Bad names/concepts for on-line and newspaper comic strips:
‘Yo Mama
The Adventures of Lady Godiva
Bruce and Larry
Garlicfield
Granny the Tranny
Little Orphan Adolf
Prince Violent in the Days of King Arthur
Alley Oopsies
Emperor Caligula
Terry and the Pilates
Little Boy and Fat Man
2
Bad names/concepts for on-line and newspaper comic strips:
‘Yo Mama
The Adventures of Lady Godiva
Bruce and Larry
Garlicfield
Granny the Tranny
Little Orphan Adolf
Prince Violent in the Days of King Arthur
Alley Oopsies
Emperor Caligula
Terry and the Pilates
Little Boy and Fat Man
1890’s medical nostrum advertisements:
Dr. Mince’s Tongue and Mouth Sores Ointment
Dr. Ferdelman’s Washable Outhouse Papers
Barthelmess’s Insanity Pills
Anderson’s Excellent Stomach Gas Repellant
Dr. Boone’s Patented Arsenic Eye Drops
Brooklyn Pharmaceuticals Amazing Breath Tablets
Sear’s Famous “Wash Em’ Once, Wear Em’ A Lot” Men’s Underpants
Excelsior Bald Headedness Hair Growth Cream
1
People in Athens rarely get up before sunrise.
Dawn is tough on Greece.
8
“They say you’re as young as you feel…depressing, isn’t it?”
4
This weekend’s bizarre headlines from those empty-headed MSN writers (unfortunately, these are real, not made up):
A Free Speech Lesson From Karl Marx
Deflect homing balls with focus, timing and strategy
Americans Are Concerned About Climate Change – but They Should Be Afraid
Democrats try a new tone: Less scripted, more cursing, Trumpier results
….Mondo Crazy.
3
Q. How do you separate the men from the boys in the Greek Navy?
A. With crowbars.
4
Professional Roller Derby in 2075.
Besamé-L’Afrique Alcindor-Ahaman is a member of the Paris Rhinos, of the European Intersex Roller Derby League (a member league of the IWIDRPDLA).
Roller Derby Update 2075 (translated from the French).
People, I’m Besamé-L’Afrique Alcindor-Ahaman and I’m here to tell you that Roller Derby is by far the most popular sport in the world now in 2075. There are 426 teams world-wide. The International World International Alliance of Derby Roller Professional Derby Leagues Association (IWIADRPDLA) is the world’s governing body for our great sport, which has become amazingly popular – this is especially true in Asia, where last year’s playoffs drew a four billion television viewership in China alone, a huge success. Another three billion watched from countries such as Malaysia, the Philippines, and Indonesia. The rest of the world had a combined two billion viewers watching. Meanwhile, the 11-game American baseball World Series drew a paltry average of 20,000 viewers a game. Baseball is an old coot’s 19th Century game. Roller Derby is the 21st century game for everyone, any sexual persuasion, any criminal record, anywhere.
Our founders got the recruiting idea from the French Foreign Legion.
The movie, Derby Dames, released in 2045, ignited a great interest in our sport, especially in Asia, South America, and Africa.
The Derby association allows anyone with roller talent to become a player, including men, women, homosexuals, transits, multi-sexuals, so-called perverts of any kind, one-legged or one-armed people, criminals, murderers, dictators, anyone who has the talent and ability to succeed in the Derby. Nobody cares what you do or did in your private life. Winning is the only important thing in the Roller Derby.
3
One more bad comic strip name…about the funny goings-on in a retirement community:
Old Cootville, USA.
1
Unreal news stories:
Man in Arizona Caught Having Illegal Sex With a Prickly Pear Cactus.
Dog in Brazil Gets Sex Change Operation.
Italy’s only KKK Chapter Burns Huge Wooden Cross in St. Peter’s Square.
Walrus is Elected to Norway’s Parliament.
2
I’ll admit I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives 50 miles away.
5
Kate goes to the Jewish drugstore.
Moishe, she says I need 3 D batteries.
Moishe raises his finger and says come this way.
Kate says that if she could come that way, she wouldn’t need the batteries
5
I’ll never forget the night my friend John came running out of the room screaming IT’S A BOY, IT’S A BOY.
John and I never went back to Thailand again.
3
Movies slated for release 2026-2027:
Naked Love 101. A man and a woman find 101 ways to do it, either with each other, by themselves, or with various objects. Sometimes even just partially naked. Rated GP for all audiences.
Cyclops – The Legend. The script is written. The director has been trying for three years to find an actor with one eye in the middle of his forehead for the lead. If such a man is not found, instead of a live action movie, it will be animated.
Beau Biden. A new update on the Beau Geste franchise. After escaping Justice in the US, Beau Biden goes to France and enlists in the French Foreign Legion. The captain of his company eventually shoots Beau for extreme cowardice.
UricAcid Park. A group of US entrepreneurs created huge dinosaurs, put them in a 250 acre fenced in park, and collected their urine to refine it for uric acid. Subsequently the company cornered the world market for this substance. The collection process is done by robots. Sneak Preview: one day the dinos revolted and crushed the hated robots.
Undocumented. A film about a mostly peaceful undocumented alien and how his anger over being viewed as a third-class criminal instead of a first-class criminal propels him to cruelly execute all other members of his gang so that he can take it over.
Stalin vs Mao – a movie about a fictitious but heart-warming tale about how Premier Stalin and Chairman Mao came together in a boxing match in 1951 to determine which man would rule the international communist movement. It was a 15 round bout which ended in a draw. It was strongly suggested to the judges that they pick neither one as the victor. However, both combatants claimed victory.
