Diogenes’ Middle Finger;
To Crunch or Not to Crunch. That is the Question.
Ya know for far too long, ladies like myself have had to sit by the wayside as we watch our men enjoying the delicious flavored tortilla chips known to the world as Doritos. As much as we might try to enjoy them ourselves, certain things have always gotten in the way. The crunching for one, is far too loud!
As a woman, I pride myself on being as accommodating as humanly possible, and “too loud” crunching could interrupt a man when he is explaining to me why I am wrong, or while watching his favorite TV show.
How can one be seen and not heard with all that CRUNCHING going on? Chomp chomp chomp! So unladylike! And the powder! Don’t even get me started on the powder. Why, my favorite pair of white gloves is all but ruined with red-gold nacho cheese stains from the last time I attempted to eat some!
But finally, the good people at Doritos have an answer to my womanly woes! MORE
i’m callin bs, my ladys make lotsa noise and lick my fingers generously. HELLO!
You know want I hate?
When you visit someone and they offer you stale, mushy chips.
Save The Crunch!!
My wife is a power lifter and makes more gross noises than I do.
Snacho cheese. Ewwww.
Why ain’t they shaped like pussy hats?
Leave the bag open for 2 days. They won’t crunch at all.
Shouldn’t they be called Doritos?
But I like the crispy crunchy sound!
It’s satisfying!
(Cooler Ranch is better than Nacho Cheese btw.)
The internet is loving this:
Add “Lady” and ruin a food item.
My favorite:
Lady Back Ribs
LOL! 🙂
Next thing you know, ladies will want to quiet the passing of gas too