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Brought to you by the Wendy Bell Radio program.
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Today’s bad dad joke from my 2024 bad dad joke calendar, The only thing that flat-earthers fear is sphere itself.
AND IN THIS CORNER, WE HAVE THE NAKED FAT LADY WHO HAS “W” TATTOOED ON BOTH CHEEKS
WHEN SHE DOES BENDS OVER, HER BUTT SAYS “WOW”
AND WHEN DOES CARTWHEELS, HER BUTT SAYS ” WOM MOM WOW”
“WOW MOM WOW”
😡
Dear ms Wendy
Will U be my Valentine?
Call Me
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
A Blonde woman is walking along the river & sees another blonde woman across the river.
“Hey, how do I get to the other side?” She says.
“You’re already on the other side”, the other responds.
Supreme court slaps down Colorado’s 14th amendment charge.
Maybe not a joke but I found it to be funny.
repeat: how to tell a dead skunk in the road from a dead lawyer in the road…braking/skid marks leading to the skunk
A serviceman was heading home after his enlistment was over. He decided to take the train. As he sat in the car, Nancy entered. Before he could change cars, Stacy Abrams waddle up and squeezed into the carriage. The first word out of Abrams was open the window I can’t breathe. Nancy shouted keep the window closed I’ll freeze. They kept arguing with the porter. Finally, he turned to the serviceman and said that the Army trains you innovate. How would you handle this? The serviceman answered open the window and freeze the one, then close it and smother the other.
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic.
The nurse asked the rabbit ” What is your blood type?”
“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.
speaking of rabbits:
A woman and her husband are driving down the highway, when all of a sudden – splat – they’ve hit something furry
The woman pulls over, gets out and looks behind the car. A little bunny is squashed on the side of the road. The man, coming up behind him, says “Oh poor little guy.”
“It’s OK,” says the woman, “I’ve got just the thing.” She goes back, rummages in her handbag, and comes back with a spray can. She takes off the lid and generously sprays it over the rabbit.
It pops back up onto its feet, waves at them, and scurries a few meters into the bushes. Then it pauses, turns around and waves at them, and scampers off a bit further. It pauses, turns around and waves yet again. This continues until it’s out of sight, hopping and waving.
“That’s amazing!” says the man, “What was that?”
She passes him the can and he reads the label on the side – “Hair Restorer with Permanent Wave”.
Did you ever stop to think that there is no possible way that -EVERYBODY- was Kung Fu fighting?
I’m just pondering: Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
He who groans first
Groans last too
If a stork delivers straight babies, what kind of bird delivers gay babies?
A swallow.
David, yer killin’ me!
Do you how to tell if a senator has been in the law library?
All the pages are bent over.
Tijuana weather forecast for today:
Chili Today, Hot Tamale.
What did the bald man say when he got a brush and comb set gift for his birthday?
Thanks, I’ll never part with it.
How old is Dad?
Im so old that .. when I read “1984” it was still set in the future
I have vivid memories of seeing OJ run away on live TV .. from linebacker and safeties
Im so old I can remember
When teams dreaded playing the Cowboys in the playoffs
When I looked forward to watching the Lions play on Thanksgiving
When the Phoenix Suns at least looked respectable when they choked
Know why there weren’t any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
They’re not going to work in the future either.
Dear Santa,
I am trying to learn skills in life and am practicing my letter writing for you now so i will know what to do wjen it comes time for Christmas again. I want to know what to get dad for christmas in advance.
I do not know what to do. Am i supposed to watch the game and watch dad drink that blue stuff with his friends? Or am i not supposed to watch those funny looking girly guys? I am seeing what confusions looks like and want to ask you for advice in advance,
I am also going to writye to president trump and ask for advice too and that will help me with my math classes too.
Thank you Santa
In Advance
Little Mac
Why did the Australian chicken cross the road?
Ta get to th’ otha soide, maite.
What disease kills millions of Mexican chickens every year?
Poll-io.
Biden got 81 million votes!
A Zinger:
Noel Coward to Edna Ferber: You look almost like a man.
Edna Ferber to Noel Coward: So do you.
@Claudia
And none of their fists were as fast as lightning either…which is the speed of light, I think. That’s the speed limit of the universe.
So, if anyone claims their fists are as fast as lightning, tell them to go eff themselves.
Why do chickens continue to run around after someone chops off their heads?
Because their brains, such as they are, are in their feet.
What sound does a hare-lip dog make?
Mark, Mark.