Bad Joke Friday! – IOTW Report

Bad Joke Friday!

Friday, 13 December 2024, 21:00 MJA Uncategorized 19

With Wendy and Brock! Starts at 2:53:30

19 Comments on Bad Joke Friday!

  2. Today’s bad jokes:

    1: Caitlin Clark

    2: Why did McConnell get washed in the kitchen sink? Because thats where wash vegetables.

    3: If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?

    4: Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?
    A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

    9

  6. It was Halloween 1999. A lot of people were on edge then because of Y2K fears – zombies may come out of their graves and rapid wolfmen will attack and devour people, or simply the entire world may implode on Jan 1, 2000. Nobody knew what to expect.

    In Los Angeles, at the West Side Morgue, a janitor was working late. The rest of the morgue staff left early, and not realizing the Janitor was still working in the Preparation Room mopping the floor, they unintentionally locked him in there and then set the alarm.

    After awhile the janitor realized he was alone and was locked into the Prep Room with six fresh corpses. He was a simple man, believing in things he had seen in movies, such as vampires and zombies.

    At one am he heard several popping sounds, along with a noxious odor permeating the room. The poor man knew instantly that the noise and smell came from the corpses. He thought they had come back to life as zombies. By now he was terrified and shaking uncontrollably. There was no way out – no windows and the door was securely locked. He literally went crazy from fear, as psychiatrists later confirmed.

    The next day, morgue staffers found him in a corner of the Prep Room in the fetal position, trembling and crying. They called the police and ambulance and the man was taken to a mental hospital in Hollywood. He was a patient there for seven months, under the care of hospital psychiatrists, and then released. The doctors convinced him the sounds were just “corpse gas” being released and not zombies and he partly regained his sanity. Although still scarred by the experience, he realized at the mental hospital that a lot of people in LA were crazier than he.

    One year later he ran for LA mayor and won in a landslide.

    7

  7. Went to school with a deaf mute Triplets with no arms and legs.
    One we hung on his locker and called him Art.
    The second one always laid in the doorway so we named him Matt.
    The third one joined the swim team so we called him Bob.
    They still give out scholarships in memory of Bob.

    6

  15. A woman walked into a stationary store and said “I would like to buy some nice pens for my son!” “Is this a Christmas surprise” asked the salesman? “Probably,” the woman replied “He’s expecting an IPhone.

    1

  18. The kids and I were sitting in the living room when they asked me if I had a living will. So I said to them: “Look, I never want to live in a Biden state of existence, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”

    With that they got up, unplugged the computer and threw out my beer!

    2

  19. Nancy Pelosi fell and injured herself while trying to get on the wagon.

    From the Hospital she told reporters: I’ve never tried that before. I’m never going to try that again. Screw it.

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