I get emails asking for advice sometimes. But not too many
– and there may be a reason for that.
Anyway, here’s a good one:
“Dear MJAdvisor”[That’s me]
“The sexiest clothes I bought for the Missus this Christmas came from
Tractor Supply.Am I in trouble?”
Right away, I answered:
But, is it silky?
He writes back:
“Kind of.”
I think he’s safe.
Merry Christmas!
And where might one find your e-mail address?
Not on the contact page…
Silky in a burlap kind of way.
Wow.
Does she think your tractor’s sexy?
Silky bib overalls? Nice!!
Add some Trumpster swag and you’ll have it in the bag. 😁 🎄 Merry Christmas!
Don’t forget to also give her all the hand and power tools Tractor Supply carries so she can do all the yard work and build things for you.
I wouldn’t mind if hubby picked me up some of those silky thermals from TSC or Blaine’s Farm and Fleet.
I am freezing my buns off in our balmy 18 degree high of the day.
Before I forget, here’s wishing everyone a “Very Merry Christmas”.
Is there a flap in the back like old-time long Johns? I hear what you’re thinking! STOP IT.
Dear MJAdvisor, after my passing should I vote absentee or at the polling place?
Dear MJAdvisor,
Is it OK to tell my wife I didn’t get her the appendix carry holster she wanted for her .45 because I think she’s too fat for it?
Signed,
Clueless in Cincinnati
Hey!! Careful with that! Them’s my FANCY overalls!!
Merry Christmas MJA and Fur
WHEN I WAS MARRIED, I BOUGHT HER A POOL TABLE..A REALLY NICE ONE..DIDN’T GO OVER WELL!!
Do you think I’ll be okay buying my wife XS pajamas and replacing the tag with XXL?
A friend posted a couple of days ago that he ordered jewelry for his wife, but instead received a Glock 19 and 500 rounds of ammo.
She is okay with it.
Merry Christmas everybody!
Y’all have a Merry Christmas. It’s gonna be in the mid 30’s
here in SC tomorrow. The state may or may not be open due to
the chilly weather… lol
Last Christmas my wife was thrilled when she unwrapped her new vacuum cleaner. This was the Roomba iRobot she had been wanting and hinting about for weeks. It probably helped that I dampened her expectations by having her unwrapping the new fire extinguishers first. There were other, more traditional gifts but, I swear, the Roomba was the big hit.
Benito – Should have gone with the bowling ball.
ecp- hilarious. Good luck, though.
Dear MJAdvisor,
My ex-wife invited me over for Christmas day with one of our sons. But she once told me she wished I was dead. So, should I go? And should I make funeral arrangements first?
Jimmy
My wife texted over an image of a ring, The size of the ring, the store, the hours of the store, the salesperson’s name who set it aside, then asked me if I had any questions. She also said to wrap it so she’s surprised.
SuperShopperNightshade- Oh my goodness! I hope her appendix heals so she doesn’t have to support it like that.
😉
Dear MJAdvisor,
I told my wife that I wish to be cremated upon my death. She set up an appointment for Tuesday. Should I be concerned?
Jimmy-
You should go. But wearing a shirt that says, ‘not today, satan!’
PHenry- WHICH Tuesday?
9 mil or 45?
Brad –
yes.
MJA
You are good. That’s the only correct answer. LOL
MJAdvisor – How do you like your Christmas sugar cookes? Plain or with colored icing and sprinkles? And am I a wuss if I decorate them?
(Merry Christmas MJA and I still say you are the Best In The West!)
I like them, periodt. End of story.
“And am I a wuss if I decorate them?”
Only if they’re ‘pretty’.
Merry Christmas right back!
MJA
Merry Christmas to all at IOTW!
And, as Tiny Tim would say (no…not THAT Tiny Tim), God bless us, every one!
Dear MJAdvisor,
A few Christmases ago I bought the wife a sexy little red…
handled snow shovel. She loves it.
Dear MJAdvisor,
MHatch ‘says’ she wants a COOKING SCISSOR for this Christmas…for cooking…but she doesn’t cook!?
What should I do?
Worried in Westchester
(aka Ghost)
Slip a hard-cover cookbook under your tshirt. And down your pants.
-MJA
Dear MJAdvisor,
Can you find me a husband that will buy me a silky … ANYTHING!
Heck, it doesn’t even have to be silky! 🤪 🤣🤣
Hey, I’ll find you one if you find ME one. lol
MJA
President-Elect Emperss of the Universe Claudia
DECEMBER 24, 2020 AT 2:37 PM
…husbands are overrated. They burp, fart, drop things, make messes, and expect you to clean them up. Husbands are nothing but smelly inconveniences.
…or so I’ve been told…;)
SuperShopperNightshade,
I live with two sister who do the same things!
Sheesh, I can’t win!!!
@President-Elect Empress of the Universe Claudia – I’ve seen enough Dateline shows to know that you are better off with peace in your home than with a psycho waiting to strike.
…this for dear Claudia…
https://youtu.be/Ko3yBFoTm5c
…Merry Christmas!
(^^^ it really kicks off about a minute in, enjoy…)
Hey! What am I- chopped liver?
@Cherrybark is the first guy who actually got away with buying his wife a vacuum cleaner. I bow to your greatness.
“President-Elect Empress of the Universe Claudia”
With a title like that, it’s no wonder you have a ‘court of ladies in waiting!’ Right now, they should be baking up a carbohydrate storm for the one day of the year when you go off the keto. (That’s what I’m doing today. Mmmm. Hot ginger snaps…)
@Claudia and MJA
https://www.amazon.com/Breathable-Fashionable-Adjustable-Lightweight-Butterfly/dp/B08L81F4DD/ref=sr_1_15?dchild=1&keywords=silk+face+mask&qid=1608842223&sr=8-15
Alluring – and practical too!
Sorry….I’m taken.
@Jethro – and with a gift like that it’s a good thing that you are taken.
Not cook! I cook all the time and I have tons of cookbooks from “back in the day”! Ghost knows why I need the scissors!! Don’t you Ghost?!?He’s luck I’m only using the scissors for cooking.
God Bless us all!
@MJA – you need to use the below as your logo or something!
Peanuts, Christmas and ‘advisors’ for 5 cents…very cheap…but that was 1965…you need to pro rate that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzmidvCBeoc&feature=emb_logo
Now I’m gonna associate you with Lucy…in MY brain. In a good way!
LOLOL, thanks for the advice, very sound and practical. Just have to figure out to sleep on, my back or stomach?!
One year I bought her a new iron for Christmas. Another year I bought her a new floor mop and pail. This year I bought her a pair of army boots. I hope she’ll be happy for a change.
Dear MJAdvisor.
It’s time to wrap the gifts.
Paper or plastic?
Dear MJAdvisor,
The missus bought me a T-shirt with a target on the back.
She asked for an archery set. Should I buy her the archery lessons?
Dear MJAdvisor,
I’d like to extend a sincere thanks to you, Fur, Claudia, Dr. Tar, Mr. Pinko and any others behind the scene who make iOTWReport happen. May all your 2021’s be better than expected! And…
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Thanks to everyone for your concern for my (and MJA’s) plight! Bwaahahahaha
Maybe next year…
Dear MJAdvisor,
The other gifts I bought from tractor supply includes a little pig that sings Pop goes the weasel and farts randomly.
I am in big trouble.
Of course the MyPillow topper, pillows, 2 sets of geezer sheets and all the other stuff should get me off the hook.
I love my wife. I also love messing with her. It’s a sporting event.
I love messing with my IOTW friends and enemies. Merry Christmas all.