[This is an exclusive report from the Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service]
Patriot Retort: In an effort to minimize the number of blow-ups and flip-outs on the campaign trail, the Biden Campaign began testing a new Behavior Modification Helmet.
According to sources within the Biden camp, this Behavior Modification Helmet sends a mild electric shock directly into former Vice President Biden’s brain whenever he begins to lose his cool.
“We’ve tried a number of devices before we settled on the helmet,” said a source who spoke with us on the condition of anonymity. “At first, we went with your basic Taser. But since Joe has a tendency to make physical contact with the person he’s attacking, we ended up zapping, not just Joe, but also the target of his attack.” more
Joey’s handlers should try one of those collars from Running Man.
Maybe Joe needs to be sent to one of Zero’s re-education camps.
Dr. Jill just uses a spray bottle and a laser pointer….
Sources close to the matter say they’re going with the Animatronic Biden instead, since the debate has been moved to DC near the laboratory, and the sitting format will allow them to shift CPU power from balance to logic.
Can i have control of the power dial? We could make it like Edison’s demonstration about the dangers of AC power during a state electrocution. Biden’s head catches on fire and we can roast hot dogs over it.
That’d be great. Except for the burning hair smell.
I guess they could have used a dog shock collar, but Joe’s a cantankerous breed and difficult to train…
Light his fat on fire and run from the stink.
that thing will overload & short-circuit in the first 5 minutes!
I knew it was satire when I read “directly into former Vice President Biden’s brain” – and everybody knows that, in fact, he has no brain.
Good try, though. Almost had me convinced.
izlamo delenda est …