PJM:
Walk past Colby Watson’s home and you’d think he’s getting mad action from Gwyneth Paltrow. The Texas man claims Paltrow’s candle, called “This Smells Like My Vagina,” exploded, spread Gwen’s essence everywhere, and could have killed him.
The $75 candle, sold by Paltrow’s company “Goop”, comes with a warning:
WARNING: BURN CANDLE WITHIN SIGHT. KEEP AWAY FROM THINGS THAT CATCH FIRE. KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN AND PETS. TRIM WICK TO 1/8” BEFORE EVERY LIGHTING. PLACE ON A STABLE, HEAT RESISTANT SURFACE. KEEP WAX POOL FREE OF DEBRIS. DO NOT BURN FOR MORE THAN TWO HOURS AT A TIME. ALLOW GLASS TO COOL COMPLETELY BEFORE HANDLING.
Watson, who let the candle burn for three hours, believes the warning is “insufficient” and is starting a class-action lawsuit, claiming breach of warranty and product liability. He is seeking more than $5 million dollars. He claims the candle became engulfed in flames and exploded, filling the room with Gwyn-smoke. more
Slow news day?
The sad thing is the imbecile survived the blast. Anyone who’d pay to foul the air in their house with a stench candle deserves what they get.
Gwyneth Paltrow is disgusting and so are the people who buy her products!
I’m not one for nuisance lawsuits, but I say go for it Colby Watson!
Throw in some language like
-This candle is offensive to people who don’t have vaginas
-This candle uses triggering pronouns
-The warning about keeping candle “in sight” is ableist against people who have no sight (blind, for those of you in Rio Linda)
-Question the veracity of the name, make old stinky crotch Gwen prove the candle does indeed live up to its name!
Why not just light a candle in a rotten can of tuna fish, the effect would be the same and much cheaper.
“This Smells Like My Vagina,”
must be pretty flexible to know this
don’t they all smell the same?
On the bright side, it didn’t blow his brains out as he didn’t have any, to begin with.
He should sue because his house now smells
Like a Fulton fish market. Loss of resale value.
Paltrow AND Watson are both a couple of cxnts.
Texas is too embarrassed to say what town the vagina smelling guy lives in. Guess he doesn’t want to be the brunt of the town jokes. Everything is big in Texas….
The candle smells like her vagina which smells like Harvey Weinstein’s jizz, so….
Both Paltrow and the fool who bought the candle should be sued for abject stupidity.
@ Goldenfox
My money’s on Austin.
“don’t they all smell the same?”
Nope. You can smell a diseased one through the clothes and across the room. On a more subtle level, there are many factors that can alter your wife’s current state of, uh, aroma. Yeah. Going with aroma..
I’m waiting for her to put out a candle with the scent of the product she uses for douching….Janitor in a Drum!
A candle that smells like rotting fish?
He should market a candle and call it, “This Smells Like My Dumb Ass.”
You gotta wonder what this idiot was expecting from buying the candle. Invite his friends over and wait until someone finally asks “hey, did you have Gwyneth Paltrow over here?”
The neighbors are thinking “That was one mighty big queef”.
How many seagulls that were crowding his roof were killed in the blast?
Ah, jeez, now Texas is going to smell like rotten fish…
Did they assume her gender?
Seriously though, you have to be an absolute loser, and someone so desperate, lifeless idiot to buy something like that.