Having survived smashing into a big nose hair, our brave Bodynauts are heading up to the Mucus Membrane (MM), where they’ll do some exploring and take a few samples. The ‘nauts have been given some information about the nature of the MM substance. At the forward edge, as it’s been exposed to the air, it hardens, but 10 mini-centi-millimeters in, it becomes very sticky. The Bodynauts have been instructed to go no further in than this minimum distance.
After they arrived at the edge of the MM, the Bodynauts ate and rested for a while. Then, four ‘nauts from team, led by Commander Ralph Krumph, jumped out of the capsule with their laser cutters, knives, axes, and specimen bags. They hack away at the MM and take 45 samples of varying dryness. These will be analyzed by a team of scientists back at Command HQ.
One of the International Bodynauts on the team, Captain Frances “Frenchie” Frankish, of France, disobeyed directions and orders and went much further into to MM than he should have, fell into a crevice, got stuck, and was not able to pull himself out. The team knew they had to save him quickly, as the MM was rising rapidly and would shortly engulf his head. Mission Command was aware of the situation. Cmdr Krumph came up with a plan. There was a supply of nylon rope on board (1/200th diameter tooth floss), and he suggested to Mission Control that they form a noose in it, toss it at Capt. Frank’s head, let it fall around his neck, and pull him out.
Mission Control radioed back: Commander Krumph, stop immediately, do not do that.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger, but why not?
Mission Control: Because you’ll kill him, that’s why.
Continued next week…
Having survived smashing into a big nose hair, our brave Bodynauts are heading up to the Mucus Membrane (MM), where they’ll do some exploring and take a few samples. The ‘nauts have been given some information about the nature of the MM substance. At the forward edge, as it’s been exposed to the air, it hardens, but 10 mini-centi-millimeters in, it becomes very sticky. The Bodynauts have been instructed to go no further in than this minimum distance.
After they arrived at the edge of the MM, the Bodynauts ate and rested for a while. Then, four ‘nauts from team, led by Commander Ralph Krumph, jumped out of the capsule with their laser cutters, knives, axes, and specimen bags. They hack away at the MM and take 45 samples of varying dryness. These will be analyzed by a team of scientists back at Command HQ.
One of the International Bodynauts on the team, Captain Frances “Frenchie” Frank, of France, disobeyed directions and orders and went much further into to MM than he should have, fell into a crevice, got stuck, and was not able to pull himself out. The team knew they had to save him quickly, as the MM was rising rapidly and would shortly engulf his head. Mission Command was aware of the situation. Cmdr Krumph came up with a plan. There was a supply of nylon rope on board (1/200th diameter tooth floss), and he suggested to Mission Control that they form a noose in it, toss it at Capt. Frank’s head, let it fall around his neck, and pull him out. Cmdr Krumph radioed Mission Control about his plan.
Mission Control radioed back: Commander Krumph, stop immediately, do not do that.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger, but why not?
Mission Control: Because you’ll kill him, that’s why.
Having survived smashing into a big nose hair, our brave Bodynauts are heading up to the Mucus Membrane (MM), where they’ll do some exploring and take a few samples. The ‘nauts have been given some information about the nature of the MM substance. At the forward edge, as it’s been exposed to the air, it hardens, but 10 mini-centi-millimeters in, it becomes very sticky. The Bodynauts have been instructed to go no further in than this minimum distance.
After they arrived at the edge of the MM, the Bodynauts ate and rested for a while. Then, four ‘nauts from team, led by Commander Ralph Krumph, jumped out of the capsule with their laser cutters, knives, axes, and specimen bags. They hack away at the MM and take 45 samples of varying dryness. These will be analyzed by a team of scientists back at Command HQ.
One of the International Bodynauts on the team, Captain Frances “Frenchie” Frank, of France, disobeyed directions and orders and went much further into to MM than he should have, fell into a crevice, got stuck, and was not able to pull himself out. The team knew they had to save him quickly, as the MM was rising rapidly and would shortly engulf his head. Mission Command was aware of the situation. Cmdr Krumph came up with a plan. There was a supply of nylon rope on board (1/200th diameter tooth floss), and he suggested to Mission Control that they form a noose in it, toss it at Capt. Frank’s head, let it fall around his neck, and pull him out. Cmdr Krumph radioed Mission Control about his plan.
Mission Control radioed back: Commander Krumph, stop immediately, do not do that.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger, but why not?
Mission Control: Because you’ll kill him, that’s why.
1
I just sold my homing pigeon on Ebay for the 17th time.
6
@Tim Bukto — Stop! Yer killin’ me!
1
Survival Walkabout Tours, Australia, Pty ltd., Alice Springs, NT., Australia.
Jack Evans heah, maites, speakin’ to ya from Alice Sproings, NT, Ozzieland. I’m a goide fer how to survoive for a week in the Owtbaack. I’ve goided people from all over woorld ‘bout how ta do it, start’n roight heah from The Alice, as we local yokels loik to call her. We get a lot of Yanks on these walkabouts, Canuckles, Poms, Germies, you naime it.
