Great Moments in History #783

18 Comments on Great Moments in History #783

1. A buddy sent me that meme yesterday, I laughed till I stopped.

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2. I see moss growing.

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3. If he dies the undertaker won’t have to perform an embalming. He’s already soaked in enough chemicals to keep from decaying for centuries.
   It’s kind of a shame that after well over half a century of creating and performing music that he’s most famous for being old and decrepit.

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4. Thanks. I can proceed now.

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5. 1 In the beginning, God pushed Keith Richards over to the side so He could create the heaven and the earth.

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6. I’m still waiting for the Rolling Stones geriatric world tour of Indian casinos and nursing homes. As long as there is still one baby boomer living there will always be an audience for the Stones. Can’t you just see a whole bunch of geriatric old geezers still rocking it out to the Stones singing I Can’t Get No Satisfaction in concert at their nursing home.

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7. I have been a Stones fan since I saw them on their Emotional Rescue tour. That was a well spent $8 and I was 50 feet from the stage. But their 2018 No Filter stadium tour was a waste of $300 a ticket for the reverb and echoing at Gillette stadium up in the stratosphere.

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8. The man is a living contradiction to everything that your parents said was bad.

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9. Chuck Barry, after having performed with Richards, said something to the effect that, “He may be a guitar player but he’s not a musician.”

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10. Chuck BERRY, dammit.

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11. Mick Jaeger actually wrote Keith Richards’ life story out and set it to music, and so “Sympathy For The Devil” was created.

    “Guess My Name” = Keith Richards.

    Read the lyrics and see for yourself…

    “Please allow me to introduce myself
    I’m a man of wealth and taste
    I’ve been around for a long, long years
    Stole million man’s soul an faith
    And I was ’round when Jesus Christ
    Had his moment of doubt and pain
    Made damn sure that Pilate
    Washed his hands and sealed his fate

    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guess my name
    But what’s puzzling you
    Is the nature of my game

    Stuck around St. Petersburg
    When I saw it was a time for a change
    Killed Tsar and his ministers
    Anastasia screamed in vain
    I rode a tank
    Held a general’s rank
    When the blitzkrieg raged
    And the bodies stank

    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
    Ah, what’s puzzling you
    Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

    I watched with glee
    While your kings and queens
    Fought for ten decades
    For the gods they made
    I shouted out
    Who killed the Kennedys?
    When after all
    It was you and me
    Let me please introduce myself
    I’m a man of wealth and taste
    And I laid traps for troubadours
    Who get killed before they reached Bombay

    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
    But what’s puzzling you
    Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
    But what’s confusing you
    Is just the nature of my game

    Just as every cop is a criminal
    And all the sinners saints
    As heads is tails
    Just call me Keith Richards
    ‘Cause I’m in need of some restraint

    So if you meet me
    Have some courtesy
    Have some sympathy, and some taste
    Use all your well-learned politnesse
    Or I’ll lay your soul to waste, mm yeah

    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guessed my name, mm yeah
    But what’s puzzling you
    Is the nature of my game, mm mean it, get down
    Woo, who
    Oh yeah, get on down
    Oh yeah
    Aah yeah
    Tell me baby, what’s my name?
    Tell me honey, can ya guess my name?
    Tell me baby, what’s my name?
    I tell you one time, you’re to blame
    What’s my name
    Tell me, baby, what’s my name?
    Tell me, sweetie, what’s my name?”

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12. (DANTE arrives at the Gates of Hell, that are forever shattered after Jesus broke them on His last visit. DANTE reads this inscription over the ruined gates;

    “Through me is the way to the city of woe,

    Through me is the way to eternal pain,

    Through me is the way to a lost people.

    Justice moved my great Creator

    Divine Power made me,

    the Supreme Wisdom and the Primal Love.

    Before me, nothing else except for Keith Richards was created

    nothing, but the eternal and I last eternally, even as Keith Richards does.

    Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”
    -Dante, “Inferno”, Canto 3

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13. Yeah, but I taught Willie how to sing.

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14. There are a few Originals. Keith is one of them.

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15. Fossilized in real time.

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16. “Can’t get no satisfaction” has an entirely different meaning now…

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17. I think he is asking the kid if he can use him for leverage to help stand up.

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18. I’ve written this before:

    We need to think about the world we leave Keith Richards.

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