9 Comments on Bad Joke Friday!

  1. Odd Jobs

    Door-to-door Casket Salesman
    Zoo Gynecologist
    Cockroach Herder
    Live Wire Electrician
    Rodent Embalmer
    Joe Biden’s Psychiatrist
    Shrunken Head Distributor
    Japanese Assassin with a sharp-rimmed hat

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  2. A male gynecologist returned home one night at 7:30 pm. He had worked 12 hours seeing 25 patients and spending the last three hours doing paperwork. His wife met him at the door, dressed in a sheer negligee, her hair and make up perfect, while sipping a martini and holding out another for her husband. As she handed him the drink, she said in a sexy voice: Darling, I’ve been waiting all day for you to come home.

    The doctor, tired and frustrated, responded: IF I SEE JUST ONE MORE OF THOSE THINGS TODAY…

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  3. NY Times recent Headline

    Xi’s Parade Will Send the Message: China Will Not Be Bullied Again
    -I see. Communist Mainland China will no longer allow itself to be bullied by those big bullies from Taiwan.

    MSN recent Harebrained headlines

    What Your Dog’s Sleeping Position Says about their Personality.
    -HMMMM. I always suspected there was a strong link.

    These are the Ugg Boots Carrie Bradshaw Would Totally Approve of.
    -Well Durn it, I need to get me a pair o’ them there boots

    Paul Weller gave working-class children like me hope.
    – I guess I was In the wrong line – I didn’t even get an ounce of hope from whoever he is.

    Newborn Skunks Precious little Noises are music to Everyone’s Ears.
    -In a few months, there will be precious stink bombs to everyone’s nostrils

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  4. Hipster Bar in Greenwich Village, NYC – 1950: Hep Cat Bar & Grill.

    Sign outside shows a Hep Cat leaning against a lamp post wearing a loose suit, a floppy hat and cooly smoking a cig.

    “If you’re a Hep Cat, c’mon in, if you’re not, beat it.

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  5. Journey to the Top of a Nostril (Part 1)

    Both the expedition and the documentary film were suggested by the Jules Verne novel “Journey to the Bottom of The Sea”.

    Twelve Bodynauts were selected and trained by the National Nostril and Ear Administration (NNEA) to take part in a scientific expedition to travel all the way up a subject’s nostril to discover new things that may have heretofore been overlooked. Each Bodynaut was shrunk to between 1/100th to 1/110th of an inch so all could fit comfortably in the tiny capsule which measured 1/50th of an inch long. The expedition consisted of six men and five women. Originally, NNEA planned to send twelve Bodynauts but one female was found to have a bad case of herpes and was deselected for the mission.

    The Bodynauts were launched up the subject’s nostril by a very natural method: the man’s intake of air from his nostril opening. No explosives of any kind were used during the launch, which if used, could have injured the subject’s nasal passage.

    The first task of the Bodynauts was to find shelter to avoid being blown back out by the subject’s exhalation. A solution was found before launch – the Project Managers identified a piece of nose flesh that jutted into the inside of the subject’s nose, the result of the subject being punched in the face several times by a schoolyard bully when he was in the First Grade. The Bodynauts sheltered behind the jutting piece of flesh until the danger was over.

    After that, the expedition proceeded upwards , towards the final destination – the Mucus Membrane.

    …To be continued next week, maybe.

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