In the mid 60s when I was an innocent (heh) lad, We listened to the radio during lunch one day. One top-of-the-hour news article described how church-goers applauded President and Mrs. Lyndon Johnson when they arrived for services that Sunday.
Through my child eyes this was an abomination to applaud in church, so I commented, trying to use an intelligent word, “Wow, what a bunch of prostitutes.”
Mom and Dad both sat straight up, eyes wide, looking at me. “What did you say?”
“I said, ‘What a bunch of prostitutes.'”
“Do you know what that word means?”
“Yes, it means stupid people.”
Dad was satisfied. “Close enough,” he said, ending the matter with a grin on his face.
19
I’ve watched this movie for decades in potato vision and finally procured the Blu-Ray HD version this year. You can actually read the sign in the store window that Raphie is looking thru, among other things. Haven’t watched the HD version all the way yet, looking forward to it, sipping on Ovaltine with my decoder pin and Red Ryder by my side.
There are two things that guests are explicitly forbidden to bring onto my property at Christmas time.
This movie is pointless and there isn’t a Goddamned thing the least bit funny about it. If someone shows up with a copy, or threatens to put it on Netflicker – slam the door in their face or tell them to get the hell off the property!
And if some malicious, maladjusted malcontent shows up on the doorstep with a tinfoil pan the size of garbage can lid full of six lbs of high fruit corn syrup and half a sliced apple wrapped up in shitty crust, AKA a disgusting Costco apple pie… do yourself a favor and slam the door in the bastard’s face.
Let the bastards in with that piece of shit and nothing good will come of it. It will not have more than couple pieces taken out of it, and those two pieces will be left sitting around the house somewhere with not more than a single bite taken out of either of them…
I might not object so vehemently to even allowing someone to bring one of the Goddamned things on the property if the party responsible for bringing the nasty disgusting thing had ever, just one time, took it with them when they left… but this much I can guarantee you, there isn’t any way that they are taking that disgusting SOB with them when they leave.
You can’t feed it to the dog, that much high fruit corn syrup might kill the bastard.
Oh hell no, even though your garbage can will be overfilled at Christmas time, it is your responsibility to wash six pounds of high fruit corn syrup and half an apple wrapped in shitty crust down the toilet once again if you let some bastard cross your threshold with one of the sons-a-bitches in the first place. So don’t do it.
5
Lighten up, Hasty.
6
I’m not sure but I think JDHasty gives the movie a thumbs down. I could be wrong.
PS: Their pumpkin pie sucks, too.
8
JD, how do you feel about StoveTop stuffing? 🤔
8
Not to worry. I’m done with these kinds of posts.
1
Shake and Bake at JD’s house!
Mrs. RadioMattM read a few months ago that many places use squash in their pumpkin pies and not pumpkins. That’s like using margarine in butter cookies. I always wondered about the color of Costco pumpkin pies, and I thought that maybe my taste had changed as I got older. Mrs. RMM bought a small pumpkin pie at an independent grocery store. It had the traditional color and the taste I remembered.
I think I had a Costco apple pie once and was not impressed.
I have no dog in this fight as I’ve never seen Christmas story and am nowhere near a Costco.
I just like seeing what hill people will die on.
6
These days Aaron any hill will do.
2
…and a hoppy gnu dear.
2
There is no substitute for homemade pie what ever variety you prefer. I am an excellent fresh fruit pie maker. Became one many years ago when I found out my wife was not. I researched interviewing all the old ladies I could and took notes. I can whip up some lard crust too!
5
@Ronterf Lard is the ONLY ingredient worthy of combining with flour and a pinch of salt to make a crust.
3
I got into trouble with my mom when I was 10 (it was 1963) because I heard the word whore from a friend who saw the movie To Kill A Mockingbird and he told me about it. I was 10, I didn’t know what a whore was back then. My mom asked me where I heard that word and I told her, she was not amused. My dad wouldn’t let me see that movie at the time and I never saw it until I was older and watched it on a VCR.
2
Mom made pie crusts with shortening and butter.
I learned from the best.
1
When I was in the third grade me and my friends though of all the cuss words we knew and I was the genius who decided to write them down. My mother was not impressed when she found the list in my pants pocket doing laundry.
3
O.K., I see how this is going.
I use lard for everything except popcorn. I use coconut oil for that.
Not using coconut oil to make popcorn makes you a soulless monster who smokes menthols and drinks alcoholic seltzer water.
Oh, and beans do not go in chilli.
:sets up beach chair and sun reflector on hilltop, awaits horde of soulless monsters.:
2
The beans are in chili so you can rip loud smelly farts.
1
Stay on your side of the Mississippi, Farts McGee.
2
I can see a new poem called the Cremation of Farts McGee where he lets out a gigantic fart next to an open flame and spontaneously combusts and ends up cremating himself. It’ll be a real stinker.
2
Farts McGee stood 6 foot 10
he only ate to let it our again
one day he strained a mighty fart
ended up blowing out his heart
and at his funeral he did so stink
knocked the preacher off his feet
In the mid 60s when I was an innocent (heh) lad, We listened to the radio during lunch one day. One top-of-the-hour news article described how church-goers applauded President and Mrs. Lyndon Johnson when they arrived for services that Sunday.
Through my child eyes this was an abomination to applaud in church, so I commented, trying to use an intelligent word, “Wow, what a bunch of prostitutes.”
Mom and Dad both sat straight up, eyes wide, looking at me. “What did you say?”
“I said, ‘What a bunch of prostitutes.'”
“Do you know what that word means?”
