Yeah yeah, I’m late. I had a lot of crap to do on Friday. Here you go.
30 Comments on Bad Joke Friday! (On Saturday!)
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I Had a lot of crap to do once but i usually just sat down.
What’s a fur lined jock strap?
Ball-to-ball carpeting.
What’s worse than 2 lesbians running with scissors?
2 lesbians scissoring with the runs.
Why are nuns called nuns?
Because they don’t get nun.
I tried calling the local scissor factory. I got cut off.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator
Q: What vegetable do you never want on a boat?
A: A leek.
Two atoms bumped into each other. One said, “I think I lost an electron.” The other asked, “Are you sure?” The first replied, “I’m positive!”
From Physics Jokes
Why don’t physicists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
From Physics Jokes
Ask people what sex they are and laugh hysterically after they answer!
Specify that your drive through order is to go!
Every time someone asks you to do something ‘ask them if they want fries with that’!
At lunch time sit in your parked car, with sunglasses on, and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down!
Men teaching classes for women at the Adult Learning Center. Registration must be complete for June 30 2024!
(Note due to the difficulty and complexity level of their contents class size will be limited to 8 participants)
Class 1: Up in Winter down in Summer-How to adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with slide presentation. Meets 2 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs. Beginning at 7:00 PM..
Why don’t Baptists have sex standing up? Because it might lead to dancing.
Joey Biden got 81 million votes!
My Grandfather has been diagnosed as addicted to Viagra.
Grandma is taking it pretty hard…
Mother goes into her son’s room and is shocked when she sees him chewing on an electric cord
OHM my God! WATT should I do about this. He could kill himself.
Just then Dad comes in and jokes. “We’ll just have to ground him until he learns how to conduct himself properly
I’ve done two song parodies about ED .. “Blue Steel Pill” (Blue Suede Shoes) and “Go See Alice”. I was going to make it a trilogy with “Viva Levitra” … but I just haven’t been up to the task lately
@Call me Lennie
Go Cyalis? Good one.
@ Tim Buktu
“From Physics Jokes”
The angle of the dangle is proportionable to the heat of the meat providing the mass of the ass is constant.
Didja hear about the crazy astronaut?
When he was on the moon, he howled at the earth.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food but no atmosphere.
Didja hear about the dog that lived on Saturn?
He howled at Titan.
Gary Larson reportedly made a lot of cartoons about the dark side of the moon, but nobody ever saw them.
Other planets have nifty names for their moons, like Saturn has Titan for example.
We’re stuck with the boring and generic Moon.
I suggest we start calling our moon Half-Ass, since we only get to see one half of it.
@Mod,,
Yes! If the angle of the dangle, or the heat of the meat, or the mass of the ass are not in the Goldilocks Zone of the correct range of possibilities, it ain’t going to happen.
The three main parts of a wood-burning stove:
Lifter leg and poker
That’s as bad as the sign at the casino and liquor store, liquor in the front, poker in the back.
What do you call a lesbian on fire?
LGBBQ