Patriot Retort: In an effort to minimize the likelihood of gaffes, blunders and verbal diarrhea from their presumptive nominee, Team Biden has limited Joe to a 7-minute stump speech.
So while President Trump is getting up on stage and speaking off the cuff for an hour or more, Old 7-Minute Joe does a quick how-do-you-do then gets shuffled backstage — leaving an army of surrogates to handle the bulk of his campaign events.
BUT DON’T YOU DARE QUESTION HIS MENTAL ACUITY!! THAT’S A CONSPIRACY THEORY PUSHED BY RUSSIAN BOTS!!!
Next week’s CNN debate has been changed from two candidates standing behind podiums fielding questions from moderators to two candidates sitting behind a table while audience members (no doubt carefully chosen by CNN/DNC) ask questions.
The better to hide Old 7-Minute Joe’s inability to stand for three hours, no doubt. read more
He’ll never make it, not even with 7-second speeches. Maybe they’ll try a hologram.
they may change another rule in the primary rule book. Joe can remain seated but his mouth is glued shut, the questioners would both ask and answer ol’ Joes questions
“Mr. Biden, is it true you lose focus when speaking on your feet?”
“Look. And that’s ‘Senator Biden’ to you, buddy. I was standing on my feet in the U.S. Congress long before when you weren’t even in diapers! Like even before that, bub!”
“But weren’t you also Vice President, sir?”
“Man, you won’t let this go, will ya? Of course I was Vice President, for six years, because that’s the term. I was Senator before being Barack Osama… Osamam bin bi… you know, his V.P. and I think that takes presi… precie… you know, the top THING!”
“Suit yourself, Senator. My next question concerns the Coronavirus outbreak in the U.S. If elected President, what would you do about it?”
“Well, look man. This thing is awful. I would attack it right where it lives… in whatever country is doin’ this on the Internet… has got to stop it! We can do this and I know how. We’ve got the best people, man. I’ll straighten this mess out.”
“We’ll be right back…” (Station break.)
His wife calls him “7 minute Joe” for a different reason.
I’m LOSING it right now.
They’re seriously gonna have Biden and Sanders, two ancient type old guys, SIT and answer instead of standing???
🤣
Trump Derangement Syndrome is so powerfully virulent, that it has infected nearly half of the United States of America. What other explanation is there for the apparent fulsome embrace of Obiden Bama and Crazy Commie Bernie? Their supporters hate President Donald J. Trump so much, they are willing to pretend that a clearly senile man of diminished metal capacity and an unapologetic communist are capable of leading this country. Listening to the MSDM political commentators last night was like a chapter in a textbook on mass delusion and madness. Apparently, Our Poor Joey has cast a spell over these delusional, hateful political commentators. It’s going to take an exorcism to restore sanity to these pathetically deranged people. It’s yet another task for President Trump to undertake for the good of this country.
7 minute speeches is an eon when you only use 7 words. Built I have faith ol Joe will be able to use all 7, forwards, backwards, interspersed with denture adjustments, angry tirades….none of which makes a lick of sense
7 minutes is an eternity with Biden. Biden needs to stick with one word answers and hope he can escape on a high note.
“His wife calls him “7 minute Joe” for a different reason.”
I’d wear that moniker without shame.
“Joementia“
Meanwhile, President Trump, who will be 74 this year, can go nonstop for an hour and a half and can do multiple rallies in multiple states in a day. He does use a teleprompter for basics, but is at his best when interacting with the audience. He may use an occasional bullshit reference, but in proper context referring to bullshit hoax impeachment, not telling a potential voter that he is full of shit.
The remainder of his campaign is like a scene out of “Weekend at Bernies”. Two of his aids parade his brain dead body out to an audience, raise one arm and wave, do their best ventriloquist act and then whisk him away back to the bus where they Febreze him for the next stop.
7 minutes, eh?
Wellll… that’s still TWICE as long as Jill limits him too! 😆
He is a Place Keeper for the Witch who waits in the wings.
Cynic – “7 minutes”!?
I wish!
This reminded me of the scene from ‘There’s Something About Mary”:
Hitchhiker : You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?
Ted : Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video.
Hitchhiker : Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7… Minute… Abs.
Ted : Right. Yes. OK, all right. I see where you’re going.
Hitchhiker : Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin’ there, there’s 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Ted : I would go for the 7.
Hitchhiker : Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.
Ted : You guarantee it? That’s – how do you do that?
Hitchhiker : If you’re not happy with the first 7 minutes, we’re gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That’s it. That’s our motto. That’s where we’re comin’ from. That’s from “A” to “B”.
Ted : That’s right. That’s – that’s good. That’s good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you’re in trouble, huh?
[Hitchhiker convulses]
Hitchhiker : No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody’s comin’ up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won’t even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.
Ted : That – good point.
Hitchhiker : 7’s the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that’s the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin’ on a branch, eatin’ lots of sunflowers on my uncle’s ranch. You know that old children’s tale from the sea. It’s like you’re dreamin’ about Gorgonzola cheese when it’s clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted : Why?
Hitchhiker : ‘Cause you’re fuckin’ fired!