Bad Joke Friday! – IOTW Report

Bad Joke Friday!

On Saturday!

44 Comments on Bad Joke Friday!

  1. A priest a rabbi and a minister go to play a round of golf.
    They are told a blind group is ahead so tee time will be delayed.
    The priest says “Bless them”
    The minister says “What an inspiration”
    The rabbi says “So, why can’t they play at night?”

    23
  2. An English Edumacation Update for today:

    No dictionary has ever been able to satisfactorily define the
    difference between “complete” and “finished.”
    However, during a recent linguistic conference, held in
    London, and attended by some of the best
    linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin,
    a Guyanese linguist, was the
    presenter when he was asked to make that very distinction.

    The question put to him by a colleague in the audience was
    this: Some say there is no difference between
    complete and finished.
    Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand.

    Mr. Balgobins response: When you marry the right woman,
    you are complete. If you marry the wrong woman, you are finished.
    And, if the right one catches you with the wrong one,
    you are “Completely finished”.

    His answer received a five minute standing ovation

    17
  3. Texas oil wildcatter dies, finds himself at the end of a mile long line seeking entrance to the pearly gates..line barely moves after an hour so he walks ahead to St. Peter who is vetting the supplicants and asks him if all of the people in line decide to seek entrance into hell, would he be able to get into heaven..St. Peter laughs, says yes to the oilman but points out that this would never happen. An hour later everyone except the Wildcatter leaves the line..St. Peter is aghast and asks the Wildcatter how was this accomplished. The Wildcatter tells him that he started a rumor that there was a major oil discovery in Hell and that leases were cheap for now until word gets out. St. Peter , looking sad at this tells the Wildcatter that the gates are open for him, but the Wildcatter just stares at the heaven beyond…Go on in friend says St. Peter but the Wildcatter turns to him and says, you know, that rumor just might be true and walks away.

    5
  4. Stolen and reworded from the movie, The Boondock Saints:

    A black American, an illegal alien, and a white American are walking down a beach and see a lamp in the sand. One of them picks up the lamp and a genie pops out. The genie offers each a single wish.

    The black guy asks if he and all his fellow blacks could move back to Africa and live happy lives without whitey around to screw things up. Poof, the black guy disappears along with all other black Americans.

    The illegal alien asks, “I wish all of our homelands were as nice as America and we could all go back home.” Poof, the illegal alien and all other illegal aliens are gone.

    The genie asks the white guy what he wants. The white guy asks, “Are you telling me that all the blacks and illegal aliens are now gone from America?”. “Yes”, the genie replies. The white guy makes his request, “Okay, then I’ll have nice cold beer.”

    4
  5. Tim Buktu SATURDAY, 27 JANUARY 2024, 20:41 AT 8:41 PM

    II heard it as “Irish foreplay.” (Bridget)

    Jewish foreplay three hours of begging and pleading.

    How can you tell when a Jewish woman has an orgasm?
    She drops her nail file.

    1
  6. What do WASP people do when discover they have to pee while taking a shower?

    They get out of the shower, dry themselves off, go over to the toilet, empty their bladder, then get back in the shower.

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