Hubby takes his wife to a Dance club.
There they see a guy on the dance floor break dancing,
moon walking, doing back-flips and the whole works!
The wife turns to Hubby and says with a smile:
“See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me
and I turned him down”.
The husband says:
“Looks like he’s still celebrating!”
16
For most of my life I wondered on what day the Three Wise Men encountered the Christ Child
Then, this year on Jan 6 I had an epiphany
6
A man goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted.
She pulls out the syringe to give him a few shots of novacaine and the man exclaims:
“Uh, uh. No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the man exclaims.
So she starts to hook up the nitrous tank and he says:
“I can’t do the gas thing either. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me”.
So she asks him if he has any objections to taking a pill.
Nope. I’m fine with pills”
So the lady dentist gives him two little blue pills and he swallows them and asks “what are they?”
“Viagra” she calmly replies.
“Well I’ll be damned! I didn’t know Viagra works as a pain killer!”
“It doesn’t” said the lady dentist.
“But at least it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your damn tooth out!”
6
4 pedocrats got married in a bathtub – 1 couple at a time. it was a double ring ceremony.
3
Q: Why don’t older married women like to have sex?
A: Their husbands
Q: Why do so many older married men have ED?
A: Their wives.
2
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor in Bonita Springs ,
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’
‘Nope,’ he replied, ‘hemorrhoids!
… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ …
6
Once upon a time in Africa.
What did the Giraffe say to his pals the lion and rhinocerous when he took them into a saloon for some drinks?
Hey guys, the highballs are on me.
5
Knock, knock.
“Who’s there?”
“Death.”
“Death who?”
“Death knocking at your door.”
“Go a”
4
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they’re ugly and they stink!
3
I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business when
this fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,
“You’re kinda cute. You gotta phone number?”
I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen? She said, “Yeah, I got a pen”.
I said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.”
Cost me 6 stitches…but,
When you’re over seventy…………who gives a shit?
13
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
“Really,” she said, “Go on then.. try.”
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose her patience and said, “Come on, what day was I born?
I said, “Yesterday.”
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but hey …
When you’re over seventy…………who gives a shit?
9
Why do they give Viagra to old guys in nursing homes? So, they won’t roll out of bed.
5
What’s the difference between a queer and a refrigerator?
The fridge doesn’t fart when you take out the meat.
4
… I was talking to the duck …
What’s the difference between snowmen and snow-women?
Snowballs.
2
A bunch of queers were sitting in a hot tub, when suddenly, a blob of semen bubbled to the top.
Attractive Lady, Good Humor, Beautiful Family, Conservative and a real pleasure to watch her program.
Why are homosexuals like gophers?
Because they both love going into holes.
Didja hear about the guy that had a Roman nose?
Yeah, it roamed all over his face.
Naa, that’s alright, you can have the duck.
Buddy Hackett did the duck joke better – starts at 3:48…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aww4HT5g7ig
Hubby takes his wife to a Dance club.
There they see a guy on the dance floor break dancing,
moon walking, doing back-flips and the whole works!
The wife turns to Hubby and says with a smile:
“See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me
and I turned him down”.
The husband says:
“Looks like he’s still celebrating!”
For most of my life I wondered on what day the Three Wise Men encountered the Christ Child
Then, this year on Jan 6 I had an epiphany
A man goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted.
She pulls out the syringe to give him a few shots of novacaine and the man exclaims:
“Uh, uh. No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the man exclaims.
So she starts to hook up the nitrous tank and he says:
“I can’t do the gas thing either. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me”.
So she asks him if he has any objections to taking a pill.
Nope. I’m fine with pills”
So the lady dentist gives him two little blue pills and he swallows them and asks “what are they?”
“Viagra” she calmly replies.
“Well I’ll be damned! I didn’t know Viagra works as a pain killer!”
“It doesn’t” said the lady dentist.
“But at least it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your damn tooth out!”
4 pedocrats got married in a bathtub – 1 couple at a time. it was a double ring ceremony.
Q: Why don’t older married women like to have sex?
A: Their husbands
Q: Why do so many older married men have ED?
A: Their wives.
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor in Bonita Springs ,
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’
‘Nope,’ he replied, ‘hemorrhoids!
… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ …
Once upon a time in Africa.
What did the Giraffe say to his pals the lion and rhinocerous when he took them into a saloon for some drinks?
Hey guys, the highballs are on me.
Knock, knock.
“Who’s there?”
“Death.”
“Death who?”
“Death knocking at your door.”
“Go a”
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they’re ugly and they stink!
I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business when
this fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,
“You’re kinda cute. You gotta phone number?”
I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen? She said, “Yeah, I got a pen”.
I said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.”
Cost me 6 stitches…but,
When you’re over seventy…………who gives a shit?
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
“Really,” she said, “Go on then.. try.”
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose her patience and said, “Come on, what day was I born?
I said, “Yesterday.”
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but hey …
When you’re over seventy…………who gives a shit?
Why do they give Viagra to old guys in nursing homes? So, they won’t roll out of bed.
What’s the difference between a queer and a refrigerator?
The fridge doesn’t fart when you take out the meat.
… I was talking to the duck …
What’s the difference between snowmen and snow-women?
Snowballs.
A bunch of queers were sitting in a hot tub, when suddenly, a blob of semen bubbled to the top.
One of them asked: OK, who farted?