When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
7
To me “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it!
4
Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers!
12
Just like a sore prick,,, you can’t beat it.
3
Kamala can’t suck just one and Tampon Timmy is light in his loafers…
2
And I thought that lost socks just vanished into black holes.
2
“Feedom” is just another word for “pay as you get blown” in the Harris Camp…
sit Trump is Hitler then she must be the tramp….
1
Did you hear about the man who evaporated?
He’ll be mist.
9
Remember the guy who fell onto an upholstery machine?
He’s now fully recovered.
6
I once left a jar of Adderall in a Ford Fiesta…
The next day it turned into a Ford Focus!
7
wife:
“My back is in really bad shape.
husband:
“Your front’s pretty fucked up, too.”
3
As I was driving past a graveyard, I took a look at it. Nothing was happening. No activity besides leaves falling off trees.
I said to my wife – “It’s really dead in there”.
2
I used to tell my kids when we passed a cemetery that people were dying to get in there. Until they quit believing all my tall tales. And I’d bet that my son is telling his 3 kids the same thing now.
5
Ask a funeral home director “How’s business?”
He’ll either say “Looking up” or “Dead”
4
One of my favorite Far Side comic strips is the one where a guy with a briefcase (probably a salesman) is standing at the gate to a cemetery and is greeted by a hooded white ghost in black face who tells him, “Sorry we’re dead.”
4
favorite from the far side: “nerds of the old west”…cowboy leaving an outhouse with tp hooked onto one spur – leaving a long trail
4
^^^^^
Well there was a novel and maybe a movie called “Trail of the Lonesome Pine”.
For that Far Side ‘toon, we could call it “Trail of the Loathsome Wipe”.
4
My favorite Far Side is why dinosaurs went extinct, with the dinosaurs standing around puffing on cigarettes. Also, the whole ‘trouble brewing’ series is hysterical.
3
Didja hear about the metal band from the Dom. Republic?
The band had to think of a memorable name, so they came up a name they hear over and over from their wives and girl friends: “The Feelthy Peegs”.
Joey Biden got 81 million votes!
When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
To me “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it!
Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers!
Just like a sore prick,,, you can’t beat it.
Kamala can’t suck just one and Tampon Timmy is light in his loafers…
And I thought that lost socks just vanished into black holes.
“Feedom” is just another word for “pay as you get blown” in the Harris Camp…
sit Trump is Hitler then she must be the tramp….
Did you hear about the man who evaporated?
He’ll be mist.
Remember the guy who fell onto an upholstery machine?
He’s now fully recovered.
I once left a jar of Adderall in a Ford Fiesta…
The next day it turned into a Ford Focus!
wife:
“My back is in really bad shape.
husband:
“Your front’s pretty fucked up, too.”
As I was driving past a graveyard, I took a look at it. Nothing was happening. No activity besides leaves falling off trees.
I said to my wife – “It’s really dead in there”.
I used to tell my kids when we passed a cemetery that people were dying to get in there. Until they quit believing all my tall tales. And I’d bet that my son is telling his 3 kids the same thing now.
Ask a funeral home director “How’s business?”
He’ll either say “Looking up” or “Dead”
One of my favorite Far Side comic strips is the one where a guy with a briefcase (probably a salesman) is standing at the gate to a cemetery and is greeted by a hooded white ghost in black face who tells him, “Sorry we’re dead.”
favorite from the far side: “nerds of the old west”…cowboy leaving an outhouse with tp hooked onto one spur – leaving a long trail
^^^^^
Well there was a novel and maybe a movie called “Trail of the Lonesome Pine”.
For that Far Side ‘toon, we could call it “Trail of the Loathsome Wipe”.
My favorite Far Side is why dinosaurs went extinct, with the dinosaurs standing around puffing on cigarettes. Also, the whole ‘trouble brewing’ series is hysterical.
Didja hear about the metal band from the Dom. Republic?
The band had to think of a memorable name, so they came up a name they hear over and over from their wives and girl friends: “The Feelthy Peegs”.