Chris Rock – How not to get your ass kicked by the police! – IOTW Report

Chris Rock – How not to get your ass kicked by the police!

Saturday, 18 July 2020, 17:00 MJA Uncategorized 18

One of my favorite videos.
*some salty language*

h/t Supernightshade.

18 Comments on Chris Rock – How not to get your ass kicked by the police!

  6. 🤣 And the fun part is- That works for ALL races.
    We all know someone like ‘the crazy friend’ and the ‘girlfriend’ or ‘wife.’

    I have a few stories from my 30s. [one to do with a police issue I wasn’t involved in] Oh my lanta, it’s like- How do weirdos find ME!? lol!

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  12. @MJA – “How do weirdos find ME!?”

    I’m not sure of a correct response to that. You’re advertising and don’t know it? You have a weird-attracting personality?

    (I’ve always been attracted to eccentrics.)

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  13. MJA
    JULY 18, 2020 AT 5:34 PM
    “🤣 And the fun part is- That works for ALL races.”

    …true, true…I tasted dirt my White self on a few occasions when I was younger and maybe got a little toffee-nosed with the Police, but there’s something about the loving tap of a PR-24 to the nutz that has a calming effect, at least to the extent that you don’t want ANOTHER one…

    …later, I leaned to do as the nice officer said (and stop blackout drinking Everclear and Hawaiian Punch, but that’s another story), and never had another problem, even the time a cop almost shot me for holding a screwdriver and looking like a jewelry store robber, but I was able to avoid death by nicely putting the screwdriver down on bellowed request, then being too old to be the ACTUAL jewelry store robber…

    …later, I flipped to the side of the law by working in an allied profession, and the only people I had to take care of for getting their lumps were people who EARNED their lumps.

    One of my favorites was, ironically, a Black guy, but it wasn’t his SKIN color that earned him his lumps, it was assaulting a cripple in a hospital that did that.

    …see, there was thus White guy who won a 4 million dollar lottery, so he immediately went out and bought a car that was WAY too powerful for him, that we later had to cut him out of, sans leg, BECAUSE it was way too powerful for him. Anyway, flash forwards a bit and this guy didn’t get along with his backdoor neighbor for whatever reason, and they were constantly arguing, and it sometimes came to blows serious enough to require Police and Squad intervention. On one such occasion, they went at it so hard that the White guy (who was ALSO an asshole) tried to beat the Black guy to death with his detached artificial leg, so the cops took his leg for evidence as a weapon and both of them went to the hospital. Well, our potato-headed Squad Captain was smart enough to use separate units, but then he routed us both TO THE SAME HOSPITAL. Well, Two-legs somehow found out One-leg was in the same ER as him, and decided to pay his bay a visit to continue their rather lively discussion in a medical setting. We had to help the nurses intervene by literally sitting on Two-Legs and restraining One-Leg in the bed that Two-Legs had unceremoniously rolled him out of, until the security guard wiped (I hope), pulled up his pants, and showed up about the same time that the local law enforcement the nurse had called did.

    Well, Two-Legs decided he wanted to continue the discussion with the group expanded to include the LEOS, who decided that notwithstanding his mostly superficisl injuries, needed to leave the ER for a time for a calming talk by the squad car outside. Well, like many police cars of the era, this one apparently had an oil leak next to it because the guy kept slipping face-first into the patrol car every time the helpful officers tried to lift him back up and his mouth proved to be too heavy to hold up. After a few rounds of this he was miraculously cured of his oral diarrhea, and he and his fresh bruises could now be patched up without further incident, although with lots of glowering looks.

    But it was because he was being a dangerous ass, NOT because he was Black. Once he STOPPED being a dangerous ass, everything was fine. He never stopped being Black as far as I know, so the
    negative treatment he received was definitely NOT linked to THAT as it stopped with his assholiness, NOT his skin color.

    Saw others like this, same story, different day. Cops only fought people who fought THEM, from what I saw, and believe ME it was NOT a White community…

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  14. MJA
    JULY 18, 2020 AT 5:34 PM
    “…How do weirdos find ME!?”

    …um, you’re on a blog, blogs are weirdo attractants.

    …but we’re happy to be your weirdos, don’t worry, we don’t eat much…

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  15. I’ve been detained 4-5 times. But as a result of diplomatic discussions, respectful yes sir/no sir I’m clean. And that is with minorities as the arresting officers. All people appreciate being respected.

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  17. The two times I’ve been stopped by the police (driving) was for expired tabs. The first time irritated me because the state issued the wrong month tabs. The next year they did the same thing and I was stopped at the corner of our street by a female cop and I got really sore because she left her lights flashing and it was like a scene out of “Cops”. Ours is a quiet, residential neighborhood and it was evening commute time, so all my neighbors were coming home and it was, frankly, embarrassing. I told her she didn’t have to have her lights flashing and then gave her the whole rundown on how the state screwed up my tabs. I was very mouthy — but that was back when we all thought the police worked for us, right? Also, she was one of those masculine type cops. Couldn’t get away with that today, I’m sure.

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  18. So one night I get pulled over by a State Trooper. When he gets to my car and asks why I was speeding I start telling him how my ex took all my stuff and ran off with a cop. He asked why am I telling him this. I said I thought he was bringing her back

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