Did you hear about the new movie, “Constipation?” It hasn’t come out yet.
13
A dear friend gave me a gift just before he passed away.
Now, what the hell am I going to do with an EpiPen?
12
The head democrat’s polling must be bad.
I’ve been reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
11
Want to heat a potassium joke? K.
3
Papa mole sticks his head out of the hole and says “I smell pancakes”. Mama mole sticks her head out and says “I smell sausage”. There ‘s no room left for baby mole to stick his head out so he says “All I can smell is molasses”.
15
I’m making a documentary about how to fly a plane.
We’re currently filming the pilot.
10
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we sg any lower people are gonna think we’re nuts
14
Q: Why do raccoons wear work boots?
A: To stomp out forest fires.
3
Q: Why do grizzly bears wear work boots?
A: To stomp out burning raccoons.
6
From today’s dad jokes calendar joke, What do cat actors say when on the stage? “Tabby or not tabby.”
6
Is the first joke “Kamala will make a good president”?
7
Did you hear the one about the vegetarian taxidermist?
2
Where did the Irish family on holiday?
To a different bar.
3
Tim Buktu – we used to say ” kick him in the grapes”
4
Tampon Tim’s son Gus had a flatulence problem. He farted in class, and then all the kids would say Gus cut a whopper. He’d come home embarrassed so his mama gave him a big pickle to keep up his ass so it wouldn’t happen. One day Gus left his pickle in the gender neutral bathroom. The other kids found it and cut it up and put it in the teacher’s sandwich. After lunch Gus ripped another big one, and all the kids said “Gus cut a whopper – teacher ate the stopper !!”.
5
I’m thinking this is the appropriate place to link this. The left has labeled low T Doug Emhoff as a sex symbol. For what I have no idea.
I guess SOME women look at him as a non threat to them, you know, like they view homosexuals.
I’m waiting for a reporter to ask him if Kamala tastes like Willie Brown or Montel Williams when he kisses her.
In the old days, he’d be called a rooster sucker by proxy.
5
“He’s a high-achieving alpha, but isn’t threatened if his wife is, too.”
This level of propaganda would make Joseph Goebbels blush.
4
Why are some mothers SO strong?
From raising dumbbells…
8
Joey Biden got 81 million votes!
And the Camel-Ho’s gonna get 120 million!
Yep – the jokes on us …
4
Today’s dad joke, Did you hear about Moby Dick’s birthday? He had a whale of a party.
3
a. kinzinger…
1
A blonde woman goes to a psychiatrist because she’s worried about her husband’s temper.
The doctor asks: “What’s the problem?
The woman says: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.”
The doctor says: “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish and swish, but don’t swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. She says, “Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”
The doctor says: “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.
How do you make Mogen David wine?
You kick him in the groin.
Did you hear about the new movie, “Constipation?” It hasn’t come out yet.
A dear friend gave me a gift just before he passed away.
Now, what the hell am I going to do with an EpiPen?
The head democrat’s polling must be bad.
I’ve been reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Want to heat a potassium joke? K.
Papa mole sticks his head out of the hole and says “I smell pancakes”. Mama mole sticks her head out and says “I smell sausage”. There ‘s no room left for baby mole to stick his head out so he says “All I can smell is molasses”.
I’m making a documentary about how to fly a plane.
We’re currently filming the pilot.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we sg any lower people are gonna think we’re nuts
Q: Why do raccoons wear work boots?
A: To stomp out forest fires.
Q: Why do grizzly bears wear work boots?
A: To stomp out burning raccoons.
From today’s dad jokes calendar joke, What do cat actors say when on the stage? “Tabby or not tabby.”
Is the first joke “Kamala will make a good president”?
Did you hear the one about the vegetarian taxidermist?
Where did the Irish family on holiday?
To a different bar.
Tim Buktu – we used to say ” kick him in the grapes”
Tampon Tim’s son Gus had a flatulence problem. He farted in class, and then all the kids would say Gus cut a whopper. He’d come home embarrassed so his mama gave him a big pickle to keep up his ass so it wouldn’t happen. One day Gus left his pickle in the gender neutral bathroom. The other kids found it and cut it up and put it in the teacher’s sandwich. After lunch Gus ripped another big one, and all the kids said “Gus cut a whopper – teacher ate the stopper !!”.
I’m thinking this is the appropriate place to link this. The left has labeled low T Doug Emhoff as a sex symbol. For what I have no idea.
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2024/08/pass-sick-bag-washington-post-declares-philanderer-doug/
I guess SOME women look at him as a non threat to them, you know, like they view homosexuals.
I’m waiting for a reporter to ask him if Kamala tastes like Willie Brown or Montel Williams when he kisses her.
In the old days, he’d be called a rooster sucker by proxy.
“He’s a high-achieving alpha, but isn’t threatened if his wife is, too.”
This level of propaganda would make Joseph Goebbels blush.
Why are some mothers SO strong?
From raising dumbbells…
Joey Biden got 81 million votes!
And the Camel-Ho’s gonna get 120 million!
Yep – the jokes on us …
Today’s dad joke, Did you hear about Moby Dick’s birthday? He had a whale of a party.
a. kinzinger…
A blonde woman goes to a psychiatrist because she’s worried about her husband’s temper.
The doctor asks: “What’s the problem?
The woman says: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.”
The doctor says: “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish and swish, but don’t swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. She says, “Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”
The doctor says: “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.
crime-ala is the ‘head’ pedocrat/democrat
More from Dr. Malone:
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdf23424b-a7a7-4f7a-8e49-2c165f83dbaa_1504x1262.png
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4c9c305a-5047-43dd-9f4f-8b5dbd03dcb4_930x912.png
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd4dddbd2-7a73-44f4-b34e-3619149cb550_964x714.png
Karl Schmidt SATURDAY, 24 AUGUST 2024, 13:48 AT 1:48 PM
If I had to pick only one, that one is my favorite today. 🙂
I got nuthin’ to add, just wanted to tip my hat.
This is how people in Georgia (US) pronounce Ice Cream: Ayass Cream. Ask a person form Georgia and y’all will see what I’m talking about.