“Yes, it means stupid people.”
Dad was satisfied. “Close enough,” he said, ending the matter with a grin on his face.
I’ve watched this movie for decades in potato vision and finally procured the Blu-Ray HD version this year. You can actually read the sign in the store window that Raphie is looking thru, among other things. Haven’t watched the HD version all the way yet, looking forward to it, sipping on Ovaltine with my decoder pin and Red Ryder by my side.
Off topic.
https://abyssum.org/2020/12/13/how-dare-donald-trump-turn-out-to-be-one-of-the-best-presidents-the-united-states-of-america-has-ever-had-in-spite-of-his-personal-flaws-which-he-never-tried-to-hide-with-the-result-that-his-honesty-c/
To bad libs would not take the time to read this.
A Christmas story is on a loop all day on Christmas at the house.
^^^Geoff….https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/petition-declare-insurrection-exists-overthrow-will-we-people-and-utilize-military-tribunals
Thanks fort the link Geoff
“Go fudge yourself.”
“All fudged up.”
“This fudging year.”
“Harris fudged her way to the top.”
…somehow it just doesn’t have the same impact.
When my brother came home from Marine boot camp, he said to my father “pass the Mother Pucking salt”
There were no hockey games on TV st the time.
This http://luxlibertas.com/ the-story-behind-a-christmas- story/
got me thinking.
There are two things that guests are explicitly forbidden to bring onto my property at Christmas time.
This movie is pointless and there isn’t a Goddamned thing the least bit funny about it. If someone shows up with a copy, or threatens to put it on Netflicker – slam the door in their face or tell them to get the hell off the property!
And if some malicious, maladjusted malcontent shows up on the doorstep with a tinfoil pan the size of garbage can lid full of six lbs of high fruit corn syrup and half a sliced apple wrapped up in shitty crust, AKA a disgusting Costco apple pie… do yourself a favor and slam the door in the bastard’s face.
Let the bastards in with that piece of shit and nothing good will come of it. It will not have more than couple pieces taken out of it, and those two pieces will be left sitting around the house somewhere with not more than a single bite taken out of either of them…
I might not object so vehemently to even allowing someone to bring one of the Goddamned things on the property if the party responsible for bringing the nasty disgusting thing had ever, just one time, took it with them when they left… but this much I can guarantee you, there isn’t any way that they are taking that disgusting SOB with them when they leave.
You can’t feed it to the dog, that much high fruit corn syrup might kill the bastard.
Oh hell no, even though your garbage can will be overfilled at Christmas time, it is your responsibility to wash six pounds of high fruit corn syrup and half an apple wrapped in shitty crust down the toilet once again if you let some bastard cross your threshold with one of the sons-a-bitches in the first place. So don’t do it.
Lighten up, Hasty.
I’m not sure but I think JDHasty gives the movie a thumbs down. I could be wrong.
PS: Their pumpkin pie sucks, too.
JD, how do you feel about StoveTop stuffing? 🤔
Not to worry. I’m done with these kinds of posts.
Shake and Bake at JD’s house!
Mrs. RadioMattM read a few months ago that many places use squash in their pumpkin pies and not pumpkins. That’s like using margarine in butter cookies. I always wondered about the color of Costco pumpkin pies, and I thought that maybe my taste had changed as I got older. Mrs. RMM bought a small pumpkin pie at an independent grocery store. It had the traditional color and the taste I remembered.
I think I had a Costco apple pie once and was not impressed.
Why MJA AKA “Ralphy” most of us like them.
Wee fish ewe a mare egrets moose.
Tom Cruise is a fudge packer….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-HA1Rs96Po
WOW! JDHasty is my new hero.
I have no dog in this fight as I’ve never seen Christmas story and am nowhere near a Costco.
I just like seeing what hill people will die on.
These days Aaron any hill will do.
…and a hoppy gnu dear.
There is no substitute for homemade pie what ever variety you prefer. I am an excellent fresh fruit pie maker. Became one many years ago when I found out my wife was not. I researched interviewing all the old ladies I could and took notes. I can whip up some lard crust too!
@Ronterf Lard is the ONLY ingredient worthy of combining with flour and a pinch of salt to make a crust.
I got into trouble with my mom when I was 10 (it was 1963) because I heard the word whore from a friend who saw the movie To Kill A Mockingbird and he told me about it. I was 10, I didn’t know what a whore was back then. My mom asked me where I heard that word and I told her, she was not amused. My dad wouldn’t let me see that movie at the time and I never saw it until I was older and watched it on a VCR.
Mom made pie crusts with shortening and butter.
I learned from the best.
When I was in the third grade me and my friends though of all the cuss words we knew and I was the genius who decided to write them down. My mother was not impressed when she found the list in my pants pocket doing laundry.
O.K., I see how this is going.
I use lard for everything except popcorn. I use coconut oil for that.
Not using coconut oil to make popcorn makes you a soulless monster who smokes menthols and drinks alcoholic seltzer water.
Oh, and beans do not go in chilli.
:sets up beach chair and sun reflector on hilltop, awaits horde of soulless monsters.:
The beans are in chili so you can rip loud smelly farts.
Stay on your side of the Mississippi, Farts McGee.
I can see a new poem called the Cremation of Farts McGee where he lets out a gigantic fart next to an open flame and spontaneously combusts and ends up cremating himself. It’ll be a real stinker.
Farts McGee stood 6 foot 10
he only ate to let it our again
one day he strained a mighty fart
ended up blowing out his heart
and at his funeral he did so stink
knocked the preacher off his feet