Babylon Bee: WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite 160 years of overwhelming evidence that pointed to foul play in the first assassination of an American president, the leaders of the Federal Bureau of Investigation revealed that they had now determined that Abraham Lincoln killed himself. more
16 Comments on FBI Determines Abraham Lincoln Killed Himself
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FBI Determines Abraham Lincoln was a Jew… with the evidence that his first name was Abe and he was shot in the temple.
Suicide. I have seen the file.
HEY! It was I that killed Lincoln.
I want to know what he had on Hillary.
I’ve seen the reports.
Why does the FBI still exist?
@MrLiberty — The FBI still exists because they’ve maintained J. Edgar Poofter’s files and kept them up-to-date via illegal 702 snooping.
Trust the science
Lincoln DIDN’T kill himself?
Geat Sarcasm!!!!
How could the FBI determine that Lincoln killed himself when the FBI didn’t exist in 1865?
geoff – If yer gonna start makin sense around here, I’m goin home!
Lincon was married to a mostly insane woman. I really believe he arranged his own assassination.
He hired JW Booth to do the job. Lincoln paid him handsomely and even gave Booth the derringer that was used to kill him. Then there was a police officer who was supposed to be guarding the president. Lincoln gave him a few dollars and told him to scram and go have some drinks.
But he didn’t personally kill himself. Nah. That’s a bit too farfetched for me to believe.
The Kash we thought we were getting…
https://media.assettype.com/freepressjournal/2024-11-07/78u3m6wx/Kashyap-Patel.jpg?width=1200
…and the Kash we got…
https://youtu.be/vrYwuIAAoVs?si=yuew3vun1chHl8vE
Weren’t the Pinkertons the equivalent of the FBI back then?
& according to an asshole named b. menninger, a secreting cervix agent riding in the convertible behind jfk was the? assassin…equally as probable as the fbi/lincoln findings