Claudia FRIDAY, 23 FEBRUARY 2024, 13:22 AT 1:22 PM
Will that one be topped?
Common give me the punch line…
3
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries!
7
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day and drink beer!
17
What do you call a dog named 1.618 1.618? Phi Phi
What do you call a dog named 1.618? Phi-do
What do you call a sea snake that’s 2.718 meters long? An EEEL
What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long? A Pi-thon
5
Woman went to her gynecologist and after getting her settled in for the exam,
the doc took one look and said,
“you have the largest vagina I’ve ever seen”
“you have the largest vagina I’ve ever seen”
and the woman said, “Well, Doc, you didn’t have to say it twice.
the doc replied, “I didn’t”
11
There are three types of people in the world: Those who can count, and those who can’t.
12
How do you identify an Italian airplane at the airplane?
It’s the one with hair under the wings,
6
A poem about beans.
Beans, beans are good for the heart
The more you eat the more you fart
The more you fart the better you feel
And now you’re ready for another meal.
5
From website mathematician jokes:
A mathematician comes home from a symposium to be met at the door by his furious wife.
“What’s the big idea, coming home at three in the morning in this state?” she yells.
“Dear,” says the moderately refreshed gentleman, “what time did I say I would be home?”
“Quarter of twelve, that’s what you said!” screams the wife.
“…Well?” demands the mathematician.
5
To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero…
Thanks for nothing.
9
Tim Buktu, that could also describe a French airline. And if it were British, it would have a stiff upper lip under its nose.
3
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
6
What do you call a president who received 81 million mail-ballots?
2
Just askin for a friend!
1
Knock knock.
1
Hi Mrs Jones, can Timmy come out and play baseball with us?
Now boys, you know Timmy doesn’t have any arms or legs.
We know, we wanna use him as home plate.
6
Money can be utilized as a tool.
You just gotta know which nuts to screw.
Here in Cleveburg the shortest distance between two points is still under construction!
5
@ The Obsolete Man
Pretender!
1
A guy is 72 years old and loves to fish.
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,
‘Pick me up.’
He looked around and couldn’t see any one.
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,
‘Pick me up.’
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, ‘Are you talking to me?’
The frog said, ‘Yes, I’m talking to you.
Pick me up then, kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
I’ll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!’
The man looked at the frog for a short time,
reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket.
The frog said, ‘What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said?
I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.’
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
‘Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.’
With age comes wisdom.
13
Life is a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat.
4
The Mother of All Ethnic Jokes…
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian, an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 Africans all from different African countries all walk into a fine restaurant.
The maître d’ scrutinized the whole group one by one, and then barred them all from entering, saying, “Sorry, you can’t come in here without a Thai.”
9
Joe Biden got 81 million votes!
2
A male bear and a female bear are chatting over drinks in a bar back in the 1970’s.
The male bear says to the female bear: Sow, what’s yer sign?
1
@Harry
The entire group is mad as heck and tells the maître d’: We’re coming in – we don’t give a shirt about the Thai.
1
Q, What does Kamala Harris use to spray her underarms?
A. Raid.
2
There is a Motel 6 in Poland where the Bug and Oder Rivers merge.
It gets terrible reviews.
1
Give most Americans a fish and they will have already started teaching others how to fish from a river.
Teach illegal aliens to fish and most will already begin raping American women and sleeping in a stolen VAN BY THE RIVER!
1
english teacher in unidentified school:
.can anyone use the words ammo and indiscreet in a complete sentence?
student:
.if you doan clean yo room, ammo kick yo a** indiscreet. whut my mama done tole me last night!
What pronouns does chocolate use?
Her/she
Claudia FRIDAY, 23 FEBRUARY 2024, 13:22 AT 1:22 PM
Will that one be topped?
Common give me the punch line…
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries!
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day and drink beer!
What do you call a dog named 1.618 1.618? Phi Phi
What do you call a dog named 1.618? Phi-do
What do you call a sea snake that’s 2.718 meters long? An EEEL
What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long? A Pi-thon
Woman went to her gynecologist and after getting her settled in for the exam,
the doc took one look and said,
“you have the largest vagina I’ve ever seen”
“you have the largest vagina I’ve ever seen”
and the woman said, “Well, Doc, you didn’t have to say it twice.
the doc replied, “I didn’t”
There are three types of people in the world: Those who can count, and those who can’t.
How do you identify an Italian airplane at the airplane?
It’s the one with hair under the wings,
A poem about beans.
Beans, beans are good for the heart
The more you eat the more you fart
The more you fart the better you feel
And now you’re ready for another meal.
From website mathematician jokes:
A mathematician comes home from a symposium to be met at the door by his furious wife.
“What’s the big idea, coming home at three in the morning in this state?” she yells.
“Dear,” says the moderately refreshed gentleman, “what time did I say I would be home?”
“Quarter of twelve, that’s what you said!” screams the wife.
“…Well?” demands the mathematician.
To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero…
Thanks for nothing.
Tim Buktu, that could also describe a French airline. And if it were British, it would have a stiff upper lip under its nose.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
What do you call a president who received 81 million mail-ballots?
Just askin for a friend!
Knock knock.
Hi Mrs Jones, can Timmy come out and play baseball with us?
Now boys, you know Timmy doesn’t have any arms or legs.
We know, we wanna use him as home plate.
Money can be utilized as a tool.
You just gotta know which nuts to screw.
knock knock!
who’s there?
salmon
salmon who?
salmon-chanted evening
Here in Cleveburg the shortest distance between two points is still under construction!
@ The Obsolete Man
Pretender!
A guy is 72 years old and loves to fish.
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,
‘Pick me up.’
He looked around and couldn’t see any one.
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,
‘Pick me up.’
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, ‘Are you talking to me?’
The frog said, ‘Yes, I’m talking to you.
Pick me up then, kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
I’ll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!’
The man looked at the frog for a short time,
reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket.
The frog said, ‘What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said?
I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.’
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
‘Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.’
With age comes wisdom.
Life is a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat.
The Mother of All Ethnic Jokes…
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian, an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 Africans all from different African countries all walk into a fine restaurant.
The maître d’ scrutinized the whole group one by one, and then barred them all from entering, saying, “Sorry, you can’t come in here without a Thai.”
Joe Biden got 81 million votes!
A male bear and a female bear are chatting over drinks in a bar back in the 1970’s.
The male bear says to the female bear: Sow, what’s yer sign?
@Harry
The entire group is mad as heck and tells the maître d’: We’re coming in – we don’t give a shirt about the Thai.
Q, What does Kamala Harris use to spray her underarms?
A. Raid.
There is a Motel 6 in Poland where the Bug and Oder Rivers merge.
It gets terrible reviews.
Give most Americans a fish and they will have already started teaching others how to fish from a river.
Teach illegal aliens to fish and most will already begin raping American women and sleeping in a stolen VAN BY THE RIVER!
english teacher in unidentified school:
.can anyone use the words ammo and indiscreet in a complete sentence?
student:
.if you doan clean yo room, ammo kick yo a** indiscreet. whut my mama done tole me last night!