Florida Man: ‘Naked, bloody, and slippery’  – IOTW Report

Florida Man: ‘Naked, bloody, and slippery’ 

FOX:

‘Naked, bloody, and slippery’ Florida man covered in grease, peppermint oil arrested after breaking into homes. Florida police the man was under ‘unknown substances’ that led him to go on a wild rampage.

Florida deputies pursued a slippery suspect after they chased down a man who was covered in grease and peppermint oil in the middle of the night, police said.

Volusia County deputies were called to a reported burglary in progress at a home in DeBary, Florida around 2 a.m. Friday. They found 34-year-old suspect Blake Tokman had smashed out the windows of one house, then left and broke into another home. MORE HERE
h/t SNS.

14 Comments on Florida Man: ‘Naked, bloody, and slippery’ 

  1. ‘”It took four deputies to get him into custody, plus three more medical professionals to secure him on a stretcher for evaluation and treatment of injuries he caused himself,” the sheriff’s office said in a news release.’

    …THIS is a measure of your qualifications to be a true Florida Man. When it takes multiple LEO and ALSO more than a single ambulance crew of medical personnel to even subdue you enough to wipe off the layers of grease, oil, and blood to BEGIN to discover what damage you’ve done to YOURSELF…then you can consider yourself a TRUE Florida Man.

    Congratulations.

    ..and BTW, anyone seen BFH lately?

    …no reason, its just him living in Florida and all, well…

    11
  2. @ Jerry
    I’m no Beer snob, but thinking real men don’t drink Bud Lite. 3/4 the calories, half the taste and half the buzz. That math don’t make sense. I’ll stick with the red cans.

    6
  3. ‘Naked, bloody, and slippery’

    …would also be an intetesting description for the morning after a successful honeymoon night.

    Kind of depends on where the blood is coming from.

    Also, why and how much.

    3
  4. One more reason I couldn’t be a cop.

    “Grab em!”
    “Nah … you grab him.”
    “Man, this is a job for Pete Buttigieg – or that Bud Light creature …”

    mortem tyrannis
    izlamo delenda est …

    8
  5. Probably upset that he missed the Daytona 500 , Biker’s Week and Classic Cars during the Spring Break and decided to have his own naked pool party with unknown substances.

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