Patriot Retort: Hey, you young people! Need some hep, cool advice? Let Dear DNAbby answer your questions.
Dear DNAbby,
My roommate agreed that I could adopt a dog.
But now she’s decided against it. How can I
change her mind?
Signed Pet Lover in Cincy
Dear Pet Lover,
Tell your roommate not to be an Indian giver.
Dear DNAbby,
My boyfriend ghosted me. What should I do?
Signed hurting in Baltimore
Dear Hurting in Baltimore,
Dump him!
Good grief. You can almost smell the stink of desperation from here.
At this point, I’m looking back at that beer-drinking Instagram video and thinking to myself, “How charming and understated.”
Just how bad are things going for Elizabeth Warren’s campaign that she’s resorting to playing advice columnist? read more
Next she’ll be bending over and rubbing her crotch on tv, trying to be as disgusting as miley cyrus.
Off topic Neil Peart has passed. God speed.
Dear DNAbby
Got any pointers on edging out the crowd on getting in an elite college?
thanks annon, now I am pucking on self
Most irritating voice of the year, wait, tied with Hillary.
Dear DNAbby, dear DNAbby.
My fountain pen leaks
The nitwit leftist holler at me
and the dems are all freaks
Every side they get up on must be the wrong side of bed
If it weren’t so disturbing I’d wish you were all dead
Signed Unhappy
(apology to John Prine)
Anon – swinging in naked on a wrecking ball is more her style!
Dear Millennials, you are you what you are and ain’t what you ain’t so shut the hell up and quit your damned complaint. Signed, Dear Abby
Dear DNAbby
I have run successful companies all my life, been married to beautiful woman, had beautiful, productive children, and live in a wonderful country.
I feel that I should, somehow, repay this great country.
What should I do?
Proud Capitalist
DNAbby:
Fuck you Donald.