Woman Impaled By Fish – IOTW Report

Woman Impaled By Fish

Tuesday, 26 July 2022, 9:30 MJA Uncategorized 22

Maryland woman, 73, is impaled in the groin by a 100-pound SAILFISH that leapt out of the ocean at her while she was fishing off the coast of Florida.

22 Comments on Woman Impaled By Fish

  5. I had a Squad Captain who had “Marlin” as part of his name. He was absolutely great at patient care and marshalling resources scaled to any given incident, but he was not a large or violent individual, and as such lacked the attributes of his seagoing namesake. One day someone made note of this very publically when he, upon being introduced for the first time at a general Department meeting, squinched up his face for a moment and said, “You don’t look like a Marlin, you’re more of a Tuna”.

    …needless to say, that became his nickname from that day forward.

    And he had a good sense of humor too and owned it, even had it embroidered on his uniforms and answered to it on the local radio calls and in person.

    …probably couldn’t do that nowadays, that would be fish-ist cultural appropriation or something as well as a modern “man” would find it offensive and need huge finanical damages because of the horrible pain he suffered and need it forever because he would be scarred for life, but at the time it was still OK to have a sense of humor…

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  7. TRF JULY 26, 2022 AT 10:09 AM
    “Coulda been worse… remember Steve Irwin?
    He didn’t live to tell about it!”

    “Crikey! This fish has a HUGE, solid sword for a nose! This fish is violent and ill-tempered and will instantly impale ANYONE who angers it and gets anywhere around it! It is NEVER safe to be around a swordfish like THIS!

    Let’s poke it with a stick!”

    -What Steve Irwin would have said

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  8. “Here we see the majestic and powerful marlin. This beauty has a beastly streak in that it can become very aggressive very quickly and, if aggrivated, will attack even a human with its broad, sharp bill.

    Jim Fowler, my assistant, is down in the boat next to where this potent creature swims alongside. Jim, why don’t you go poke it with a stick for the viewers.”

    -What Marlin Perkins, “Wild Kingdom”, would have said.

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  14. George Waters
    JULY 26, 2022 AT 11:19 AM
    “SNS you have once again taking to rambling please cease.”

    …whelp, GW, the folks who run the joint don’t mind, and believe me, they would tell me if they did, and I would respect that.

    …Until then, taking a Led Zep cue from @Ulysses Toole above…

    https://youtu.be/EAmIuTI4wRg

    …orr, there’s always the Kevorkian strategy, where I bore you to death with MORE rambling!

    Works pretty good, too. It goes something like this…

    …I remember this time I was talking to this guy in 19 dickety 2, which we had to say “dickety” because Sadam Hussain stole our number “ninety”. Anyway, there we were, outnumbered 10 to 1 when this nice lady,Jane I think it was, said there would be pudding later. Well I can tell you that the whole classroom was ready to play mumbldy peg for THAT! And it reminded me of when my pet lorikeet ate the hat off Queen Elizabeth, no, not the English one, the OTHER one, the one with the staples…you know, the ones that they put in because the hole she tore to her pancreas was too big for just a butterfly. Butterflies LIKE butterfly bushes, you know, that’s why they call them that, but they don’t like Jeb bushes, too low energy, like his brother that lost us our number 90 when that guy threw a shoe at him…

    (notices GW is lolling in his chair)

    …you know, whippersnaper, in MY day, the kids were MUCH more resistant to rambling, probably because our parents were world class in telling us how they walked uphill both ways in the snow in the summer to get to their school because no one could afford nice weather. They had nothing, and were damn glad to have it.

    …so anyway, when Bush and Sadam were hunting butterflies, they were both startled when a Yeti walked up, but it was only Michelle Obama and Bush had to tell her she wasn’t in this story yet while the pollen on the butterflies wings blew off and gave Putin the sneezes because he was hiding in a nearby Bush. NOT a Jeb Bush either, althogh that guys pants were so big, he could have, he just didn’t like the smell in there, kind of lemony and tired.

    Speaking of tired, young one, you look a little peaked. Well, I’m sure you have knives in your house and there’s plenty of instructions on the Interwebs about how you can use them to end it all, so maybe you can multitasking. That’s something I had to do when I was working full time, doing 12 hour squad shifts, and going to full-time college so I couldn’t sleep at ALL for most of the dicketys, let me tell you all about it…

    https://youtu.be/omECDMfbu4k

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  15. SNS.
    Do you have a publisher?
    I have access to printing presses.
    Anyway… i was fishing out of Key West many years ago.
    Could see no land,sitting on the gunnel of the boat i looked down and said hey i can see the bottom,Captain replied yup,this is where the Cuda are.
    Shortly after hooked into a rather large one,he reminded me to keep my fingers away while i was reeling in.

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  20. George,
    Are you one of those Obsessive/Compulsive guys who has to read every comment?
    The essence of Liberty is to choose what you want to read and speak (write) and hear.
    Mr. Hat has given us that Liberty in this wonderfully unique website – let’s not fuck it up with censorship.

    mortem tyrannis
    izlamo delenda est …

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  21. George chuckled – there is a glimmer of hope. By George, you’ve almost got it!

    SNS – that was some weird, wild, wacky stuff. It’s all I can do to not mimic you and start a yapping myself.

    Poor George.

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  22. George Waters
    JULY 26, 2022 AT 4:51 PM
    “I confess a chuckle; but still enough of ur yapping already.”

    …I’m a acquired taste, like anchovies. Salty and smelly, oily and sometimes ruiner of pizza, but as the kinder and more patient of the regulars above can tell you (and thanks, guys, for your support, Helsinki Syndrome tho it may be), sometimes the bitter aftertaste makes you come back just to see if I’m as tasteless as you remember…

    https://comb.io/bCKq1W.gif

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