Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die?
They dilate.
10
A middle aged divorcee decides to buy himself a new Corvette. He gets on the Interstate and wats to see what it will do. He blazes by a state trooper and floors it for a few seconds after the blue lights come on, he comes to his senses, pulls over, and waits for the trooper to catch up. The trooper comes up to the car and appreciating the older man had done the right thing. Trooper says this is the end of my shift and Id on’t want to do the paperwork associated with this extreme speed; give me a reasonable reason not to arrest you and I will let you go. The man thinks for a second and says my wife ran off with a trooper. The trooper says “how is that an excuse?” The man says “I thought you were trying to bring her back!” Trooer says “slow down and have a nice evening”
9
Claudia
Friday, 17 October 2025, 18:12 at 6:12 pm
“Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die?
They dilate.”
…that joke is FAR too Dad for you, young lady! Only a man wearing white socks and beach sandals with his Hawaiian shorts pulled up to his armpits is properly equipped to deliver something like that!
3
SNS, maybe I’ll have to be an old Dad for Halloween! Hehe
5
NNEA last update on the Human Nostril Expedition.
Mission Control provided instructions to the crew about how to extricate Capt. Frances from being stuck in the MM. The crew used the small explosives they had in the capsule to blast holes in the MM, then got close enough to manually pull out Capt. Frances. Once they got him safely back on board, Commander Krumph was told to head back down the nostril passage and get the capsule out ASAP. The last part of the mission, to climb further up the MM, was aborted.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger. Why was the MM getting so thick? We weren’t expecting that.
Mission Control: The subject got a bad cold. The MM will always expand in those cases.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger, we’re heading home.
Mission Control. Roger – keep us informed.
Cmdr Krumph: Mission Control – we’re all hearing a big rumbling sound and the capsule is shaking…have you guys at Mission Control identified it?
Mission Control: GET TO THE SIDE OF THE NOSTRIL, AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN TO THE WALL.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger. We are as far as we can get close to the nostril wall. We’re seeing a huge ball of something coming down toward us…what is it? It’s just like that movie where Indiana Jones is chased down a tunnel by a huge stone ball and…
Mission Control: Yes, yes, just like Indiana Jones…our radar and sensors failed to pick it up till just a few seconds ago. It’s a big booger….a Rogue Booger…unexpected…it’s a Rogue Booger…it looks like it has now passed. Is everyone safe?
Cmdr Krumph: We’re all OK. Wow, we’re lucky to be alive.
Mission Control: Now get down as close as possible to the nostril opening and wait for the next out blast of air…the Rogue Booger has passed out of the nostril so the crew should be OK. Wait for the next blast of air – that’ll get you out of there and headed home.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger that..see ya soon.
In the After-action report, NNEA Mission Control informed the group that the nostril doner had unfortunately contracted pneumonia. “You crew members got out just in time before you got it”.
1
Recent ridiculous MSN headlines:
Prosecution’s weak spot in Charlie Kirk assassination case emerges: expert.
-liberals are hanging big hopes for acquittal on the thinnest of spider’s webs.
Julia Robert’s New Hair Is the Shortest It’s Been in Decades
-But it makes her mouth look even bigger.
What Lies Inside the 40 Mile Cave No One Is Allowed to Enter
-If no one is allowed to enter, how does anyone know what’s inside?
I was a die-hard Taylor Swift fan for years. With her new album, I’m resigning as a Swiftie.
-She personally handed her resignation letter to Taylor.
George Santos walks into a bar…
Very likely since Trump just commuted his prison sentence.
5
Banana Hats
1
^^^^^
There is a law-abiding, legal immigrant from Albania who is the complete opposite of George Santos.
His name is Egroeg Sotnas.
4
Science joke:
What did the tectonic plate say when he bumped into the other tectonic plate?
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die?
They dilate.
A middle aged divorcee decides to buy himself a new Corvette. He gets on the Interstate and wats to see what it will do. He blazes by a state trooper and floors it for a few seconds after the blue lights come on, he comes to his senses, pulls over, and waits for the trooper to catch up. The trooper comes up to the car and appreciating the older man had done the right thing. Trooper says this is the end of my shift and Id on’t want to do the paperwork associated with this extreme speed; give me a reasonable reason not to arrest you and I will let you go. The man thinks for a second and says my wife ran off with a trooper. The trooper says “how is that an excuse?” The man says “I thought you were trying to bring her back!” Trooer says “slow down and have a nice evening”
Claudia
Friday, 17 October 2025, 18:12 at 6:12 pm
“Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die?
They dilate.”
…that joke is FAR too Dad for you, young lady! Only a man wearing white socks and beach sandals with his Hawaiian shorts pulled up to his armpits is properly equipped to deliver something like that!
SNS, maybe I’ll have to be an old Dad for Halloween! Hehe
NNEA last update on the Human Nostril Expedition.
Mission Control provided instructions to the crew about how to extricate Capt. Frances from being stuck in the MM. The crew used the small explosives they had in the capsule to blast holes in the MM, then got close enough to manually pull out Capt. Frances. Once they got him safely back on board, Commander Krumph was told to head back down the nostril passage and get the capsule out ASAP. The last part of the mission, to climb further up the MM, was aborted.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger. Why was the MM getting so thick? We weren’t expecting that.
Mission Control: The subject got a bad cold. The MM will always expand in those cases.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger, we’re heading home.
Mission Control. Roger – keep us informed.
Cmdr Krumph: Mission Control – we’re all hearing a big rumbling sound and the capsule is shaking…have you guys at Mission Control identified it?
Mission Control: GET TO THE SIDE OF THE NOSTRIL, AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN TO THE WALL.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger. We are as far as we can get close to the nostril wall. We’re seeing a huge ball of something coming down toward us…what is it? It’s just like that movie where Indiana Jones is chased down a tunnel by a huge stone ball and…
Mission Control: Yes, yes, just like Indiana Jones…our radar and sensors failed to pick it up till just a few seconds ago. It’s a big booger….a Rogue Booger…unexpected…it’s a Rogue Booger…it looks like it has now passed. Is everyone safe?
Cmdr Krumph: We’re all OK. Wow, we’re lucky to be alive.
Mission Control: Now get down as close as possible to the nostril opening and wait for the next out blast of air…the Rogue Booger has passed out of the nostril so the crew should be OK. Wait for the next blast of air – that’ll get you out of there and headed home.
Cmdr Krumph: Roger that..see ya soon.
In the After-action report, NNEA Mission Control informed the group that the nostril doner had unfortunately contracted pneumonia. “You crew members got out just in time before you got it”.
Recent ridiculous MSN headlines:
Prosecution’s weak spot in Charlie Kirk assassination case emerges: expert.
-liberals are hanging big hopes for acquittal on the thinnest of spider’s webs.
Julia Robert’s New Hair Is the Shortest It’s Been in Decades
-But it makes her mouth look even bigger.
What Lies Inside the 40 Mile Cave No One Is Allowed to Enter
-If no one is allowed to enter, how does anyone know what’s inside?
I was a die-hard Taylor Swift fan for years. With her new album, I’m resigning as a Swiftie.
-She personally handed her resignation letter to Taylor.
George Santos walks into a bar…
Very likely since Trump just commuted his prison sentence.
Banana Hats
^^^^^
There is a law-abiding, legal immigrant from Albania who is the complete opposite of George Santos.
His name is Egroeg Sotnas.
Science joke:
What did the tectonic plate say when he bumped into the other tectonic plate?
Sorry, my fault.
Science Joke.
Why did the germ cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.