RedState: Company Threatens ‘Smell Checks’ on Employees in the Bathroom More Than 10 Minutes – to Ensure They Aren’t Playing on Their Phones.
Do you have a nose for detective work?
If so, you may be the perfect hire at a company spotlighted on Reddit.
As reported by Baltimore’s Fox5, the organization needs your skills, as employees are apparently spending too much time in the bathroom. It seems in this modern age where we’re more connected to our phones than to one another, people are taking their time on the throne because they’re kings and queens of the internet.
Wanna buy some new shoes on Amazon? Kick it in the restroom. Need to Facebook with Jim? Go to the John. Fancy a trip to Instagram Island? Hop onboard the S.S. S-hole.
Therefore, the company’s instituting a smell test.
Sounds like the perfect job for Joe Biden. He has a nose that shames bloodhounds.
Onion?
This has to be a prank.
Well, there goes the “courtesy flush”.
…wouldn’t work here. Too many Third Worlders, and they ALWAYS smell like shit…
…well, I know what Buttgieg’s next job will be after his President thing tanks…
…of course, it the same enterprising folks that sell “clean” urine for drug tests get on this, there’s probably some good ground-floor opportunities i tbe emerging “fake fart smell” market…
It’s the current year! You hateful barbarians! What enslaver, still, requires workers to go the the “bath” room!? There’s an aisle between the cubicles! Right there! No differently documented surveillance required!
Broccoli and Brussel Sprouts! Make them earn their money.
…so how’s that gonna work in San Francisco?
…hold back some used toilet paper and press it business side first into the hand of the potty monitor for proof…
Better start leaving the Poo-Pourri at home.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkJy0Z2P_1k .
What company is doing this? I can’t seem to find a name, but I miss the obvious sometimes. Anybody know?
Whoever is doing this: Bad Idea. You drive them off of the toilet, they’ll be shitting in the hall.
Thirdtwin DECEMBER 19, 2019 AT 8:37 AM
“What company is doing this? I can’t seem to find a name, but I miss the obvious sometimes. Anybody know?”
…nothing useful, apparently or not enough OF anything useful, if they have time for THIS kind of literal “shit”…
…maybe you can do it the same way that college athletes pass their exams, pay someone pre-lay a log for you just before you plan to go blog, so it’s there for the poopy snooper to view and you still have clean hands (and ass)…
The solution: https://liquidass.com/
They could hire Sgt. Sphincter of the Dirt Patrol.
Be a Professional Fart-Sniffer!
Do you have a discerning olfactory?
Can you tell the difference between a bean fart and a real shit?
$15/hr plus benefits! Medical and 401k!
A progressive equal opportunity company.
Potential advancement to Turd-Burglar!
Heaven help us.
izlamo delenda est …
But my shit doesn’t stink.🥴
The United States developed smell bombs at the end of WWII, one of which had this, just de-weaponize the formula and tap away oderifiously…
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/09/13/allied-forces-secret-weapon-against-the-nazis-stench-liquid/
@Anonymous December 19, 2019 at 9:02 am
> The solution: https://liquidass.com/
In, oh, so, many, ways
It ain’t us, Thirdtwin.
At my age it takes 10+ minutes just to pee. I’d have to eat a lot of asparagus every day.
For heaven’s sake. That’s their brilliant answer?
How about:
No phones in the restroom
A signal jammer
A time clock outside the room
No doors on stalls
Send in the Rottweilers, to ‘sniff’ out over stayers.
Democrats, by their nature, will have unlimited time on the can.