DIOGENES’ MIDDLE FINGER: I post this only as a public service. We here at DMF have always prided ourselves with unceasing efforts to help create a well informed citizenry, as with our ongoing Public Service Educational Crash Course Series. This was sent to me by one of our smart-ass loyal readers, whom I have a strong suspicion is divorced………or soon will be.
MEN TEACHING CLASSES FOR WOMEN AT THE ADULT LEARNING CENTERREGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By December 31, 2018NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .Class 1: Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs. beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2: Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 3: Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?–Group Debate. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 AM for 2 hours.
Hooooooo-boy! Let the games begin!
There’s “someone I know” who would benefit most from #6:
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups
@MJA – You are a TROUBLE-MAKER, you are! (good for you!)
A much needed and hearty chuckle, reminiscent of Dave Barry’s “year in review” column. I needed that! …..Lady in Red
PS: My teeth are still clenched, with sad anger: I just realized that the dog in the Christmas pictures of (the late) Officer Singh is Sam, his K-9 partner. The sheriff is retiring Sam to live with the family, now. “I will not take another member of that family from them….” …..I forget, now, what Sundance calls it….? Cold anger? Arghhh. ….Thanks for the chuckle.
Last time I told big Mike about leaving the Toilet Seat up…
He gave Me a Bla….er He gave Me a sore Eye….
(And not the brown fun one!)
Just got myself in trouble.
Thanks.
Did I leave the stove on? Where did I put my car keys? Did I leave my purse in the car? But I remember every single fookin’ thing you did wrong for the past 20 years.
Join us for a discussion of female selective short term memory disfunction versus total long term memory recall. Remind your significant other that this class meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7:00 p.m., but remind her nicely or you’ll never hear the end of it for the rest of your life.
LOL I actually know some women who would benefit from these classes!
“What do you want for dinner – making a decision versus starving to death.” Meets twice a week at a restaurant to be decided upon later.
The ” I know you were sleeping but this won’t take very long and that’s why the strobe light is on, so it looks like your moving class”…
“Nothing’s wrong, but we know everything is definitely not o.k.” Join us for a thrice weekly discussion on the lack of psychic ability in men to divine easily corrected problems.
*scrolling, reading, judging*
😀
“We need to talk; why men need to just listen instead of trying to participate in any meaningful conversation.”
” Your feet are cold because you didn’t walk to the liquor store to get me more beer class”…
Wyatt, you’re making me laugh. Class at a campus, so it’s supposedly a gun free zone. Don’t know I’d count on that. Especially come grading time. Some women I overhear at checkout lines and such are poster children for remedial humanity classes. Manipulative emotional and unaccountable runs at about 70% for the 35 and under crowd.
@ MJA, LOL!
Biology VS Fashion – Clothing doesn’t cause fat.
This list could be a real marriage saver. . .Next time 🙂
For women only: “Why colors don’t really matter – or – just roll the fricken paint on and forget it, dear.” Class meets in a white room and is designed to relieve women’s addiction to fretting about interior decorations.
For women and men: “Just throw the fucking turkey in the oven!” Three easy classes to convince you it doesn’t matter since turkey sucks anyway and there’s nothing you can do to improve it.
“Leaning to cook in a small kitchen’ – class meets on a 40′ sailing yacht where you’ll learn you actually DON’T need that 500 sq. foot kitchen with marble counter tops to cook a meal. Bring your own supplies (fish is suggested).
@Wyatt, Insensitive Progressive Jerk December 28, 2018 at 7:29 pm
> Did I leave the stove on? Where did I put my car keys? Did I leave my purse in the car? But I remember every single fookin’ thing you did wrong for the past 20 years.
There is a non-dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the outer ground beyond light and shadow, between madness and superstition, and it lies where no one remembers anything, so all things are possible. This is the dimension where no one can prove it, so you can just make stuff up. It is an area which we call … The Feminine Prerogative.