From The People’s Cube:
#BernieSandersisSoOld He sometimes slips up and calls them Bourgeois instead of Billionaires.
#BernieSandersisSoOld He used to call Stalin a young whippersnapper.
#BernieSandersisSoOld He can remember when ‘Global Warming’ meant the end of the Ice age.
#BernieSandersisSoOld He can look at a Sacagawea dollar and say “I had some great hanky-panky with her.”
#BernieSandersisSoOld he’s not gonna get half these jokes (and the other half will likely trigger an epileptic fit.)
…so old that Marx was asking Bernie for pointers.
He was an adviser when the Indians sold Manhattan.
Told them Wall Street was worthless.
…He breast fed Helen Thomas
…he sold Manhattan to the indians.
When he was born, Moby Dick was a minnow.
Bernie Sanders is So Old…
…his pet snake had a major role in the first book of the Old Testament.
he used to change napoleon’s diapers
…he got his economic and political ideas from the widespread use of leeches and practice of bloodletting by physicians.
Bernie is so old that his birth certificate is a stone tablet.
Only Bernie knows the truth about Lenin’s whereabouts during the Russian Revolution.
… Got beat up by John Adams for wanting more governmental power in the Constitution
… Fought against telephone company – “Who needs phones when we already have the telegraph?”
… Hates capitalism because he lost his fortune investing in stagecoach companies
he’s so old that he often forgets he’s a commie.
#SoFuckingOld his self-portrait is done in charcoal on the wall of a cave in the Cro Magnon region of France
His earwax contains fossilized trilobites.
…he can read cursive!
and the 4:20 crowd still loves him?
He used to play in Jurassic Park
He’s so old, Adam & Eve spent a weekend at Bernie’s…
His first car had holes in the floor for his feet-motors.
“He’s so old, he farts dust.”
— Eleanor describing FDR
He’s so old, he remembers when the Catskills were the Kittenskills….
Bernie Sanders is so old, he attended Moses’ bar mitzvah.
“Such delicious gefilte fish, Ruth, it was absolutely to DIE for!”
He’s so old, he snuck out of the Last Supper without paying.
He’s so old, he set up a toll booth when the Red Sea parted.
He was at game 5 when the Cubs won the World Series
Bernie Sanders is so old that he pees himself.
He partied like it was 999…
When someone mentions the 70’s he asks them to be more specific…
He still has some of Lot’s wife’s remains in his salt shaker.
He coined the phrase “get off my lawn!”
He divested Israel in 70 AD.
BS is so old, he’s deaf in one ear from The Big Bang.
Bernie is so old so that when the Big Bang occurred, he’s the one who yelled, “What the hell was that!??”
Bernie is so old when he bends over to tie his shoes he gets acid flashbacks from the 1960s. Far out man.
Sanders is so old he planted the apple tree in the Garden of Eden and gave the Serpent thirty days to pay for it, interest-free. He even threw in a tin watering can. Oy, such a deal, Bernie!
He farts dust.
(my Dad used to say that)
My apoligies to Ann Thracts….^
He remembers when iotwreport had an EDIT button…
(As always…don’t ban me! 🙂 )
You fuckers are all right. HAHAHAHA!!!! I’m cracking up here.
Speaking of Bernie, have y’all seen this?
https://www.facebook.com/awyllie/posts/10206801948142104
He once walked to Russia…from Alaska
… he remembers when there was only one continent.
Blacks weren’t called African-American, Negros, or Colored,
…just slaves.
@LocoBlancoSaltine…
“Edit”? Hell, I don’t even have a “Reply” button. Did I not get the memo, or is it just this #$&@ing Kindle I’m using? Or maybe a vacuum tube blew.
…just slaves
What? Too soon?
He invented fire
Saw the first comet to pass by the earth
He was ran out of the stone age for trying to regulate the usage of rocks.
Sanders is so hold his favorite soup flavor is Primordial.
(My avatar is titled “White Privilege”)
He was one of Fred Flintstone’s pallbearers.
Bernie is so old … when he was at the Last Supper with Jesus they tossed him out when he insisted on separate checks
Chalupa, sorry, I didn’t read all the comments.
Great minds, you know
He organized the Egyptian pyramid-builders’ union.
He’s so old he uses viagra to keep from pissing on his shoes.
He’s so old that when they circumsized him, they used a sharpened piece of granite
He’s so old, that when the Muslims were conducting their mass beheading of Medina Jews, Mohammed took one look at him and said, “Dont worry about this old fart.”