Did you hear disgraced former Harvard president claims she invented a new word: Plagirism
9
Why doens’t Biden trust atoms? Because like him, they make up everything.
11
She looks and sounds like she could be Megyn Kelly’s older sister.
5
What did Hunter do with his first 50 cent piece?
He married it.
4
Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” I asked. “It’s not unusual” he replied.
5
I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
14
I wanted to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
5
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
8
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
5
A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left? She calls on little Johnny. He replies, ” None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot.
“The teacher replies, ” The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.” Then little Johnny says “I have a question for you.
There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, “Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Little Johnny replied, “The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on’, but I like your thinking.”
Because she can’t just say no to her dope husband.
4
What’s black & White rolling down the beach?
obama & a seagull fighting over a chicken bone.
5
How many Dimmocraps does it take to screw in a light bulb?
We’ll never know they’re all too busy screwing up our country.
4
Jack Webb told me this one….”Joe Biden”…yeah, I still don’t get it because Jack Webb died in 1982, 4 years after Biden became a Senator….
2
Did you hear about the antenna wedding?
The ceremony was nice, but the reception was fantastic!
6
I walk my dog 3/4 of a mile to the mail box everyday. It’s one less crap I have to clean up in the yard. Two if you count his.
2
What’s E.T. short for?
Because he’s only got little legs..
I apologize.
1
New law started in Hawaii on January first. You can be fined for laughing too loudly or for more than a minute while in public.
.
Stating January 1st if laugh in Hawaii it has to be a low HA!
5
guy goes to a job interview.
Employer “What kind of experience do you have?”
Man “Well at my last job I wrote advertising jingles for a sewing machine company.”
Employer “so you were a singer song writer?’
.
Man, “Yes it would seem sew”
.
5
This one doesn’t work anymore, but I got some mileage out of it –
Hey, it says here that Jeffrey Dahmer got out on parole. He paid an arm and a leg.
3
A priest, a minister and a rabbi play golf – but their tee time is delayed because there is a group of blind players ahead of them.
“God Bless them” said the priest.
“They’re an inspiration” said the minister.
“So why can’t they play at night?” said the rabbi.
5
Joey Biden got 81 million votes!
mortem tyrannis
izlamo delenda est …
12
Hillary is my home girl.
Did you hear about the poor guy who accidentally set his arm on fire while pumping gas. He was charged with possessing an illegal firearm.
2
Sign at a liquor store, liquor in the front, poker in the rear.
2
Can’t go without a Little Johnny joke… even tho itz Saturday.
Little Johnny comes downstairs for breakfast.
Since they live on a farm, his mother asks
if he had done his chores yet.
” Not yet, ” said Little Johnny.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he
does his chores.
Well, he’s a little teed off, so he goes
to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes
to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the
pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and
his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
“How come I don’t get any eggs and
bacon ? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal ?” he asks.
“Well, ” his mother says, ” I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs
for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any
bacon for a week either. I also watched you kick the cow, so for a week
you aren’t getting any milk.”
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast. The cat gets in his way
and he kicks it halfway across the kitchen.
Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a sly little smile, and
says, “You gonna tell him or should I ?”
3
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannd one more… an oldie, but a goodie:
Little Johnny was acting up, driving his Mom crazy. Exasperated, his Mom tells Johnny, “Johnny, why don’t you go down the road and watch the builders where they’re building a house? Maybe you’ll learn something.”
Mom then enjoyed a couple hoursof peace until Johnny returned, upon which Mom asked, “Well Johnny, did you learn anything today?”
Johnny replied, “Sure did! I learned how to hang a door!”
Mom said, “Oh really? Well why don’t you tell me all about it”
Johnny says, “Well, first you slap that fucker up. Then the cocksucker don’t fit. Then you pull the sonofabitch down, shave a cunthair off this side, a cunthair off the other side, and slap it up again and Goddamn if that Motherfucker don’t fit just perfect!”
Appalled, his Mother says, “Johnny! Go to you room and wait until your father gets home!”
When Dad gets home, Mom says, “Johnny’s up in his room. You better go talk to your son about what he told me today.”
Dad goes upstairs and asks Johnny, “What did you tell your mother today?”
Johnny replies, “I told her I learned how to hang a door.”
Dad says, “Yeah, well, tell me about it”
Johnny: “Sure Pop! First you slap that fucker up. Then the cocksucker don’t fit. Then you pull the sonofabitch down, shave a cunthair off this side, a cunthair off the other side, and slap it up again and Goddamn if that Motherfucker don’t fit just perfect!”
Outraged, Dad says “Alright Johnny, that’s it! Go out back and get me a switch!”
To which Little Johnny sez, “Fuck you! That’s the electrician’s job!”
3
Are we really sure that Little Johnny jokes weren’t originally about a mischievous little boy named Calvin?
A man opened a restaurant and nightclub on the moon. A month later he had to shut it down. People complained it had no atmosphere.
2
The constipated mathematician. He worked it out with a pencil.
2
The queer Australian. He left Adelaide and went back to Sydney.
2
Worst job in the Navy. A deck hand on a submarine.
1
sign on w**** house: out to lunch, beat it
What did Claudine Gay say to the press as she cleaned out her desk
“At least you wont have Claudine Gay to kick around any more”
3
Did you hear the one about the guy who had a dog with no legs? Every day he took it out for a scrape.
2
Sign on door of NASA official’s office at 12 noon: Out to Launch.
