Good : Your wife is pregnant.
Bad : It’s triplets.
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.
Good : Your wife’s not talking to you
Bad : She wants a divorce.
Ugly : She’s a lawyer.
Good : Your son is finally maturing.
Bad : He’s involved with the women next door.
Ugly : So are you.
Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly : You’re in them.
Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can’t find your birth control pills.
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.
Good : Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He’s a cross-dresser.
Ugly : He looks better than you.
Good : You just gave ‘the birds and the bees’ talk to your daughter.
Bad : She keeps interrupting.
Ugly : With corrections.
Good : Your son is dating someone new.
Bad : It’s another man.
Ugly : He’s your best friend.
Good : Your daughter got a new job.
Bad : As a hooker.
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way ugly : She makes more money than you do
***
h/t Doc
Bad Brad, MJA, Tsunami
Good: Your wife got promoted to Vice President of her company.
Bad: You found out she is sleeping her way to the top.
Ugly: It’s her family’s business.
Holy crap, I see a t.v. drama that will put ‘Payton Place’ to shame.
Good: your son got engaged
Bad: to a girl from Hollywood
Ugly: Lena Dunham
Good: You matched all six numbers in the lottery
Bad: The day after the doctor tells you you have about six months
Ugly: And you mistakenly lost the ticket in a shredder accident
Good: You buy a mansion in Potomac, Maryland.
Bad: A Moslem moves in next door.
Ugly: It’s Barack Obama.
Good: You Rest In Peace in Hyde Park in 1945.
Bad: Your wife is buried there in 1962.
Ugly: On top of you.
Good: Your restaurant is incredibly busy and profitable
Bad: Your new waitresses are Malia and Sasha
Ugly: Michelle has “suggestions” for the menu
A vasectomy will not keep your wife from getting pregnant. No, it only changes the color of the baby.
Good: Bernie Sanders beats out Hillary for the Dem nomination.
Bad: He wins the election.
Good: He dies one month after being elected.
Bad: He had picked Hillary for his VP.
Good: Hillary’s terminally ill, too.
Bad: She gets to choose her replacement as VP.
Ugly: Hillary dies six months later after picking her husband Bill to be Vice President.
🙂
Whoa!