Ernest Gets His Car Unstuck – IOTW Report

Ernest Gets His Car Unstuck

Patriot Retort: This is Part Two in my “Damn, it snowed in November” series.

I finally finished shoveling the front. Which took all day – with several breaks to rest my Lupus-ridden carcass.

As I mentioned in the previous post, someone got his car stuck in the middle of the street about seven feet from the end of my driveway. If I had any plans to go anywhere, it was made impossible by this genius who found himself stuck and decided to just leave his car there abandoned.

The entire time I was out there shoveling, that car remained. Nobody came to retrieve it all morning.

I was halfway tempted to make a sign that read: “Mentally Handicapped Parking Only” then nail it to a post and stick in the snow beside his car. But that seemed like an awful lot of work. Besides, I had to shovel.

Who leaves a car stuck in the middle of the street for seven hours?!

During my first break, I came in and called the DPW to let them know the plows will not be able to plow our street because of the car stuck smack-dab in the center.

The guy at Public Works told me, “Call the police. Snow emergency is in effect. They have to ticket and tow it.”

So I called my local precinct.

An officer came about ten minutes later to ticket the car. That was around ten-thirty.  read the rest

20 Comments on Ernest Gets His Car Unstuck

  1. FYI,

    One more step
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    and Google

    404. That’s an error.

    “The requested URL /search?q=cache:http://patriotretort.com/ernest-gets-his-car-unstuck/&hl=en&gbv=1&ct=clnk was not found on this server. That’s all we know.”

    Psst… it’s your hosts http certificates. Just in case you wonder where’s the traffic.

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  2. frankly, the point is … is that we are so inept that we can’t even drive in an inch of snow anymore without being totally panicked & expecting someone from the gubmint to rescue us in our fragility

    our cities are going to be so easily taken over by anyone willing to push … not even hard … just a little

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  3. Damn, you should have put the word out that a Conservative has intentionally blocked the driveway of a progressive….No doubt, numerous lefties would have shown up to eliminate the problem.

    4
  4. Christmas eve 1982 we got 24 inches in 24 hours….the city was paralyzed…I lived on a pretty busy street, so parking was a premium….I had a 4 wheel drive and got around spectacularly. One of my roommates had a 67 pontiac lemans and he spent a day digging out his car and making himself a nice parking spot….then he had to put down the bong and go somewhere. He came home to some asshole parking in the spot he had cleared ….we towed the interlopers car a couple of miles away and it was icy so we didn’t fuck up that transmission. I’m guessin’ he found it eventually….never knew….nobody parked in Timmy’s spot again….

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  5. willysgoatgruff,
    True story.
    Driving during that icy snowstorm to the friends house next to the one that shoveled. . .
    Crested hill. . .
    Going down hill. . .
    Lost traction. . .
    Spinning. . .

    Spinning. . .

    Oh sh_t

    Spinning. . .

    Now backwards

    Heading directly towards a parked car. . .

    All 4 wheels locked up. . .

    SLIDING

    and then. . .

    and then. . .

    And then I hit clear asphalt where a parked car had recently vacated and stopped about a foot from the parked car.

    Lucky Day #1,482 in 1980s.

    5
  6. Dragging People Cars

    When the wife and I first got married we live in a pretty nice apartment complex in the Bay Area. We had two covered assigned parking spots. I was working nights and was getting home around 1:00 A.M. I get home one night and there’s a nice new shiny BMW parked in my spot. I write a note explaining he’s parked in my spot, please don’t do it again. Think that was on a Monday. Wednesday, he’s back. Leave another note. Friday, back again. It’s raining, I’m pissed. I wrapped a tuggem strap around his rear diff and hooked it up to my Chevy four wheeled and drug that thing out in the middle of the parking lot. Parked in my spot, went to bed. About 10:00 am the nest morning me and the wife are headed for the gym and this clown and a couple of his buds are waiting. Middle eastern. Before they were called muzzie scum. They didn’t want any of it. He never parked in my spot again.

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  7. !0 years ago during our Snowpocalypse I managed to get my crummy Chevy Corsica stuck in deep snow about 2 blocks from my house. Fortunately my son was able to pull me out the next morning with his Ford Bronco. That was quite a snow storm, we received 3-4 ft. of snow in 36 hrs. or so. The parking lot where I worked had 18-20 inches of snow in it and we couldn’t get to work for about 2 days till they were able to plow it out. And like all natural disasters sure enough 9 months later there was a small baby boom, hey what else are you gonna do when it snows like that, the same thing happened after Mt. St. Helens blew up in 1980, 9 months later a lot of kids named Ashley or so we joked were born.

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  8. Speaking of plows.
    We got three inches of snow, then sleet and finally rain on top that compressed it. Not a huge deal. During the afternoon the plow guy comes by at about 40mph (25mph speed limit). The impact of the slush being thrown by the plow blows my mailbox completely off the post. Now I have to spend this morning repairing it so I can receive my bills…
    That mailbox had been there for over 16 years without issue, surviving plowing after snowstorms that dumped as much as 24 inches, . The plow driver was an ass for driving that fast. The county was stupid for paying lousy plow companies for plowing side streets unnecessarily.

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  9. Trouble with rag heads taking your parking spot? Use Goat-Phukker-Be-Gone. Slow cook bacon in a BBQ right smack dab in the middle of your parking spot every day until problem goes away. About once a week after that. Has kept them away for a year now.

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  10. Poor Dianny! Don’t you have nice neighbors to help you?

    I learned a trick from my dad, who was a snowplow driver. Park my car at the end of the driveway after I clear it. When the snowplow comes by, they will veer away to not hit my car. Then I only have a little bit of snow to clear off. Worked every time!

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