All ya need to bring is your sleepin’ gear, bag or whatever, and a big knoife, and I’ll bring the billy cans, some watah, some grub, jest enough to last two noights. Then, its up to us to foind our food owt theauh in the Graite Owtbaack. There are two things that’ll keep us aloive. Foinding watah an’ food. I know where all the springs are within 75 moiles a’ Alice, so the biggest problem facin’ us is where to find some grub.
What I mean is we’ll foind us some witchety grubs. We’ll look for the little ‘oles they maike in the doot near a bush and dig on down till we foind ‘em. If you loike, we can clean ‘em off with a bit a’ kerosene. Then we jab ‘em with a stick an’ roast ‘em ovah an open foiah. Some grubs are big. Oi’ve seen ‘em bigger’n Abo’s ding-a-ling. They taist abowt loike chicken. Now that’s some good eetin’ sheet roight theauh.
If we’re still ‘ungry, we go lookin’ fer some big Inland Taipan snaikes. This is where you need that big knoife. If ya catch one, put yer boot down quick on ‘is neck, then cut off ‘is ead. Keep it for a laite noight snack. Then we rub off the scailes, strip off the ol’ skin, cut owt the meat, and toss the rest awaii. I usually marinaite the meat n’ ‘ead in some Queenslin’ Whoite Loightnin’ Likker. Stick in on a stick over a foiah, an’ we got some noice barby. Then we warsh it all down with a few gallons a’ Ayers Rock Laga.
Rabid Dingos, poison Dragon Lizards, pissed-off Ostriches, Brown Snaikes, Taipan Snaikes, blood-suckin’ cockroaches, horney fukin’ Roos, murder ants, flesh-eetin’ termoites, an’ aggressive camels are the only dainges. But really, no worries, maite. Yull be in good ‘ands.
Good Toimes….
Jack.
Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday.
The rest are weekdays.
3
@Uncle Al
Next week’s update will be a humdinger. And the end. No more suffering.
1
I was in a zoom meeting the other day and told a joke but nobody laughed. Guess I’m not even remotely funny
7
Two guys walked into a bar,…….. the third guy ducked.
4
When I get really bored I put Red Bull in my hummingbird feeder
4
On the first Tuesday of each month at 6pm they test the tornado warning sirens in our town. The last time the sirens went off, my 4 year old shouted “Firetrucks!” I said, “No …” and my 5 year old shouted “WEREWOLVES!” I paused a moment and then said, “Yes!”
Having survived smashing into a big nose hair, our brave Bodynauts are heading up to the Mucus Membrane (MM), where they’ll do some exploring and take a few samples. The ‘nauts have been given some information about the nature of the MM substance. At the forward edge, as it’s been exposed to the air, it hardens, but 10 mini-centi-millimeters in, it becomes very sticky. The Bodynauts have been instructed to go no further in than this minimum distance.
After they arrived at the edge of the MM, the Bodynauts ate and rested for a while. Then, four ‘nauts from team, led by Commander Ralph Krumph, jumped out of the capsule with their laser cutters, knives, axes, and specimen bags. They hack away at the MM and take 45 samples of varying dryness. These will be analyzed by a team of scientists back at Command HQ.
One of the International Bodynauts on the team, Captain Frances “Frenchie” Frankish, of France, disobeyed directions and orders and went much further into to MM than he should have, fell into a crevice, got stuck, and was not able to pull himself out. The team knew they had to save him quickly, as the MM was rising rapidly and would shortly engulf his head. Mission Command was aware of the situation. Cmdr Krumph came up with a plan. There was a supply of nylon rope on board (1/200th diameter tooth floss), and he suggested to Mission Control that they form a noose in it, toss it at Capt. Frank’s head, let it fall around his neck, and pull him out.
Mission Control radioed back: Commander Krumph, stop immediately, do not do that.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger, but why not?
Mission Control: Because you’ll kill him, that’s why.
Continued next week…
Having survived smashing into a big nose hair, our brave Bodynauts are heading up to the Mucus Membrane (MM), where they’ll do some exploring and take a few samples. The ‘nauts have been given some information about the nature of the MM substance. At the forward edge, as it’s been exposed to the air, it hardens, but 10 mini-centi-millimeters in, it becomes very sticky. The Bodynauts have been instructed to go no further in than this minimum distance.
After they arrived at the edge of the MM, the Bodynauts ate and rested for a while. Then, four ‘nauts from team, led by Commander Ralph Krumph, jumped out of the capsule with their laser cutters, knives, axes, and specimen bags. They hack away at the MM and take 45 samples of varying dryness. These will be analyzed by a team of scientists back at Command HQ.
