Bad Joke Friday!!! – IOTW Report

Bad Joke Friday!!!

The Wendy Bell Radio Show has the jokes.

21 Comments on Bad Joke Friday!!!

  1. Hubby takes his wife to a Dance club.
    There they see a guy on the dance floor break dancing,
    moon walking, doing back-flips and the whole works!

    The wife turns to Hubby and says with a smile:
    “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me
    and I turned him down”.

    The husband says:
    “Looks like he’s still celebrating!”

    16
  2. A man goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted.
    She pulls out the syringe to give him a few shots of novacaine and the man exclaims:
    “Uh, uh. No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the man exclaims.

    So she starts to hook up the nitrous tank and he says:
    “I can’t do the gas thing either. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me”.

    So she asks him if he has any objections to taking a pill.

    Nope. I’m fine with pills”

    So the lady dentist gives him two little blue pills and he swallows them and asks “what are they?”

    “Viagra” she calmly replies.

    “Well I’ll be damned! I didn’t know Viagra works as a pain killer!”

    “It doesn’t” said the lady dentist.
    “But at least it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your damn tooth out!”

    6
  3. A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor in Bonita Springs ,
    and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
    After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
    The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’
    ‘Nope,’ he replied, ‘hemorrhoids!
    … ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ …

    6
  4. Once upon a time in Africa.

    What did the Giraffe say to his pals the lion and rhinocerous when he took them into a saloon for some drinks?

    Hey guys, the highballs are on me.

    5
  5. I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business when
    this fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, 
    “You’re kinda cute.  You gotta phone number?” 
    I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?  She said,  “Yeah, I got a pen”. 
    I said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.” 
    Cost me 6 stitches…but, 
    When you’re over seventy…………who gives a shit? 

    13
  6. I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts. 
    “Really,” she said, “Go on then.. try.” 
    After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose her patience and said,  “Come on, what day was I born? 
    I said, “Yesterday.” 
    Cost me a kick in the nuts, but hey …  
    When you’re over seventy…………who gives a shit?

    9

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