Hey, did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony was a little boring, but the reception was great!
6
I went to this Chinese restaurant and the lights were way too bright. I asked the waitress if she could dim sum.
6
There was an old man from Nantucket
With ear hair so long he could tuck it
In back and around
From his chin to his crown
And he swore that he never would pluck it.
6
@Uncle
That’s the cleanest Nantucket limerick ever.
9
4 pedocrats got married in a bathtub, 1 couple @ a time. it was a ‘double-ring’ ceremony
3
Maldhoom lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.
One day the dog died, and Maldhoom went to the parish priest and asked,
“Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?”
Father Patrick replied,
“I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.”
Maldhoom said,
“I’ll go right away Father. Do ya ‘think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?”
Father Patrick exclaimed,
“Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?”
13
Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race. Apparently, he’s been using performance enhancing rugs!
7
Are these contradictory?
Glass Marbles.
Giant Shrimp.
Intelligent Liberals.
6
Tim, it’s a real study in human behavior.
Most offensive are the liberals with their beliefs set in stone….who then become so self-assured that they possess the highest intelligence on the planet.
The smell of their snobby arrogance is pungent.
4
Joey Biden, the Pedophile Usurper, got 81 million votes!
4
@Tim Buktu:
@Uncle — That’s the cleanest Nantucket limerick ever.
LOL! It’s original. I wrote it for an informal limerick contest and it was the winner!
7
What’s the first thing Adam said to Eve?
“STAND BACK!!! I don’t know how big this things gonna get!!”
1
The other version of the above joke is, What did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him naked? Ooh, that’s a big one.
Adam: every time I look at you, it gets big. Any idea what am I aupposed to do with it?
Eve: Gee that’s a hard one.
1
Boris Ivan, the old Russian Commissar
Spit, pissed and shat in his samovar.
A pervert named Lee
Stopped by for some tea
And exclaimed “Quite the best that I’ve had so far!”
Hey, did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony was a little boring, but the reception was great!
I went to this Chinese restaurant and the lights were way too bright. I asked the waitress if she could dim sum.
There was an old man from Nantucket
With ear hair so long he could tuck it
In back and around
From his chin to his crown
And he swore that he never would pluck it.
@Uncle
That’s the cleanest Nantucket limerick ever.
4 pedocrats got married in a bathtub, 1 couple @ a time. it was a ‘double-ring’ ceremony
Maldhoom lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.
One day the dog died, and Maldhoom went to the parish priest and asked,
“Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?”
Father Patrick replied,
“I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.”
Maldhoom said,
“I’ll go right away Father. Do ya ‘think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?”
Father Patrick exclaimed,
“Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?”
Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race. Apparently, he’s been using performance enhancing rugs!
Are these contradictory?
Glass Marbles.
Giant Shrimp.
Intelligent Liberals.
Tim, it’s a real study in human behavior.
Most offensive are the liberals with their beliefs set in stone….who then become so self-assured that they possess the highest intelligence on the planet.
The smell of their snobby arrogance is pungent.
Joey Biden, the Pedophile Usurper, got 81 million votes!
@Tim Buktu:
LOL! It’s original. I wrote it for an informal limerick contest and it was the winner!
What’s the first thing Adam said to Eve?
“STAND BACK!!! I don’t know how big this things gonna get!!”
The other version of the above joke is, What did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him naked? Ooh, that’s a big one.
Adam: every time I look at you, it gets big. Any idea what am I aupposed to do with it?
Eve: Gee that’s a hard one.
Boris Ivan, the old Russian Commissar
Spit, pissed and shat in his samovar.
A pervert named Lee
Stopped by for some tea
And exclaimed “Quite the best that I’ve had so far!”