Bad JOKES – IOTW Report

Bad JOKES

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Here are Wendy and Brock with Bad Joke Friday. Starts at 2:52

14 Comments on Bad JOKES

  1. From General Statistics Jokes.

    Why do people decide to become statisticians?
    Because they decide that accounting is too exciting.

    Did you hear about the statistician who was thrown in jail?
    Now he has zero degrees of freedom.

  2. There was a young couple, very much in love, who the night 
    before they were to be married, were both tragically killed in 
    an automobile accident. They found themselves at the pearly 
    gates of heaven being escorted in by St. Peter.

    After a couple of weeks in heaven, the prospective groom took 
    St. Peter aside and said, “St. Peter, my fiancé and I are very 
    happy in heaven, but we miss very much the opportunity to have 
    celebrated our wedding vows. Is it possible for people in 
    heaven to get married?”

    St. Peter looked at him and said, “I don’t know, I’ve never 
    heard of anyone in heaven wanting to get married. I’m afraid 
    you’ll have to talk to the Lord God Almighty about that. I can 
    get you an appointment for two weeks from Wednesday.”

    Come the appointed day, the couple were escorted by the guardian 
    angels into the august presence of the Lord God Almighty, where 
    they repeated the request. The Lord look at them solemnly and 
    said, “I’ll tell you what, wait five years and if you still want 
    to get married, come back and we will talk about it again.”

    Well, five years went by and the couple, still very much wanting 
    to get married, came back. Again the Lord God Almighty said, 
    please you must wait another five years and then I will 
    consider your request.”

    Finally, they came before the Lord God Almighty the third time, 
    ten years after their first request, and asked the Lord again. 
    This time the Lord answered, “Yes, you may marry. 
    Congratulations! This Saturday, at 2:00 pm, we will have 
    wonderful ceremony in the main chapel and the reception will be 
    on me!”

    The wedding was perfect. All the guests thought the bride was 
    beautiful, Moses brought some flowers from the Nile River delta, 
    and Ghandi came wearing his finest hand-woven sari. But, you 
    guessed it, the couple was married only a few weeks, when they 
    realized they had made a horrible mistake, they just couldn’t 
    stay married to one another.

    So, they made another appointment to see the Lord God Almighty, 
    this time to ask if they could get a divorce in heaven. When 
    the Lord heard their request he looked at them and said, “Look, 
    it took us ten years to find a priest up here in heaven, do you 
    have any idea how long it’ll take to find a lawyer!

    2

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