DMF:
Many times on this page I’ve commented sarcastically in response to radical environmentalist claims that our very existence is disrupting universal vibes and doing irreversible harm to Mother Earth, by echoing the words of a skit on the 1970’s National Lampoon record ‘Lemmings’, that they jump into a hole and beat themselves into organic fertilizer to help save the planet & quicken their own demise.
Well, today’s radical environmentalist, who are more concerned about their recycle can and their pets than their children’s education, now will soon have an alternative to Dan Aykroyd’s Lemmings Stage Announcer’s suggestions.
Environmental experts have come up with a revolutionary system to convert human remains into soil as an alternative to cremation or burial. So now, if they feel there are too many of us them, or they just feel like they’re pustules on the butt of Mother Earth, they can turn themselves into planting material for aunt Alice’s flower boxes. read more
This will not end well, but will end in plague.
“Soon they’ll be breeding us like cattle, for food! You’ve got to tell them, Hatcher! SOILENT BROWN IS PEOPLE! “
Next: vegans find a way to turn human remains into tofu.
Our deceased family members need to be memorialized in some way and this is a disrespectful practice. Ideally cremains should be buried or interred with memorial stones or markers and published obituaries to preserve our heritage. If you are interested please donate your time to your local historical society for record preservation so future generations may search their family trees. If we don’t look back with reverence how can we look forward to the future?
If you can’t afford the 300 bucks for a newspaper obit, please type one up yourself and take to your local historical society.
Since a corpse is mostly water and a few dollars worth of other elements, plant food is a logical choice.
Founder of earth day started it.
I told my wife to put me in a hefty garbage bag and drag me down to the curb.
PLEASE give! For only $19.95 per month, YOU can compost a LIBERAL. Help make your town a GREENER place. Thank you for listening….
My opinion will be offensive, as it sometimes is, but I don’t care what is done with my corpse when I’m done with it.
The Bible says there will be resurrection for EVERY person who has ever lived. Some will be raised unto glory and eternal life, most unto judgment, shame and eternal condemnation.
But ALL will be raised anew out of the corruption of death.
That means all the people who evaporated at Hiroshima and Nagasaki…those lost at sea and completely disintegrated to molecules…those buried 3,000 years ago and now are scattered dust…the embalmed and the cremated…ALL souls will be raised to physical life again.
So I couldn’t care less what’s done with my temporary lodging. At that point it won’t be me anymore.
Anonymous DECEMBER 4, 2019 AT 7:31 AM
“Founder of earth day started it”.
Not the same since the new plan is more nuanced than composting a body in your own closet.
Uncle Al, you could call tofu made from composted dead people tofualarkey short for tofu malarkey.
Scott’s Garden Mulch: Now With People!
You could buy premium mulch made from Patriot remains or the cheap mulch made from the remains of evil anti-american hater Democrats (but you do get an extra bonus of extra bullshit)!
Rotten bastards.
SRSLY. Just look at that website.
https://www.recompose.life/
They should grind up Terrorists and feed those feral hogs.
Fatten them up for their relocation to the Middle East
Okay, this is just disgusting.
I’d rather eat bugs.
I wondered where it would end when they started making jewelry out of cremated remains and then it went to nail art and now compost.
People like to laugh and sneer when you talk about having morals and valuing life, but look what has happened in the relatively short amount of time schools were nationalized, they immediately started fighting to remove God and for the most part have done a pretty good job. Now you have disrespectful children, having sex before they even reach puberty, queers being taught as normal, teaching kids they’re the opposite sex, people suntanning their buttholes, animal abuse gets you more prison time than child abuse and now composting human remains.
When I die I want my remains spread at Disneyland.
.
.
Also, no cremation.
At $5,500, why bother? WAAAAAY too expensive. Rip off.
“Now recycle yourself into mulch and fertilizer with the new and improved Bass-O-Matic!”
Wouldn’t just throwing their dead bodies into a wood chipper be cheaper, messy but cheaper.
Where were these experts when I needed them?