Why did the chicken cross the road…to vote for Trump!
7
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The Haitian neighbors chased her.
9
I have no bad jokes for today except to pray that our nation, one nation under God with liberty and justice for all doesn’t end up as the ultimate failed bad joke if Harris/Walz become our next president and VP.
4
So a guy walks into a doctor’s office late one night and says, “Doc you gotta help me.”
The doc’s surprised since they were closed, but he asks him anyway what’s the problem?
The guy says, “I think I’m a moth.”
Doc says, “I understand that could be a problem but I’m a surgeon. I think you need a psychiatrist.”
Guy says, “Yeah, I know, but your light was on.”
Have I already posted that before? If so, that makes it really bad joke.
5
Guy walks into a bar and notices a sign that reads:
Hot dog 2
Hamburger 3
Handjob 10
‘He calls over the very attractive young bartender and ask if she is the one who gives the hand jobs. She says with a mischievous smile that she is.
The guy looks at her and says, “Go wash your hands and get me two hamburgers.”
Go wash your hands and get ome two hamburgers
10
Joey Biden got 81 million votes!
Yep. The joke’s on America.
4
Ever heard about the young postitutor from San Francisco?
She really sucked at her job!
8
My Bank keeps calling me to give me compliments. They say I have an “outstanding balance”!
6
Everyone asked a 100 year-year old man and his 98 year old wife for their health secrets. The old man said “I promised my wife that when we quarrel, the loser has to walk for three miles. So I have been walking three miles every day for the past 75 years”! People applauded and asked, “but how is your wife so healthy too?” “That’s another secret, Every day for 75 years she’s followed me to make sure I walk the full three miles.”
5
A cartoon from the 1920’a.
A guy and his girlfriend were sitting under a tree on a nice day.
The guy has a book of Kipling’s works – poems or whatever. He says to the girl: Do you like Kipling?
The girl answers: I don’t know, I’ve never Kippled.
6
A boxer in the 1930’s got knocked out in the ring and stayed unconscious for a while. His handlers took him to a hospital to get him checked out.
His condition improved overnight, and he was discharged the next morning. A group of sports reporters waited for him at the hospital door. They asked him how everything went.
The boxer replied: Uh, they checked my brain but didn’t find nuttin’.
3
What do you call a teacher who never farts?
A Private Tooter.
4
Why did the prositutor cross the road?
To run for president!
(I will stop now😁😎🕺)
5
Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me today. Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil.
12
I hope that that joke wasn’t told on porpoise or just for the halibut.
4
Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? There was nothing left but debris.
5
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I’m going to the liquor store and I’m scared it will be closed.
6
@Wild Bill
Claustrophobia could also be a fear of Santa Claus.
2
Italian Cheese Monster: Gorgonzola.
@ 0824: ur deadly
female fish to male fish: not tonight dear, i have a haddock. told many times.
1
matricide: when you kill your mattress
Mattress-Oedipus Complex – when you love your own mattress.
Puerto Rican Female eel to Puerto Rican male eel: not tonight dear, I’m eel.
Why did the chicken cross the road…to vote for Trump!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The Haitian neighbors chased her.
I have no bad jokes for today except to pray that our nation, one nation under God with liberty and justice for all doesn’t end up as the ultimate failed bad joke if Harris/Walz become our next president and VP.
So a guy walks into a doctor’s office late one night and says, “Doc you gotta help me.”
The doc’s surprised since they were closed, but he asks him anyway what’s the problem?
The guy says, “I think I’m a moth.”
Doc says, “I understand that could be a problem but I’m a surgeon. I think you need a psychiatrist.”
Guy says, “Yeah, I know, but your light was on.”
Have I already posted that before? If so, that makes it really bad joke.
Guy walks into a bar and notices a sign that reads:
Hot dog 2
Hamburger 3
Handjob 10
‘He calls over the very attractive young bartender and ask if she is the one who gives the hand jobs. She says with a mischievous smile that she is.
The guy looks at her and says, “Go wash your hands and get me two hamburgers.”
Go wash your hands and get ome two hamburgers
Joey Biden got 81 million votes!
Yep. The joke’s on America.
Ever heard about the young postitutor from San Francisco?
She really sucked at her job!
My Bank keeps calling me to give me compliments. They say I have an “outstanding balance”!
Everyone asked a 100 year-year old man and his 98 year old wife for their health secrets. The old man said “I promised my wife that when we quarrel, the loser has to walk for three miles. So I have been walking three miles every day for the past 75 years”! People applauded and asked, “but how is your wife so healthy too?” “That’s another secret, Every day for 75 years she’s followed me to make sure I walk the full three miles.”
A cartoon from the 1920’a.
A guy and his girlfriend were sitting under a tree on a nice day.
The guy has a book of Kipling’s works – poems or whatever. He says to the girl: Do you like Kipling?
The girl answers: I don’t know, I’ve never Kippled.
A boxer in the 1930’s got knocked out in the ring and stayed unconscious for a while. His handlers took him to a hospital to get him checked out.
His condition improved overnight, and he was discharged the next morning. A group of sports reporters waited for him at the hospital door. They asked him how everything went.
The boxer replied: Uh, they checked my brain but didn’t find nuttin’.
What do you call a teacher who never farts?
A Private Tooter.
Why did the prositutor cross the road?
To run for president!
(I will stop now😁😎🕺)
Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me today. Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil.
I hope that that joke wasn’t told on porpoise or just for the halibut.
Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? There was nothing left but debris.
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I’m going to the liquor store and I’m scared it will be closed.
@Wild Bill
Claustrophobia could also be a fear of Santa Claus.
Italian Cheese Monster: Gorgonzola.
@ 0824: ur deadly
female fish to male fish: not tonight dear, i have a haddock. told many times.
matricide: when you kill your mattress
Mattress-Oedipus Complex – when you love your own mattress.
Puerto Rican Female eel to Puerto Rican male eel: not tonight dear, I’m eel.