As Seen On TV: The products that shouldn’t have made the cut – IOTW Report

As Seen On TV: The products that shouldn’t have made the cut

Tuesday, 24 October 2017, 20:00 MJA Uncategorized 36

Everyone’s got a favorite “As Seen On TV” product. With goodies like the Snuggie, Shake Weight, and even Magic Mesh, there’s no shortage of weird crap for Americans to buy to solve problems we never knew we had. But for each home run, there’s a horrible strikeout that should’ve never been created, let alone be advertised on the airwaves. We’ve seen some weird As Seen On TV products before, but you’re going to need a whole lot of OxiClean to purify your memories of these horrible inventions.

36 Comments on As Seen On TV: The products that shouldn’t have made the cut

  14. Can I wander a little? If annoying TV commercials are game ALL Liberty Mutual commercials drive me insane. What’s the point of having insurance if you can’t use it?
    What? Am I supposed to drive around on 3 wheels?

    But the absolute worst is the latest with the two little snowflakes have to call mom in the middle of the night because they have a flat tire.

    Are you fucking kidding me snowflake?
    Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick.
    My weak little sister can change a tire.

    Grrrrr.

    Next time, pussy boys. Call my weak little sister.

  15. If you order NOW, you’ll get 2 of them plus some other worthless bonus item.

    But wait, there’s more!

    We’ll double the doubled offer AND you can split the payments over 8 months for ONLY $9 per month!

    But wait, there’s even MORE!

    We’ll include a never before offered EXTENSION for your worthless item so you can extend into never before reached places.

    But wait!

    You need to act NOW NOW NOW

    But wait!

    You have only 4 hours to claim the double double bonus gift extended payments in order to EXTEND your payments for only a dollar a month for 16 months!

    But wait!

    We’ll re-run this again at 2am, in 1 hour!!!!

  17. How about the ads that only allow you to order today if your name falls between A and K. Names L – Z must wait until tomorrow.

    It’s the secret the credit card/IRS/insurance companies/precious metals dealers don’t want you to know about. It’s our little secret.

  22. True confession. I got sucked into that wheelbarrow that’s also a handtruck and a leaf bag holder and a warm
    Companion on cold winter nights. I bought one.
    For all of the tasks other than a wheelbarrow it worked ok.

    You can’t mix concrete in it though. Well, you
    Can. But not much. Sucks as a wheelbarrow

  25. DUMP reminds me of Campbell Soup cookbook and crockpots.

    You know those restaurants and companies that advertise home cooking like Mom used to make?

    Let’s start off with I love my mother dearly. She turns 85 next year. But “like mom used to make” is a threat.
    Turkey cooked at 225 for 14 hours? Roast beef, followed by corned beef, all dehydrated to 60 grit abrasives challenges the most robust alimentary tract, let alone the digestive.

    It’s a fools errand to disrupt it. Not complaining either. It’s just what is.

    Headed there in early next year. Pahrump doesn’t provide much opportunity for fine dining.

  26. Ron Popeil; Pocket Fisherman, Spray on hair and a host of other useless products.
    His daughter did some work with Zappa on a song or two.
    And seems like she was kidnapped or something.
    Aside from that, I seem to remember a “battery charger” that plugged in to a cigarette lighter.

  29. @Moxie-I actually have one of those somewhere in my basement. It was so stupid I had to have it. My oldest brother gave it to me for Christmas when I was 12 or 13. Good times…

  30. Geoff C. and I fish. We do that pre-fishing bet “bingo, bango, bongo”: first, biggest, most. So when I saw the infomercial about 25 years ago for the “Ultimate Do-Nothing Lure”, I was hooked! Found the item at a sportsman show, too! What luck! Opened the bag, dumped out the “46 individual lures!” and it was a sad, sad, sad mess of rubber worms and various oddball elements all snarled together and (some) attached to cheap hooks.

    At least they didn’t lie about what they were offering. They were, indeed, The Ultimate Do-Nothing Lure. I still have a sad-looking rubber worm lure in my tackle box because I like to make Geoff C. laugh.

    I’ll stick to fly fishing. Nothing dishonest about feathers. 🙂

  33. Great thread. I’d forgotten about Spray On Hair. Wonder how many spray cans of Hair it takes to waterproof a screen door jonboat?

    Subaru commercials aimed at fearful single Moms. Crying 26 year old male “child” calls, whispering and weeping, he’s been in “an accident”, boo boo sniffle, but thankfully Mom bought a Subaru. Which is made of pink velvet bubble wrap and a COEXIST sticker.

    Beta males and limpwrist lisping faggotry inserted into every commercial. I’ve a long list of companies I’d never use because their ad casting is so repulsive.

    TV tells me consistently that I live in an America that is 95% black, 75% gay and 99% single moms with helpless snowflake teenagers.
    No wonder Hilary expected to win. NYT prediction: 93-7!

  34. Dump meals really do look like someone took a big dump in a bowl and then cooked it for dinner. YUM, NOT! Even Chicken Ala King looks and tastes better than Dump meals which looks like someone tossed their cookies on a plate. My favorite was Chris Farley’s parody of Depends undergarments called Oops I Crapped My Pants on SNL. Spray on hair, yeah sure if you want to look like more of a bald headed dork than you really are already.

  35. I have been using a FlowBee for almost 30 years after a rude woman barber said something about my scalp.
    I figure it’s saved me about $7000 based on a haircut a month and minimum $10 tip!!!!!
    And comments about how it looks will just show your ignorance because you can’t tell. You just have to be smart enough to follow the directions.

  36. ⬆️
    It’s a J O K E. I detect a bit of thin skin. That a “woman” barber’s comment from 30 yrs ago still grates on you…. personally I would’ve found another barber.
    If you’d posted under your usual handle I may have apologized, not for my comment (ppl who can’t laugh at themselves probably should stay off the internet), but for hurting your feelings (as unintentional as it was).

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