One of the International Bodynauts on the team, Captain Frances “Frenchie” Frank, of France, disobeyed directions and orders and went much further into to MM than he should have, fell into a crevice, got stuck, and was not able to pull himself out. The team knew they had to save him quickly, as the MM was rising rapidly and would shortly engulf his head. Mission Command was aware of the situation. Cmdr Krumph came up with a plan. There was a supply of nylon rope on board (1/200th diameter tooth floss), and he suggested to Mission Control that they form a noose in it, toss it at Capt. Frank’s head, let it fall around his neck, and pull him out. Cmdr Krumph radioed Mission Control about his plan.
Mission Control radioed back: Commander Krumph, stop immediately, do not do that.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger, but why not?
Mission Control: Because you’ll kill him, that’s why.
Having survived smashing into a big nose hair, our brave Bodynauts are heading up to the Mucus Membrane (MM), where they’ll do some exploring and take a few samples. The ‘nauts have been given some information about the nature of the MM substance. At the forward edge, as it’s been exposed to the air, it hardens, but 10 mini-centi-millimeters in, it becomes very sticky. The Bodynauts have been instructed to go no further in than this minimum distance.
After they arrived at the edge of the MM, the Bodynauts ate and rested for a while. Then, four ‘nauts from team, led by Commander Ralph Krumph, jumped out of the capsule with their laser cutters, knives, axes, and specimen bags. They hack away at the MM and take 45 samples of varying dryness. These will be analyzed by a team of scientists back at Command HQ.
One of the International Bodynauts on the team, Captain Frances “Frenchie” Frank, of France, disobeyed directions and orders and went much further into to MM than he should have, fell into a crevice, got stuck, and was not able to pull himself out. The team knew they had to save him quickly, as the MM was rising rapidly and would shortly engulf his head. Mission Command was aware of the situation. Cmdr Krumph came up with a plan. There was a supply of nylon rope on board (1/200th diameter tooth floss), and he suggested to Mission Control that they form a noose in it, toss it at Capt. Frank’s head, let it fall around his neck, and pull him out. Cmdr Krumph radioed Mission Control about his plan.
Mission Control radioed back: Commander Krumph, stop immediately, do not do that.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger, but why not?
Mission Control: Because you’ll kill him, that’s why.
I just sold my homing pigeon on Ebay for the 17th time.
@Tim Bukto — Stop! Yer killin’ me!
Survival Walkabout Tours, Australia, Pty ltd., Alice Springs, NT., Australia.
Jack Evans heah, maites, speakin’ to ya from Alice Sproings, NT, Ozzieland. I’m a goide fer how to survoive for a week in the Owtbaack. I’ve goided people from all over woorld ‘bout how ta do it, start’n roight heah from The Alice, as we local yokels loik to call her. We get a lot of Yanks on these walkabouts, Canuckles, Poms, Germies, you naime it.
All ya need to bring is your sleepin’ gear, bag or whatever, and a big knoife, and I’ll bring the billy cans, some watah, some grub, jest enough to last two noights. Then, its up to us to foind our food owt theauh in the Graite Owtbaack. There are two things that’ll keep us aloive. Foinding watah an’ food. I know where all the springs are within 75 moiles a’ Alice, so the biggest problem facin’ us is where to find some grub.
What I mean is we’ll foind us some witchety grubs. We’ll look for the little ‘oles they maike in the doot near a bush and dig on down till we foind ‘em. If you loike, we can clean ‘em off with a bit a’ kerosene. Then we jab ‘em with a stick an’ roast ‘em ovah an open foiah. Some grubs are big. Oi’ve seen ‘em bigger’n Abo’s ding-a-ling. They taist abowt loike chicken. Now that’s some good eetin’ sheet roight theauh.
If we’re still ‘ungry, we go lookin’ fer some big Inland Taipan snaikes. This is where you need that big knoife. If ya catch one, put yer boot down quick on ‘is neck, then cut off ‘is ead. Keep it for a laite noight snack. Then we rub off the scailes, strip off the ol’ skin, cut owt the meat, and toss the rest awaii. I usually marinaite the meat n’ ‘ead in some Queenslin’ Whoite Loightnin’ Likker. Stick in on a stick over a foiah, an’ we got some noice barby. Then we warsh it all down with a few gallons a’ Ayers Rock Laga.
Rabid Dingos, poison Dragon Lizards, pissed-off Ostriches, Brown Snaikes, Taipan Snaikes, blood-suckin’ cockroaches, horney fukin’ Roos, murder ants, flesh-eetin’ termoites, an’ aggressive camels are the only dainges. But really, no worries, maite. Yull be in good ‘ands.
Good Toimes….
Jack.
Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday.
The rest are weekdays.
@Uncle Al
Next week’s update will be a humdinger. And the end. No more suffering.
I was in a zoom meeting the other day and told a joke but nobody laughed. Guess I’m not even remotely funny
Two guys walked into a bar,…….. the third guy ducked.
When I get really bored I put Red Bull in my hummingbird feeder
On the first Tuesday of each month at 6pm they test the tornado warning sirens in our town. The last time the sirens went off, my 4 year old shouted “Firetrucks!” I said, “No …” and my 5 year old shouted “WEREWOLVES!” I paused a moment and then said, “Yes!”
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep?
Shear madness.