What does a person with diarrhea and an owner of an electric car have in common?
They both hope they can make it home.
11
Without exploding on the way home.
8
Three main parts of the traditional vegetable garden: Lettuce Turnip and Pea.
2
Stan: Any news about the guy who fell into an upholstery machine?
Jan: Yes, He’s now fully recovered!
6
What did Don Ho’s (“Tiny Bubbles”) kids say about their mother?
Momma’s a Ho.
3
Q: How do trash collectors get trained?
A: They don’t; They just pick it up as they go along!
8
What do Computer Geeks do? They maintain Nutworks.
2
“The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals”!
5
How I Served My Country by Jane Fonda
My Beauty Secrets by Janet Reno
Things I Like About Bill by Hillary Clinton
My Plan To Find The Real Killers by OJ Simpson
Things I Cannot Afford by Bill Gates
8
My bad joke is Anonymous. Everyday, not just Friday. where is he btw? No sense of humor, I guess. Duh!
4
“Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands”.
5
Did you hear about the guy who went to the hospital with pain in his rectum? The doctors removed three plastic horses from his butt. They listed his condition as “stable”
5
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
7
Best selling novel, 1959: The Wildcat’s Revenge, by Claude Ballz.
2
Best selling novel, 1960: The Open Pajama, by Seymour Teet.
2
I’m allergic to cotton.
There are pills I can take, but I can’t get them out of the bottle.
2
And the classics from grade school, Under the grandstands by I Seymour Butts and Yellow River by I P Freely.
1
Where did the Irish family go on vacation?
To a different bar.
How do you stop an Italian from talking?
Hold both his hands.
1
What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam!
2
Rene Descartes was in a restaurant when the waiter asked if he wanted another drink. He said, “I think not!”, and disappeared.
From Philosopher Jokes
2
A German, an Italian, a Frenchman, and an Englishmen are debating philosophy.
The question arises over the course of their debates: What separates man from the animals?
“Technology,” says the German. “Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts.”
“I disagree,” announces the Italian. “It is our food. The creatures of the wild eat, but they do not cook. Humans on the other hand, create amazing dishes and new combination that make eating a most enjoyable experience.”
“I say it’s art,” decides the Frenchman. “No other being can create art. From our earliest days we have painted, and now we sculpt, write and compose as well. The wild animals cannot ever know what it is like to cry over a beautiful piece of art.”
All three now look towards the Englishman, expecting his answer. He takes a long sip of tea before answering.
“The Channel.”
From Philosopher Jokes
3
What did the husband say when he showed his wife the holes in his socks?
Darn.
(well, it is BAD JOKE Friday)
2
Not jokes, but interesting movie titles:
I Wake Up Screaming
The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave
The General Died at Dawn
Let’s Scare Jessica to Death
Night Train to Chungking
^^^^^
I modified a couple of them:
I Wake Up Itching
Night Heaves from Chungking Cafe
The General Hari-Kari’d at Dawn
^^^^^ Uh, maybe it was Night Plane from Chungking (1943).
I don’t know if it was a good movie or not, but the title is evocative. Wartime espionage in the mysterious far east and all of that.
Joe Biden got 81 million votes!
3
long-ago pharmacist in my hometow got fired, could not get those little bottles into the typewriter
1
hometown…shi-ite!
another thinnest-book title:
how to protect white women & children by m. byrd and l. horiuchi
another thinnest-book title: how to protect white women & children by m. byrd & l. horiuchi
BIDEN IS THE WORST JOEK EVER PLAYED ON AMERICA
What does a person with diarrhea and an owner of an electric car have in common?
They both hope they can make it home.
Without exploding on the way home.
Three main parts of the traditional vegetable garden: Lettuce Turnip and Pea.
Stan: Any news about the guy who fell into an upholstery machine?
Jan: Yes, He’s now fully recovered!
What did Don Ho’s (“Tiny Bubbles”) kids say about their mother?
Momma’s a Ho.
Q: How do trash collectors get trained?
A: They don’t; They just pick it up as they go along!
What do Computer Geeks do? They maintain Nutworks.
“The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals”!
How I Served My Country by Jane Fonda
My Beauty Secrets by Janet Reno
Things I Like About Bill by Hillary Clinton
My Plan To Find The Real Killers by OJ Simpson
Things I Cannot Afford by Bill Gates
My bad joke is Anonymous. Everyday, not just Friday. where is he btw? No sense of humor, I guess. Duh!
“Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands”.
Did you hear about the guy who went to the hospital with pain in his rectum? The doctors removed three plastic horses from his butt. They listed his condition as “stable”
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
Best selling novel, 1959: The Wildcat’s Revenge, by Claude Ballz.
Best selling novel, 1960: The Open Pajama, by Seymour Teet.
I’m allergic to cotton.
There are pills I can take, but I can’t get them out of the bottle.
And the classics from grade school, Under the grandstands by I Seymour Butts and Yellow River by I P Freely.
Where did the Irish family go on vacation?
To a different bar.
How do you stop an Italian from talking?
Hold both his hands.
What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam!
Rene Descartes was in a restaurant when the waiter asked if he wanted another drink. He said, “I think not!”, and disappeared.
From Philosopher Jokes
A German, an Italian, a Frenchman, and an Englishmen are debating philosophy.
The question arises over the course of their debates: What separates man from the animals?
“Technology,” says the German. “Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts.”
“I disagree,” announces the Italian. “It is our food. The creatures of the wild eat, but they do not cook. Humans on the other hand, create amazing dishes and new combination that make eating a most enjoyable experience.”
“I say it’s art,” decides the Frenchman. “No other being can create art. From our earliest days we have painted, and now we sculpt, write and compose as well. The wild animals cannot ever know what it is like to cry over a beautiful piece of art.”
All three now look towards the Englishman, expecting his answer. He takes a long sip of tea before answering.
“The Channel.”
From Philosopher Jokes
What did the husband say when he showed his wife the holes in his socks?
Darn.
(well, it is BAD JOKE Friday)
Not jokes, but interesting movie titles:
I Wake Up Screaming
The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave
The General Died at Dawn
Let’s Scare Jessica to Death
Night Train to Chungking
^^^^^
I modified a couple of them:
I Wake Up Itching
Night Heaves from Chungking Cafe
The General Hari-Kari’d at Dawn
^^^^^ Uh, maybe it was Night Plane from Chungking (1943).
I don’t know if it was a good movie or not, but the title is evocative. Wartime espionage in the mysterious far east and all of that.
Joe Biden got 81 million votes!
long-ago pharmacist in my hometow got fired, could not get those little bottles into the typewriter
hometown…shi-ite!
another thinnest-book title:
how to protect white women & children by m. byrd and l. horiuchi
another thinnest-book title: how to protect white women & children by m. byrd & l. horiuchi