1
Sign on the doors of the Music Conservatory: “Do Not Use. These Doors Are Baroque”
Did you hear disgraced former Harvard president claims she invented a new word: Plagirism
Why doens’t Biden trust atoms? Because like him, they make up everything.
She looks and sounds like she could be Megyn Kelly’s older sister.
What did Hunter do with his first 50 cent piece?
He married it.
Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” I asked. “It’s not unusual” he replied.
I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
I wanted to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left? She calls on little Johnny. He replies, ” None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot.
“The teacher replies, ” The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.” Then little Johnny says “I have a question for you.
There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, “Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Little Johnny replied, “The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on’, but I like your thinking.”
joe6pak: LOL!
BTW: check out Wendy Bell’s Rumble page: she’s got awsome videos:
https://rumble.com/c/WendyBellRadio
Why does Jill Biden hate Nancy Reagan?
Because she can’t just say no to her dope husband.
What’s black & White rolling down the beach?
obama & a seagull fighting over a chicken bone.
How many Dimmocraps does it take to screw in a light bulb?
We’ll never know they’re all too busy screwing up our country.
Jack Webb told me this one….”Joe Biden”…yeah, I still don’t get it because Jack Webb died in 1982, 4 years after Biden became a Senator….
Did you hear about the antenna wedding?
The ceremony was nice, but the reception was fantastic!
I walk my dog 3/4 of a mile to the mail box everyday. It’s one less crap I have to clean up in the yard. Two if you count his.
What’s E.T. short for?
Because he’s only got little legs..
I apologize.
New law started in Hawaii on January first. You can be fined for laughing too loudly or for more than a minute while in public.
.
Stating January 1st if laugh in Hawaii it has to be a low HA!
guy goes to a job interview.
Employer “What kind of experience do you have?”
Man “Well at my last job I wrote advertising jingles for a sewing machine company.”
Employer “so you were a singer song writer?’
.
Man, “Yes it would seem sew”
.
This one doesn’t work anymore, but I got some mileage out of it –
Hey, it says here that Jeffrey Dahmer got out on parole. He paid an arm and a leg.
A priest, a minister and a rabbi play golf – but their tee time is delayed because there is a group of blind players ahead of them.
“God Bless them” said the priest.
“They’re an inspiration” said the minister.
“So why can’t they play at night?” said the rabbi.
Joey Biden got 81 million votes!
mortem tyrannis
izlamo delenda est …
Hillary is my home girl.
Did you hear about the poor guy who accidentally set his arm on fire while pumping gas. He was charged with possessing an illegal firearm.
Sign at a liquor store, liquor in the front, poker in the rear.
Can’t go without a Little Johnny joke… even tho itz Saturday.
Little Johnny comes downstairs for breakfast.
Since they live on a farm, his mother asks
if he had done his chores yet.
” Not yet, ” said Little Johnny.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he
does his chores.
Well, he’s a little teed off, so he goes
to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes
to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the
pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and
his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
“How come I don’t get any eggs and
bacon ? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal ?” he asks.
“Well, ” his mother says, ” I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs
for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any
bacon for a week either. I also watched you kick the cow, so for a week
you aren’t getting any milk.”
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast. The cat gets in his way
and he kicks it halfway across the kitchen.
Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a sly little smile, and
says, “You gonna tell him or should I ?”
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannd one more… an oldie, but a goodie:
Little Johnny was acting up, driving his Mom crazy. Exasperated, his Mom tells Johnny, “Johnny, why don’t you go down the road and watch the builders where they’re building a house? Maybe you’ll learn something.”
Mom then enjoyed a couple hoursof peace until Johnny returned, upon which Mom asked, “Well Johnny, did you learn anything today?”
Johnny replied, “Sure did! I learned how to hang a door!”
Mom said, “Oh really? Well why don’t you tell me all about it”
Johnny says, “Well, first you slap that fucker up. Then the cocksucker don’t fit. Then you pull the sonofabitch down, shave a cunthair off this side, a cunthair off the other side, and slap it up again and Goddamn if that Motherfucker don’t fit just perfect!”
Appalled, his Mother says, “Johnny! Go to you room and wait until your father gets home!”
When Dad gets home, Mom says, “Johnny’s up in his room. You better go talk to your son about what he told me today.”
Dad goes upstairs and asks Johnny, “What did you tell your mother today?”
Johnny replies, “I told her I learned how to hang a door.”
Dad says, “Yeah, well, tell me about it”
Johnny: “Sure Pop! First you slap that fucker up. Then the cocksucker don’t fit. Then you pull the sonofabitch down, shave a cunthair off this side, a cunthair off the other side, and slap it up again and Goddamn if that Motherfucker don’t fit just perfect!”
Outraged, Dad says “Alright Johnny, that’s it! Go out back and get me a switch!”
To which Little Johnny sez, “Fuck you! That’s the electrician’s job!”
Are we really sure that Little Johnny jokes weren’t originally about a mischievous little boy named Calvin?
A man opened a restaurant and nightclub on the moon. A month later he had to shut it down. People complained it had no atmosphere.
The constipated mathematician. He worked it out with a pencil.
The queer Australian. He left Adelaide and went back to Sydney.
Worst job in the Navy. A deck hand on a submarine.
sign on w**** house: out to lunch, beat it
What did Claudine Gay say to the press as she cleaned out her desk
“At least you wont have Claudine Gay to kick around any more”
Did you hear the one about the guy who had a dog with no legs? Every day he took it out for a scrape.
Sign on door of NASA official’s office at 12 noon: Out to Launch.
Sign on the doors of the Music Conservatory: “Do Not Use. These Doors Are Baroque”