DO like the convenience of peeing WHILE standing… 😑