Bad names/concepts for on-line and newspaper comic strips:
‘Yo Mama
The Adventures of Lady Godiva
Bruce and Larry
Garlicfield
Granny the Tranny
Little Orphan Adolf
Prince Violent in the Days of King Arthur
Alley Oopsies
Emperor Caligula
Terry and the Pilates
Little Boy and Fat Man
Bad names/concepts for on-line and newspaper comic strips:
‘Yo Mama
The Adventures of Lady Godiva
Bruce and Larry
Garlicfield
Granny the Tranny
Little Orphan Adolf
Prince Violent in the Days of King Arthur
Alley Oopsies
Emperor Caligula
Terry and the Pilates
Little Boy and Fat Man
1890’s medical nostrum advertisements:
Dr. Mince’s Tongue and Mouth Sores Ointment
Dr. Ferdelman’s Washable Outhouse Papers
Barthelmess’s Insanity Pills
Anderson’s Excellent Stomach Gas Repellant
Dr. Boone’s Patented Arsenic Eye Drops
Brooklyn Pharmaceuticals Amazing Breath Tablets
Sear’s Famous “Wash Em’ Once, Wear Em’ A Lot” Men’s Underpants
Excelsior Bald Headedness Hair Growth Cream
People in Athens rarely get up before sunrise.
Dawn is tough on Greece.
“They say you’re as young as you feel…depressing, isn’t it?”
This weekend’s bizarre headlines from those empty-headed MSN writers (unfortunately, these are real, not made up):
A Free Speech Lesson From Karl Marx
Deflect homing balls with focus, timing and strategy
Americans Are Concerned About Climate Change – but They Should Be Afraid
Democrats try a new tone: Less scripted, more cursing, Trumpier results
….Mondo Crazy.
Q. How do you separate the men from the boys in the Greek Navy?
A. With crowbars.
Professional Roller Derby in 2075.
Besamé-L’Afrique Alcindor-Ahaman is a member of the Paris Rhinos, of the European Intersex Roller Derby League (a member league of the IWIDRPDLA).
Roller Derby Update 2075 (translated from the French).
People, I’m Besamé-L’Afrique Alcindor-Ahaman and I’m here to tell you that Roller Derby is by far the most popular sport in the world now in 2075. There are 426 teams world-wide. The International World International Alliance of Derby Roller Professional Derby Leagues Association (IWIADRPDLA) is the world’s governing body for our great sport, which has become amazingly popular – this is especially true in Asia, where last year’s playoffs drew a four billion television viewership in China alone, a huge success. Another three billion watched from countries such as Malaysia, the Philippines, and Indonesia. The rest of the world had a combined two billion viewers watching. Meanwhile, the 11-game American baseball World Series drew a paltry average of 20,000 viewers a game. Baseball is an old coot’s 19th Century game. Roller Derby is the 21st century game for everyone, any sexual persuasion, any criminal record, anywhere.
Our founders got the recruiting idea from the French Foreign Legion.
The movie, Derby Dames, released in 2045, ignited a great interest in our sport, especially in Asia, South America, and Africa.
The Derby association allows anyone with roller talent to become a player, including men, women, homosexuals, transits, multi-sexuals, so-called perverts of any kind, one-legged or one-armed people, criminals, murderers, dictators, anyone who has the talent and ability to succeed in the Derby. Nobody cares what you do or did in your private life. Winning is the only important thing in the Roller Derby.
One more bad comic strip name…about the funny goings-on in a retirement community:
Old Cootville, USA.
Unreal news stories:
Man in Arizona Caught Having Illegal Sex With a Prickly Pear Cactus.
Dog in Brazil Gets Sex Change Operation.
Italy’s only KKK Chapter Burns Huge Wooden Cross in St. Peter’s Square.
Walrus is Elected to Norway’s Parliament.
I’ll admit I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives 50 miles away.
Kate goes to the Jewish drugstore.
Moishe, she says I need 3 D batteries.
Moishe raises his finger and says come this way.
Kate says that if she could come that way, she wouldn’t need the batteries
I’ll never forget the night my friend John came running out of the room screaming IT’S A BOY, IT’S A BOY.
John and I never went back to Thailand again.
Movies slated for release 2026-2027:
Naked Love 101. A man and a woman find 101 ways to do it, either with each other, by themselves, or with various objects. Sometimes even just partially naked. Rated GP for all audiences.
Cyclops – The Legend. The script is written. The director has been trying for three years to find an actor with one eye in the middle of his forehead for the lead. If such a man is not found, instead of a live action movie, it will be animated.
Beau Biden. A new update on the Beau Geste franchise. After escaping Justice in the US, Beau Biden goes to France and enlists in the French Foreign Legion. The captain of his company eventually shoots Beau for extreme cowardice.
UricAcid Park. A group of US entrepreneurs created huge dinosaurs, put them in a 250 acre fenced in park, and collected their urine to refine it for uric acid. Subsequently the company cornered the world market for this substance. The collection process is done by robots. Sneak Preview: one day the dinos revolted and crushed the hated robots.
Undocumented. A film about a mostly peaceful undocumented alien and how his anger over being viewed as a third-class criminal instead of a first-class criminal propels him to cruelly execute all other members of his gang so that he can take it over.
Stalin vs Mao – a movie about a fictitious but heart-warming tale about how Premier Stalin and Chairman Mao came together in a boxing match in 1951 to determine which man would rule the international communist movement. It was a 15 round bout which ended in a draw. It was strongly suggested to the judges that they pick neither one as the victor. However, both combatants claimed victory.